Artiss Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Today we received an oh so precious gift from my husband's uncle. It arrives in the form of a fake 1,000,000 dollar bill (classy). This is written on the back: The million-dollar question : Will you go to Heaven? Here's a quick test. Have you ever told a lie, stolen anything, or used God's name in vain? Jesus said, "Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Have you looked with lust? Will you be guilty on Judgement Day? If you have done those things, God sees you as a lying, thieving, blasphemous, adulterer-at-heart. The bible warns if you are guilty you will end up in Hell. That's not God's will. He sent His Son to suffer and die on the cross for you. Jesus took your punishment upon himself : "God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." Then he arose from the dead and defeated death. Please, repent (turn from sin) today and trust in Jesus, and God will grant you everlasting life. Then read your Bible daily and obey it. (www.livingwaters.com) So yeah, wonder what he's trying to say. I'm sure his grandparents told him to bring it over here hoping it would put a little healthy fear of God into us. Anyone else had similar hellfire warnings given to them...and if so, how did you respond? Gracefully, or did you take offense? I do know I AM offended at the implication, but not sure if it's really worth voicing an opinion and starting a holy war with my in laws. Seems like they would try to charm you more...God really comes off as an asshole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Artiss when I read that I laughed. It had absolutely no power over me except to make me laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vendredie Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Oh my God, it is a small world. When I was in line to see Barack Obama in VA Beach some guy handed me the fake $1 million bill... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The-Captain Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 How subtle I still get Chick Tracts in my school mailbox from some of my Christian Studies "friends". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artiss Posted March 9, 2008 Author Share Posted March 9, 2008 Artiss when I read that I laughed. It had absolutely no power over me except to make me laugh. I read it aloud and we laughed too. My fav part is "Then he arose from the dead and defeated death". So matter-of-fact like. I have this idea in my head of jesus hurling the stone away from the cave, stepping out and saying "I'll be back". Then he lifts one arm in the air like Superman and ascends to Krypton. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 So yeah, wonder what he's trying to say. I'm sure his grandparents told him to bring it over here hoping it would put a little healthy fear of God into us. Anyone else had similar hellfire warnings given to them...and if so, how did you respond? Gracefully, or did you take offense? I do know I AM offended at the implication, but not sure if it's really worth voicing an opinion and starting a holy war with my in laws. I'm sure you're right about the message you were supposed to get. Whether or not you start a holy war depends on whether or not you want one.... I read further down that you decided to laugh it off. Lots better for relationships in the short run I'm sure. You can always declare the war later if you change your mind. Calling off the war is what's difficult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Artiss, I know what they're trying to tell you. It's that their religion is just as fake as the fake $1,000,000 bill it came on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vendredie Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 hmmm. I wonder what would happen if a bunch of atheists started handing around fake money to spread the word of atheism? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PandaPirate Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 What's so sad about the whole thing as that they have to use money to get people's attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonolithTMA Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Artiss, I know what they're trying to tell you. It's that their religion is just as fake as the fake $1,000,000 bill it came on. Damn! Cold, but true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonolithTMA Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Today we received an oh so precious gift from my husband's uncle. It arrives in the form of a fake 1,000,000 dollar bill (classy). This is written on the back: Back when I was totally on fire for God and his word, I was also a dining room attendant at Old Country Buffet. We used to get the fake 5, 10, or 20 dollar bills, I can't remember what the exact denomination was. These folks never left a real tip. The money tracts were folded, they could have put a few bucks in there and it would have made it a whole lot more palatable. The really funny and twisted thing was that they were totally preaching to the choir, and dissing a fellow Christian by not tipping me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eejay Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Artiss, I know what they're trying to tell you. It's that their religion is just as fake as the fake $1,000,000 bill it came on. I'll remember to tell whomever tries to hand me the fake bill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skiergirl24 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 LMFAO hysterical. I would send him a pile of dog shit in return. www.mailpoop.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Artiss I fooled around with it a little. Check this out. Will you enter into bliss? This will tell you. Have you ever told a lie, stolen anything, or spoken the name of our sacred projection inappropriately? Our sacred teacher says, “If you have natural desires which you can’t completely control then you are guilty.†Do you have natural desires which you can’t completely control? Will you soon be found guilty? If you have done those things then the sacred projection of ourselves sees you as utterly despicable. Our sacred text warns if you are guilty you will be tortured for eternity. The sacred projection of ourselves doesn’t want that. He sent the sacred teacher to be tortured for you. The sacred teacher took your punishment upon himself: “The sacred projection of ourselves so loved the world that he gave the sacred teacher, that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have life forever.†Then he conquered death. Please, confess and turn today and trust in the sacred teacher, and the sacred projection of ourselves will give you life forever. Then read our sacred text daily and obey it. You want to be happy? Then obey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Today we received an oh so precious gift from my husband's uncle. It arrives in the form of a fake 1,000,000 dollar bill (classy). This is written on the back: The million-dollar question : Will you go to Heaven? Here's a quick test. Have you ever told a lie, stolen anything, or used God's name in vain? Jesus said, "Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Have you looked with lust? Will you be guilty on Judgement Day? If you have done those things, God sees you as a lying, thieving, blasphemous, adulterer-at-heart. So if the money is fake then your uncle told a lie. He's a liar. You thought you were getting $1 million but when you found out it was fake you said "God Damnit!" and now you've used god's name in vain. Your uncle has now caused two people to be condemned in this one act. How horrible. It seems each time anyone sends these fake bills out they are lying. Possibly even thieves since you are being robbed of the money you thought you had. And it's making good people into blasphemers. What a nasty trick. It seems your uncle owes you some money to make this right. And you may as well do all those things you've thought about since thinking is as bad as doing. mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 What's so sad about the whole thing as that they have to use money to get people's attention. They want to trade your real money (in tithing) for their fake $1,000,000 bills. Here's an idea. Bring that fake bill to Church and put it in the collection box, and say "I'm giving back to God, what God gave me." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Here's an idea. Bring that fake bill to Church and put it in the collection box, and say "I'm giving back to God, what God gave me." Hans, I think that is an excellent idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eejay Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 What's so sad about the whole thing as that they have to use money to get people's attention. They want to trade your real money (in tithing) for their fake $1,000,000 bills. Here's an idea. Bring that fake bill to Church and put it in the collection box, and say "I'm giving back to God, what God gave me." Hahahaha! That's great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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