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Goodbye Jesus

You're Kidding Me... Right?


webmdave

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It invariably comes as a bit of a shock to our Christian visitors when their words of wisdom are accorded a less-than-civil reception.

 

Sometimes a zealous teenager swings by to warn us that we'd better straighten up and fly right, lest we be seized by demons and dragged off to an eternal all-expenses-paid vacation in a Very Hot Place.

 

Or we're set upon by a gushy but seemingly well-meaning woman who assures us that we just practiced the wrong *version* of Christianity, and please keep looking for the True Churchâ„¢ (Oh, and by the way, it's a ree-lay-shun-ship, not a religion).

 

Another fairly common theme is the man who sees "miracles" in everything, and honestly believes that his unverifiable personal testimony is sufficient to convince total strangers over the Internet.

 

And then there are folks who:

  • Think that wars, earthquakes and other common calamities are proof of "End Times";
  • Can't or won't imagine a non-supernatural explanation for Life, the Universe and Everything;
  • Classify all non-believers with a handful of the many 20th Century tyrants but distance themselves from the likes of Constantine, Torquemada, various not-so-Innocent popes, Charlemagne, Olaf Tryggvason, Columbus, the Puritans, Cromwell, Catherine de Medici, John Calvin, Richard the Lion-Hearted... Pinochet, Franco, Charles Taylor, Jim Jones... and the countless co-religionists who enabled their barbarism;
  • Don't know what the word "theory" actually means in a scientific context, but insist that an ancient book contains The Truth;
  • Insist that the spilling of one particular individual's blood somehow "purifies" people, but only if those people agree that the spilt blood is a wonderful gift that they don't actually deserve;
  • Or are obsessed with bananas.

Okay, listen up, all of you.

 

We. Do. Not. Want. To. Be. Like. You.

 

You are not the droids we're looking for. You are not exhibiting traits that we want to emulate. Rather, you personify many damaging behaviours and beliefs that we've already discarded.

 

We are EX-Christians. Any faith we may have once possessed is not merely tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk... It is bereft of life, and pushing up the daisies. Yea verily, what part of "EX" dost thou not understand?

 

http://exchristian.net/exchristian/2008/03...g-me-right.html

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Okay, listen up, all of you.

 

We. Do. Not. Want. To. Be. Like. You.

 

You are not the droids we're looking for. You are not exhibiting traits that we want to emulate. Rather, you personify many damaging behaviours and beliefs that we've already discarded.

 

We are EX-Christians. Any faith we may have once possessed is not merely tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk... It is bereft of life, and pushing up the daisies. Yea verily, what part of "EX" dost thou not understand?

 

http://exchristian.net/exchristian/2008/03...g-me-right.html

 

Hell yea! Sign me up for another hitch! We should have our own flag! :goodjob: That post was particularly motivating for me!

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Excellent rant, Dave, esp. the last bit: Verily, what part of Ex dost thou not understand?

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Awesome! I think you just vented for quite a few of us. Thanks!

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  • Super Moderator

Excellent, just excellent!

 

PTFL!

 

- Chris

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Bravo! Click the picture for the applause.

applause.gif

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*Cheers*

 

:woohoo:

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"You are not the droids we're looking for."

 

Bwahahahahahahaha! :lmao:

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Wonderful. Simply wonderful!

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:clap:
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(At the risk of being ironic) :jesus: :jesus: :jesus: :jesus: :jesus: :jesus: Amen, Dave! Amen!

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Is Jesus doing the Macarena? ;)

 

jesus.gif

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We. Do. Not. Want. To. Be. Like. You.

 

You are not the droids we're looking for. You are not exhibiting traits that we want to emulate. Rather, you personify many damaging behaviours and beliefs that we've already discarded.

 

Yes, I am definetly at home on this site :)

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RA-men! Preach it, brother! Glory! :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

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rant.gif

 

 

 

kFL

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I'd expect no less from our resident Valkyrie. Well said, Astreja. :grin:

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(curtsies) Takk fyrir, everyone!

 

And it's been pinned, too! Way cool.

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Great Post Sir! Thank you! :grin:

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Guest rangergirl

YEA! Great post! I especially like the reference to the quote "it's a relationship, not a religion". god, I hate that line...

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Well put!

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Glory!

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As the surfers say, "Totally bitchin' dude!"

 

;)

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  • 3 weeks later...

I'm just seeing this thread for the first time, but wanted to add my "amen!" (or should that be "Hell yeah!)?

 

You're preaching to the choir (I sing bass/baritone) on this one.

 

On one of my posts the other day on the Dawkins message boards, I mentioned that the problem isn't just religion, it's people who claim relationships with that invisible sky king just looking to dole out his favor or punishment.

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"You are not the droids we're looking for."

 

Bwahahahahahahaha! :lmao:

 

 

>>>> You can go about your business.... move along now move along now *storm trooper makes shooing motion with hand*.

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