Marke Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 I wrote this for another site and I thought I would share it here: This is written so that you the gentle reader can understand atheists better. Mine is but one of literally thousands of deconversion stories, there are several here, I encourage you to read them all. I was raised by quite religious parents in a relatively small Christian sect known as “Church of Christâ€. My dad had a degree in theology from Harding University and was a preacher for some years from before I was born till I was a toddler. By the time I can remember he was driving truck to support the family as he had profound hearing loss from childhood that made some duties of a preacher very hard. I grew up being in church tree times a week plus bible studies. Six or more times a year my dad would be ask to preach in some small town that was without or between full time evangelists. Having been completely indoctrinated, I bought in whole hog and at the age of about eight was baptized into “Christâ€. Well the years past, and even after leaving home I continued on this path. So complete was my indoctrination that despite being of at least average intelligence I believed the world was 6000 years old, the earth was formed in 6 days and the world was saved by a man putting two of all species of animals into a boat. I find this profoundly embarrassed and ludicrous today but I share it to show there is hope for all to be released from delusional thinking no mater how thorough the indoctrination. More years past and I’m 34 and married, and never had had a serious doubt about the existence of God and all of a sudden things just are not adding up, well I know how to fix this! A quick review of apologetics and I’ll be as good as new. Wrong! For some reason this time around I could see that the theists where grasping at straws and had no real arguments of there own, just able to take pot shots at the other side. God did not die easy for me, I had one-on-one bible study with the local preacher for several weeks till finally he threw up his arms and said “there is nothing more I can sayâ€. For several years after that I called myself a wayward Christian with serious doubts. For years after that I called myself an agnostic. Only recently I have come to self identify as an atheist. I am the happiest I have ever been, I do good for goodness sake, not because I want to please a invisible superman that made everything but still somehow has time to watch me all day. Sincerely, Marke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eejay Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Good post Marke. It amazes me also that people who are supposed to have even a nominal amount of intelligence are able to buy into this story without question. I wnet through many of years of searching through various religions at an attempt to find a fit, but the questions kept looming. It was diffucult to accept the fact that I could no longer believe that god (at least, the x-tian god we were taught about) did not exist. Finally accepting the word athiest, though sometimes hard to say at first, does have a very liberating way of changing your life. I know that the healing for me is progressing well, and I would never return to the x-tian faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Genesis Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Hi, Marke, welcome to the site. My deconversion wasn't exactly the same as yours, but I can see a lot of similarities, too. I also grew up in the Church Of Christ (my dad isn't a preacher, though he is a deacon). You remind me of how I just also suddenly started having similar doubts as to how nonsensical it all was. It just didn't make sense and still doesn't to me why there were so many different denoms which all claimed the opposing churches beliefs were nonsense, and some of the COC's doctrines used to make sense but now seem so embarrassing, like their banning on worshiping with musical instruments and their insistence that they are the descendants of the one true church from the day of the Pentecost even though the COC didn't start until the 19th century in America. One good thing I'll give the COC credit for is teaching me to think critically about other people's religions because I was always taught about the ridiculousness of other Christian denoms, but they probably never thought we would use their same criticizing tactics against themselves. I admire your courage for confronting your preacher about the ridiculousness of the bible. That's something I'm still unable to do as I'm still living with my family and can't risk coming out yet, but I hope to have your courage one day to be honest about what I believe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marke Posted March 10, 2008 Author Share Posted March 10, 2008 Hi, Marke, welcome to the site. My deconversion wasn't exactly the same as yours, but I can see a lot of similarities, too. I also grew up in the Church Of Christ (my dad isn't a preacher, though he is a deacon). You remind me of how I just also suddenly started having similar doubts as to how nonsensical it all was. It just didn't make sense and still doesn't to me why there were so many different denoms which all claimed the opposing churches beliefs were nonsense, and some of the COC's doctrines used to make sense but now seem so embarrassing, like their banning on worshiping with musical instruments and their insistence that they are the descendants of the one true church from the day of the Pentecost even though the COC didn't start until the 19th century in America. One good thing I'll give the COC credit for is teaching me to think critically about other people's religions because I was always taught about the ridiculousness of other Christian denoms, but they probably never thought we would use their same criticizing tactics against themselves. I admire your courage for confronting your preacher about the ridiculousness of the bible. That's something I'm still unable to do as I'm still living with my family and can't risk coming out yet, but I hope to have your courage one day to be honest about what I believe. thanx for the welcome Neon, good to know someone with a similar background. By no means come out till you are independent of your folks, I have seen several young people "cut off" "for your own good". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Marke, I'm glad your preacher was honest enough with you to admit not having answers. That liberated you from thinking there's something inherently wrong with you--at least, that is what I am assuming. Maybe I'm making wrong assumptions. I also identify with your feeling of release at liberation from god belief. I so love consistent theories that hang together and I feel deeply saddened that intelligent people spend their entire lives holding onto a theology with lose ends rather than letting go of god because it does not hang together. I'm glad to see one more person getting out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marke Posted March 10, 2008 Author Share Posted March 10, 2008 Marke, I'm glad your preacher was honest enough with you to admit not having answers. That liberated you from thinking there's something inherently wrong with you--at least, that is what I am assuming. Maybe I'm making wrong assumptions. I also identify with your feeling of release at liberation from god belief. I so love consistent theories that hang together and I feel deeply saddened that intelligent people spend their entire lives holding onto a theology with lose ends rather than letting go of god because it does not hang together. I'm glad to see one more person getting out. unfortunately my deconversion was harder on me than the op implies. Some people have an epiphany and go from believer to non-believer in a day or a week. I probably spent a year as a believer with grievous doubts, then several years self identifying as an agnostic and only in the past few years have I admitted to myself and others I am a full blown ATHIEST! As far as the preacher admitting to not having answers that was because I wore him down, at that point I really wanted to believe and would meet with him for an hour each week to go over things. After several weeks of "well what about...." he gave up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Welcome Marke. Deconversion isn't easy. No one flips a switch and voila, you're a non-believer. It takes time, thought, and support from the good folks here to answer questions that are bound to arise. Use the resources here and elsewhere, and never stop questioning. Again, welcome to the boards. --Larry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archangel Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 I'm amazed that a pastor even took the time to sit down and talk with you about your battle with unbelief. Was he actively trying to "win you back" or just answering all your bible questions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marke Posted March 22, 2008 Author Share Posted March 22, 2008 I'm amazed that a pastor even took the time to sit down and talk with you about your battle with unbelief. Was he actively trying to "win you back" or just answering all your bible questions? A, several things where involved, one, I had been active enough in the church that I could not just slip out unnoticed, and two, yes he was actively trying to "win me back". The funny thing is and I said this to the preacher, bible belief is like a cable sweater, find one lose end and pull and it all starts coming apart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pitchu Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 bible belief is like a cable sweater, find one lose end and pull and it all starts coming apart. Great way to put it. Welcome, Marke. Thoughtful observations like yours are always an asset to these forums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marke Posted March 23, 2008 Author Share Posted March 23, 2008 bible belief is like a cable sweater, find one lose end and pull and it all starts coming apart. Great way to put it. Welcome, Marke. Thoughtful observations like yours are always an asset to these forums. Thanx Pitchu, I am enjoying my time here. I know I am not super active here but I am getting to know the players by reading a lot more than I type. My first atheist forum was/is WWGHA, it is still up but it is slowly dieing as the owner has lost interest and the admin is AWOL. Still some good discussions over there. I like this forum in that a recovering xtian has different issues than a "never believed" atheist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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