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Goodbye Jesus

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Trev

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Hi everyone, long time lurker first time poster here. I'm Trev, almost 30, Sydney, Australia. I want to tell my story or I should say the parts of my story that are mine and mine alone. There is a lot I could say about the faults in Christain theology too but everything I wanted to say has already been said I think.

 

I was bought up in a semi-Christian household - my mum's a Christian and my dad isn't. No wonder he's an alcoholic now. I'd have left a loooong time ago. I wouldn't have held it against him if he did either, for all his faults he must have some character somewhere.

 

I have been out of the church about five years.

 

I was described recently as a 'profound non-conformist' and a 'deep lateral thinker' who was and continues to be 'other' to most of the things I have come across. That's me down to a tee. I managed to be a freak at school - I have a reasonably high IQ, the usual prime candidate for a Christian youth group I attended a lot of the way through high school. I was a freak there too. Actually no that's not that surprising at all I was a freak at both because I went to a fundamentalist Christian school. I never made a single friend at either, but I did have two Christian girlfriends in my early 20s who both dumped me with (what I think is the lame) 'this isn't the will of God' reasoning. You know what, that hurt . . . a lot.

 

I have always been aware of many 'perverted', 'sinful' and 'shameful' sexual attractions and am now out as a bisexual - I guess that only makes me half evil right? lol. As well as having gender orientation issues that eventually led me to being diagnosed with gender identity disorder (or whatever they're calling it now) a few years ago, basically the first step in having a gender reassignment and becoming a woman if I wanted to pursue that line of reasoning. Not having $10,000 for a boob job at that time in my life had a bigger impact than I knew at the time: I have since realised that, for me, becoming a woman would be exchanging one one-dimensional dichotomy for another, and that I have an opportunity to develop my own gender independent of whatever my body looks like. Look up the term intergender google and/or wikipedia for further reading if you so desire.

 

You know what though, I don't regret giving Christianity a red hot go. It's made me a lot wiser and a lot more aware in some ways. To some degree it's pointed me down the path my life is taking on now. It helped me realise I can have a code of ethics that is mine and mine alone (and as a subtext that that isn't excuse for treating people badly or not having any ethics at all). It helped my ability to look at things and be able to verbalise 'that isn't going to fit in with who I am and the stage I am at' - be that a job, girlfriend boyfriend, etc. That I don't have to conform to the expectations of others. And that even though Christianity is not my thing, it is a good fit for some people socially and relationally (but maybe not theologically? lol).

 

Thanks for listening to my story, anyway.

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Trev, thank you and welcome.

 

Edit: I didn't say enough I think. I agree with you, and I can think of no reason why you must conform to others expectations. I wish that you had come earlier. We had a person here who went by the name Kelli. She left. But I suspect if you had been here Trev you guys would have gotten along famously.

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Trev, Welcome!

 

Thanks for posting your testimony!

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Guest eejay

One of the things that is most noticeable when leaving the x-tian mentality, is that there is a lot less judging of people for issues which are beyond their control. A x-tian will tell you that you have to ask god's mercy to be healed from satan's attack on your body. People here are smart enough to see beyond that and understand that there are issues with genetics, that are being more and more understood these days. I don't think a person has any more choice about orientation/gender issues that they do the color of their hair. I wish x-tians would just drop it. All this love they claim they have for others....bullshit. Once a person becomes to drop the superstitions and taboos that come with x-tianity, it really does make you shed a new light that people, are just people, as different as snowflakes, when you look at them closer. Take care. And don't let anyone make you feel like lesser of a person.

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It takes courage & wisdom to do what you have done & make the acknowledgements that you have made. To 'know thyself' in today's society is difficult at best. Many blessings to you as you go through your de-converting process.

Elana

 

 

 

Welcome Trev!

 

 

Hi everyone, long time lurker first time poster here. I'm Trev, almost 30, Sydney, Australia. I want to tell my story or I should say the parts of my story that are mine and mine alone. There is a lot I could say about the faults in Christain theology too but everything I wanted to say has already been said I think.

 

I was bought up in a semi-Christian household - my mum's a Christian and my dad isn't. No wonder he's an alcoholic now. I'd have left a loooong time ago. I wouldn't have held it against him if he did either, for all his faults he must have some character somewhere.

 

I have been out of the church about five years.

 

I was described recently as a 'profound non-conformist' and a 'deep lateral thinker' who was and continues to be 'other' to most of the things I have come across. That's me down to a tee. I managed to be a freak at school - I have a reasonably high IQ, the usual prime candidate for a Christian youth group I attended a lot of the way through high school. I was a freak there too. Actually no that's not that surprising at all I was a freak at both because I went to a fundamentalist Christian school. I never made a single friend at either, but I did have two Christian girlfriends in my early 20s who both dumped me with (what I think is the lame) 'this isn't the will of God' reasoning. You know what, that hurt . . . a lot.

 

I have always been aware of many 'perverted', 'sinful' and 'shameful' sexual attractions and am now out as a bisexual - I guess that only makes me half evil right? lol. As well as having gender orientation issues that eventually led me to being diagnosed with gender identity disorder (or whatever they're calling it now) a few years ago, basically the first step in having a gender reassignment and becoming a woman if I wanted to pursue that line of reasoning. Not having $10,000 for a boob job at that time in my life had a bigger impact than I knew at the time: I have since realised that, for me, becoming a woman would be exchanging one one-dimensional dichotomy for another, and that I have an opportunity to develop my own gender independent of whatever my body looks like. Look up the term intergender google and/or wikipedia for further reading if you so desire.

 

You know what though, I don't regret giving Christianity a red hot go. It's made me a lot wiser and a lot more aware in some ways. To some degree it's pointed me down the path my life is taking on now. It helped me realise I can have a code of ethics that is mine and mine alone (and as a subtext that that isn't excuse for treating people badly or not having any ethics at all). It helped my ability to look at things and be able to verbalise 'that isn't going to fit in with who I am and the stage I am at' - be that a job, girlfriend boyfriend, etc. That I don't have to conform to the expectations of others. And that even though Christianity is not my thing, it is a good fit for some people socially and relationally (but maybe not theologically? lol).

 

Thanks for listening to my story, anyway.

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Welcome!

 

Thanks for your test. look forward to reading more from you!

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Welcome Trev. Look forward to hearing from you. Lots of info here, so feel free to ask away.

One thing I might add since you mentioned it. Alcoholism is a disease, not a character flaw. I'm a recovering alcoholic. All the AA and concerned family in the world couldn't help me. It took a doc telling me drinking would kill me....soon. Been dry several years now, but my mouth still waters at the site of a big gin and tonic.

Gay, Bi, Transgendered, we don't label and we embrace all.

Again, welcome.

 

Edited 'cause I dunt spel so gud.

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Welcome to the world of rationality! Glad you stopped by, and thanks for your story. Feel free to be yourself.

 

- Chris

 

(I was wondering whatever happened to Kelli when I saw Legion's mention of her. Miss her humor.)

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It takes courage & wisdom to do what you have done & make the acknowledgements that you have made. To 'know thyself' in today's society is difficult at best. Many blessings to you as you go through your de-converting process.

Elana

 

Thank you, it is indeed

 

One thing I might add since you mentioned it. Alcoholism is a disease, not a character flaw.

 

Yes, it is indeed. My dad has no had an easy life either.

 

I'm a recovering alcoholic. All the AA and concerned family in the world couldn't help me. It took a doc telling me drinking would kill me....soon.

 

I am not sold on the twelve step processes in general. I have been on the fringes of a few at various points, and it just seems exactly the same as Christianity to me, in terms of culture and process.

 

Been dry several years now, but my mouth still waters at the site of a big gin and tonic.

 

Congratulations :)

 

Gay, Bi, Transgendered, we don't label and we embrace all.

Again, welcome.

 

It's always good to know freaks like me are welcome lol

 

Edited 'cause I dunt spel so gud.

 

lol

 

and thanks again everyone for the warm elcome :)

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... I have since realised that, for me, becoming a woman would be exchanging one one-dimensional dichotomy for another, and that I have an opportunity to develop my own gender independent of whatever my body looks like...

 

Hey Welcome!

 

This is a fabulous observation and I hope we hear more from you. I'm familiar with many TGs, and no matter what road you choose, it's a tough one that takes a lot of thought and careful love for yourself. A certain amount of gentle acceptance of where you are at right now is an invaluable asset, and you have it in spades.

 

I wish you well on this very star-crossed and hopefully happy journey. :)

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A certain amount of gentle acceptance of where you are at right now is an invaluable asset, and you have it in spades.

 

Thanks I'm glad that shows :)

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