HoustonHorn Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 This is coming after finding out some bad news yesterday. Nothing like I'm going to die soon or anything like that. But it's something we've been trying for for several years and found out yesterday that we're going to have to keep waiting. Thought a little bit of ambiguous background might help Do you ever wish you could go back to being Christian? Not so you could go to church, tithe, try to convert people, or anything like that. Simply so that when something goes wrong you could believe that it went wrong for a greater reason. It seemed so much better when something went wrong but it was part of "God's plan" than to just chalk it up to bad luck. It seemed easier to accept that way. I suppose the other side is that I don't have to think that it's my fault when something goes wrong. It's not some underlying sin that caused this to happen. Chalking it up to bad luck does seem better than it being my fault for watching Harry Potter. But I know that I can't go back to being a Christian. There's no way I can see myself swallowing that pill again, at least not for any significant length of time. And I know this feeling will pass. It's not the first time we've gone through this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Do you ever wish you could go back to being Christian? Not so you could go to church, tithe, try to convert people, or anything like that. Simply so that when something goes wrong you could believe that it went wrong for a greater reason. It seemed so much better when something went wrong but it was part of "God's plan" than to just chalk it up to bad luck. It seemed easier to accept that way. I never looked back on xtianity. Now, I "have" kinda looked back foundly on agnosticism, as I felt that was the "truth" for the longest time. I guess I am a bit more "ex" agnostic now that I am an atheist, I was agnostic more then I was xtian. But, I take comfort in the fact that I don't "know" anything really about the spirit realm, or if there even "is" one, but it's the not "knowing" that helps you relax and let go. "What will be, will be" regardless of my input into the matter. I never really ever believed any god had a "plan" for me, I always considered myself too insignificant to be the focus of a diety's "plan" of any sort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 I've had so many things going wrong with my life that it was the main reason I lost my faith. So I can't go back until I can see some stability of our situation, and not getting large surprises once a year. Last year it was one corrupt lawyer in my son's case, this year it looks like medical issues with my son, next year it will be issues related to him turning 18. Big questions, a lot of time required. To go back for me, is to add one more burden, it wouldn't lighting it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eejay Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 No Houston, I do not myself ever wish to go back. I doubt anybody's life is without issues. Going back for me would be a complete guilt trip, where everytime something didn't go right, it would be like what did I do to piss god off this much?? And the x-tians would then say, that I have too little faith...and on....and on. No, I don't need that anymore. It was like keeping yourself in an abusive relationship cycle. At least now when things go wrong, and they do from time to time, I just realize that things happen to everybody, x-tian and non x-tian alike. It's just part of life and living. I wouldn't say that I have ever had the greatest luck in the world, but I don't attribute it anymore to me being unworthy to receive god's gifts. I tried to find faith, it just didn't happen. And the time's that have been their darkest, and I begged god to come into my life, there was nothing but a void. We do have within us a remarkable courage that comes from within, and with that the ability to get up and dig ourselves out of the hole we've been swallowed into. It isn't easy a lot of times, but most of the time we do get back up, dust ourselves off, and keep going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Bah, I really don't miss it. Like I've mentioned before, I've missed some of the popularity I used to have, bu that will change...has changed to some extent as some have pointed out. Still, I really don't miss the mental gymnastics and self-torture I used to put myself through. Xianity brings me absolutely no peace of mind whatsoever so I will thankfully do without it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knitterman Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Do you ever wish you could go back to being Christian? There are not enough letters in the word "no" to adequately express the full-no-ness of my strong desire to never ever go back to what I know my life was like as a Christian. At that time in my life, I thought it was all I needed. But I would listen to other sermons, and even some of my own, and wonder "How can people believe this stuff?" Outrageous claims, unkept promises, blatant duplicity, hypocrisy among the clergy, and on and on. I also would not go back to being told I couldn't do something because it would be displeasing to god or wasn't fitting for Christians or some other b.s. excuse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
insanezenmistress Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Humm would i like to go back? What where the spiritaul benifits of my ignorance? Well, a child like faith. Once upon a time we where just introduced to the christ figure. And he held a sence of wonderment for us. We looked forward to all the life he was goign to teach us. Well i did. I Craved my ideal Jesus. Didnt we all? But naggingly, and enevidably, the falseness of my surreroundings and flagrant dis-obedience to very basic good human values caused me to see the chacanery and religion-ness of the bible and of many other bookly religions. There was a sickness, and a lack of depth. So i continued to seek my ideal jesus...................to take the highest and most attainable and sincerly seek truth and unity with wisdom. So i could be worthy to be for my god what i thought my highest ideal of god would require. SO if in the end, the answer was pure religiosity, and blind faith without enjoying my ideal faithfullness, then to hell i am bound, and think i have always been in hell. For me to have my Ideal of god and the basic christ story retold by my life is a fine noble ideal. It has Even biblical support. Even though the bible is a pack of lies. And has the potintial to and, verilly only has, showed itself to be a nasty rag of a thing to many many humans thru time. If we had all been born muslem our conversations would the writeing the same intetion. And we where buddhist our conversation would be about The Scriptures comepared to the reality. Yet Reality is just as much personal as it is universialy. And even ALL we know is not available to all who have a brain, and their are forms of reality yet unkown to our current human awareness, . If i would go back into my "chrisitan idealism" and share such a message in the christ-story or messianic mythos tells of human spiritaulity and the ideal god, i guess i would. For many, Chrisitnaity seems to work. Could it be that perhaps they are not insecure? They are confident in their subjective experiences of their hightest god-ideal. And Look into the scripture alittle deeper (emotionally) than surface scum and shitheads? I know many beautiful people of faith. I wish i would talk about god as i see him in Church. I wish i can freely doubt and freely argue my case with a christian, but their are many who have shut the real getting to know god parts of the faith unused and expect miricles for their pretence of obeying a dead, illlogical code. So all in all No, i would never go back to what i once was. And it seems the gates are already locked against me to return. But i can still enjoy the whole god thing without being bound to it. My pastor once chided me about my arogance when i said "I had to leave the religion because it wasnt enough for me. To have no work to do for my salvation, to just mope along and moan, help me jesus." Have you read.... "where the red fern grows." ? In that story is a heart rending version of my ideal god's interaction in the world. it just happens some times. Jessy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonolithTMA Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Part of me wishes I could go back in time and voice all the questions I've developed over the years, but I could never be an orthodox Christian again, as I do not believe the bible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoustonHorn Posted March 7, 2008 Author Share Posted March 7, 2008 Thanks all. I guess it's along the same lines as ignorance is bliss. Having "God's plan" to fall back on was the easy way out. I was just feeling down this morning and needed to vent a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike D Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 It seemed so much better when something went wrong but it was part of "God's plan" than to just chalk it up to bad luck. This works until I read about little kids who are snatched from their parents by pedophiles, then raped, tortured and murdered. Or babies who have their heads blown off by suicide bombers or terrorist attacks. The "god's plan" thing just doesn't hold water at that point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 No. Christianity does not correspond with the way I perceive the world. It took many years, but it is gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Do you ever wish you could go back to being Christian? Not so you could go to church, tithe, try to convert people, or anything like that. Simply so that when something goes wrong you could believe that it went wrong for a greater reason. It seemed so much better when something went wrong but it was part of "God's plan" than to just chalk it up to bad luck. It seemed easier to accept that way. I never seriously embraced that view in my past as a liberal German christian... so strictly speaking I have to reply "no". But I gladly concede that the church I was part of was quite a kind bunch... so while I now despise the cult itself, I still respect christians of that kind, and the church activities I took part in were fun enough that I may well consider taking part in one (if they tolerate the confessing heathen I am now ) just for the fun of it. Yeah I had a comparably sweet christian past, viewed in light of your experiences folks... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest laceknitter Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Yes. It was very easy to just say that everything, no matter how fucked up, was part of God's plan. Now I'm not sure how to frame things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vendredie Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 The only times I wished I could ever go back were during the wildfire about a month ago and during a recent thunderstorm (I have a bit of a lightning phobia that I'm just starting to get over). Each time I thought I was being punished and I wanted to go back so God would make it stop. Other than that, hell no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mick Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 I never wish I could go back. However, sometimes I miss the context that allowed for me to have some pretty gret friends. I went to the hospital to see an old friend' ex wife last night who is in critical condition. The reason I went is because I thought noone else would. However, a few old freinds from my old church showed up, and other than a little bit of obnoxious praying, I had a great time with them. That is literally the only thing I miss. Overall I still feel like grabbing by the shirt and asking what is wrong with them. This is coming after finding out some bad news yesterday. Nothing like I'm going to die soon or anything like that. But it's something we've been trying for for several years and found out yesterday that we're going to have to keep waiting. Thought a little bit of ambiguous background might help Do you ever wish you could go back to being Christian? Not so you could go to church, tithe, try to convert people, or anything like that. Simply so that when something goes wrong you could believe that it went wrong for a greater reason. It seemed so much better when something went wrong but it was part of "God's plan" than to just chalk it up to bad luck. It seemed easier to accept that way. I suppose the other side is that I don't have to think that it's my fault when something goes wrong. It's not some underlying sin that caused this to happen. Chalking it up to bad luck does seem better than it being my fault for watching Harry Potter. But I know that I can't go back to being a Christian. There's no way I can see myself swallowing that pill again, at least not for any significant length of time. And I know this feeling will pass. It's not the first time we've gone through this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marke Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 I am 15 years gone now and in the first years I would sometimes with I could go back and take the blue pill, no longer, I have learned to live without having to believe in things that don't exist for a little comfort. If I ever think I must get some fellowship and kill an hour on Sunday I would find a congregation of UUs and join up with them. I know an atheist and a agnostic on other forums that are members and it seems that being an atheist is no problem for most congregations of the UU. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 At this point, I can't. It's not who I am anymore. I cannot justify so-called Christian "morals." It isn't even that much about proof for me. It's about a group who, for the most part, justifies eternal torture and is very bigoted. I can't be a part of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onyx Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 I can't go back, the unveiling of Christianity was too revealing for me to ever return. I never miss Christianity much. I may look back fondly on the security of this belief system but it was false security. What's that old American saying about handing in your freedom for security? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Not only would I not be able to (in the same sense as not being able to believe in the Easter Bunny again), but I would not have the slightest desire to go back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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