Stupid Things That Christians Say

[Apostate called Jimmy]

 

i dont like the way that if i say God is cruel for sending people to hell, etc (wouldnt that be obvious??), they say that our little finite minds can't understand God's ways. yet that doesnt seem to apply when talking about God's nicere attributes, like love and mercy. how can our little finite minds understand love but not cruelty? one day it will all be explained, they say. but if God explained to me one day, why sending people to eternal torture is not, in fact, cruel, i still could not accept it. my little finite mind can tell what is cruel and what is not.

 

also i hate it how they say the reason for all the horrible things in the world is that God wanted us to have free will to love him from choice. are all the horrible things in the world, and hell, worth it so humans can have free will (meaningless concept anyway)? i say, if thats the only way God could create, it would be better not to create at all. if a human came up with such a system we would think it was a stupid, terrible idea in the first place.

 

btw, it nowhere says in the bible that the wish for humans to love him from free will was the reason God did it.

 

which brings me to another stupid thing, which is the way they say anything at all they feel necessary to justify God, as if its gospel truth, whereas its pure speculation, silly excuses, not even based on the bible, just parotting what others say.

 

not to mention the stupid embarassing things that are said and done by pentecostals.

 

funnily enough i dont have any problem with miraqckes. i think that if God exists he would be able to do miracles, of course. thatt what Gods do, dont they? that might be stupid of me to say. but i dont think its stupid to believe in the bible if one in fact thinks the bible is written by God. it'd be silly not to take notice of the bible if one thought it was written by God. but they say things which are not even in the bible. it might be stupid to believe in the bible, i dont know, but at least they should be logical about it, haha.

 

 

 

My dad always says that"God never sends anyone to hell. You choose to go to hell by not accepting Christ." To me, that's like the same as walking up to someone and say "I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 1,000. What is it?" So then the person takes a guess and of course it's not the correct number so then you pull out a gun and shoot them in the head. When later asked why you murdered this person you reply "Oh, I didn't kill him. He chose to die by not choosing the correct number".

 

And as for the whole "free will" horseshit, I'm willing to bet that the majority of christians never had a say in the matter. I know I didn't. Being told what to believe is not free will. Being brainwashed is not free will. I never chose christianity, it was forced upon at a young age. If my parents were muslim I would have spent my life praising Allah because that's how I would've been raised. And if God really wanted us to have free will, then why all the threats of eternal hellfire? "Worship me or perish" is not free will. It's an ultimatum.

[MonolithTMA]

Oh, a new one.

 

"Vendredie, you have got to snap out of this phase before it's too late."

 

...?!

 

My beliefs are a PHASE now?!

 

 

I love joking with people who have been cool about my de-conversion that I might get hit by a bus and go to hell! Oh noes!

 

A bunch of people have asked me "what if <random potentially deadly scenario> occurred, and you died? Where would you go?" Uhhh.... my body would go to science. I'm 16, anyway. Who asks 16 year olds questions like this!?

 

They will ask you anything to try and convict you so you'll come back to Jesus. Probably even if you were 8.

[Purple]

I love the order of this board right now, or probably right before I posted this anyway.....

 

"We don't exist?"

 

 

"Stupid things Christians say."

 

Hahahahaha

[Trev]

I have a few more:

 

'When you come to the end of yourself you come to the start of God'.

 

'You should invite your friends to church, they need Jesus'.

 

'God wants you to be successful, and by successful I mean rich'.

[Telesmith]

"If there were no God there would be no atheists."

 

"Atheists are cowards. They just don't want to be accountable."

 

Anyone ever hear of a "Holy Ghost drive by" or how about "sword drills"?

 

"Black holes are the gateways to heaven."

 

"God can kill all those people in the OT because he is God and knew their hearts."

 

"I release the spirit of bad singing off of you in the name of Jesus!"

 

"The less you sin the less Jesus has to suffer for you."

 

"God bless the devil for making my faith increase."

 

...and so many more.

[Trev]

"If there were no God there would be no atheists."

 

"Atheists are cowards. They just don't want to be accountable."

 

completely peeing myself laughing. I have more of a sense of personal responsibility than I ever did when I'm a Christian, and no longer feel guilty about things I can't control

[MonolithTMA]

Bob Larson - "An Agnostic is just a wimpy Atheist."

[Telesmith]

Trev-

 

And, the real kicker is "if there were no God there would be no atheists" was coined by none other than the famed G.K Chesterton. I still like some of his stuff but his apologetics seem to have been the antecedent for Alister McGrath's style: make you opponent so dizzy he falls down by saying as many stupid things as possible within the shortest time possible.

[Trev]

his apologetics seem to have been the antecedent for Alister McGrath's style: make you opponent so dizzy he falls down by saying as many stupid things as possible within the shortest time possible.

 

 

oh how that reminds me of when I was a Christian! :cringe:

[Apostate called Jimmy]

My father said this one recently about evolution:

 

"I didn't come from no monkey, and I didn't come from no bug!"

 

Well, gee dad, if you'd actually take the time to learn anything, even just a little bit, about evolution you would realize what a retarded-ass statement that was. NO ONE in the history of the FUCKING UNIVERSE has ever suggested that we "come from bugs". God, I hate how they will quickly dismiss evolution when they don't even know anything about it.

[Telesmith]

Yeah, but when learning about it means entertaining the possibility of being wrong it's preferable to just stand back and scoff. It's the price one pays for ordering their lives around an ancient book of myths.

[elana]

This one is a "gooder" A local priest to a 6-year old girl who's older brother has just committed suicide: "I'm sorry young lady, your brother has committed one of the unpardonable sins. I'm afraid he has gone to hell." Sooooo unbelievable but unfortunately, all true. In fact, I know this little girl as she was in one my Children's church classes when I was still 'believen'.

 

Elana

[MonolithTMA]

A local priest to a 6-year old girl who's older brother has just committed suicide: "I'm sorry young lady, your brother has committed one of the unpardonable sins. I'm afraid he has gone to hell."

 

If hell exists that priest had better go there.

[L.B.]

"Even a physicist, no matter how smart he is, is a FOOL if he doesn't know Christ as his savior."

(direct quote from a pastor whose unbelieving son is, lol, a physicist)

 

"It takes more faith to believe in evolution than it does to believe in God"

(meaning, of course, the fundy's stunted definition of "evolution" and his narrow definition of "God")

 

"You have a problem you just don't understand? Just keep trustin' the Lord... trust in the Lord with all yer heart and lean not to yer own unnerstannin'..."

(in other words, preacher ain't got a fucking clue how to practically advise you right now)

 

"I could go out and kill 20 people right now, on purpose, and still be saved and never lose my salvation"

(even my so-called 'unsaved' friends don't talk lightly about things like murder!)

 

Oh, and this gem: I once confronted a pastor because one of his volunteers was gossiping about me... he refused to follow the Biblical rule about demanding that she speak to me face-to-face about her issue with me. He told me, "you can't expect people to take things as literally and seriously as you do; they're only human". THEN, the NEXT DAY, he gets up to the pulpit and preaches a message that says "WE SHOULD NEVER TELL GOD WE DIDN'T OBEY HIS WORD BECAUSE WE'RE ONLY HUMAN! 'ONLY HUMAN' WON'T WORK AS AN EXCUSE WITH THE LORD!"

 

Oh, have I mentioned, fuck them in their power-hungry little fiefdoms they rule over?

[Gobbler]

"I could go out and kill 20 people right now, on purpose, and still be saved and never lose my salvation"

(even my so-called 'unsaved' friends don't talk lightly about things like murder!)

 

Do christians really think about what they are saying? If this so-called christian went out and killed twenty people think about how many other family and friends of the victim they are affecting by their so-called freewill! You not only physically kill the victim you also in many instances psychologically and emotionally kill their family, relatives, and friends. Which could lead to suicides so their kill rate would go up. What if those persons were "unsaved"? Then by their definition they would go to hell even though they were killed by a "christian"! How insane is this thinking! "Well la de da I can kill a bunch of people and still go to heaven! Thank you jesus for your salvation!" That belief just goes to show them how fucked up their religion really is! Yet they won't admit it! Stupid fuck! I hope you said something to this person. I think I would have wanted to put the beat down on this pusnut! Maybe you could have said, "You know, I was thinking the same thing. How about I start with you!"

[Guest rangergirl]

i used to work at the Grand Canyon, which is a hot spot for fundies because they think they can prove that "the flood" happened there. anyways, i gave an evening program about the full moon to a couple hundred people on the rim of the canyon. in the program i talked about how scientists aren't certain on how the moon was formed. after the program i overheard some people say "if that ranger had read up on her scriptures, she would know that GOD formed the moon".

 

that made me laugh! can you imagine a park ranger including that in a public program at the Grand Canyon?! and little did they know that i DO know my scriptures--and i don't remember genesis giving scientific details on how the moon was formed!

[Apostate called Jimmy]

Here's another one from my old man. He said this just a few minutes ago talking about fossil fuels(he doesn't believe in fossil fuels):

 

"What, did all the dinosaurs just die and pile up in saudi arabia? People are so stupid"

 

In case you are wondering, no he isn't joking. You should really just sit and listen to this man just go on and on about shit he knows nothing about. He's so fucking arrogant and thinks he knows better than everyone else including experts. Everyone who doesn't share his warped take on reality are "sheeple". Here are some other things that will get you labeled as a sheeple by him and are not limited to: Accepting evolution, accepting global warming, accepting the earth is older than 6,000 years old, accepting gays as fellow human beings, voting democrat, being liberal, etc. etc. Yet he believes, no not just believes, he KNOWS, that the bible is 100% literally the truth and such historical events like the Flood, the virgin birth, the first man being made of dirt, and a guy killing a lion with his bare hands but lost his super strength when his hair was cut off, actually happened. And yet he has the fucking audacity to call everyone else "sheeple" and stupid. Sorry about the long-winded rant but this man infuriates me to no end.

[Scarlett]

Probably the most stupid thing I have heard a Christian say when I ask them to provide evidence for their god is that god only shows evidence to people who first have faith in him.

[Amethyst]

Said by co-worker when another co-worker mentioned an atheist gathering in Minneapolis this weekend: "Atheists can party all they want to, they have no morals."

 

 

I shouldn't have thought that this company would be any different from any other Minnesota company, but usually younger people are more open-minded. I really wanted to say something to the effect of "yeah, and it's really moral to torture people forever" but I was in a group with a bunch of co-workers and it wasn't the time or place.

[MonolithTMA]

Probably the most stupid thing I have heard a Christian say when I ask them to provide evidence for their god is that god only shows evidence to people who first have faith in him.

 

That is the argument that has been used for "proving" that I wasn't a real Christian.

 

This is from a recent discussion:

 

...perhaps God didn't speak to you because in reality you didnt [sic] even acknowledge His existence. Why should the Almighty reveal Himself to a fallen human who defies his very existense [sic] (beyond what He has already graciously revealed in His word and Christ?)

 

The fact is I did have faith, and immense faith it was, a faith that had me prostrate at the foot of the cross daily thanking Jesus for his sacrifice.

 

Since my de-conversion I've actually had my old prayer life called vain works.

[godlessgrrl]

"I could go out and kill 20 people right now, on purpose, and still be saved and never lose my salvation"

 

I find this statement particularly ironic when placed next to the statement: "Atheists just don't want to be accountable."

[Grandpa Harley]

"There has to be a god because humans are the most advanced creatures on the planet"

 

With due respect, we've had our moments, but really; looking at Las Vegas one does ponder just how 'advanced' we really are...

[Guest Noodle]

Said in support of creationism :

 

"How do we know God created birds to be birds? Because it says so in the Bible."

 

That's it? That's the entire extent of your argument?!

 

(I don't know what it is particularly about creationism that annoys me so much. The wilful stupidity of it? The sheer breathless inanity of the arguments in favour of it?)

[Guest rangergirl]

Said in support of creationism :

 

"How do we know God created birds to be birds? Because it says so in the Bible."

 

That's it? That's the entire extent of your argument?!

 

(I don't know what it is particularly about creationism that annoys me so much. The wilful stupidity of it? The sheer breathless inanity of the arguments in favour of it?)

 

 

we could fill up this entire thread of "stupid things that christians say" with creationist statements! what annoys me the most is the arrogance in how they think. creationists think they know more than scientists, and they laugh at great scientific minds. in high school we had to watch a video of Carl Sagan and decide how we would try to convert him. i remember him talking about something scientific and people were mocking him. christian high schoolers mocking Carl Sagan. crazy!

[Apostate called Jimmy]

Said in support of creationism :

 

"How do we know God created birds to be birds? Because it says so in the Bible."

 

That's it? That's the entire extent of your argument?!

 

(I don't know what it is particularly about creationism that annoys me so much. The wilful stupidity of it? The sheer breathless inanity of the arguments in favour of it?)

 

 

we could fill up this entire thread of "stupid things that christians say" with creationist statements! what annoys me the most is the arrogance in how they think. creationists think they know more than scientists, and they laugh at great scientific minds. in high school we had to watch a video of Carl Sagan and decide how we would try to convert him. i remember him talking about something scientific and people were mocking him. christian high schoolers mocking Carl Sagan. crazy!

 

 

I could not agree with you more. It's not really their beliefs alone that bother me, it's the way they "know" their believes are true and so obviously true that anyone who doesn't accept their "self-evident truths" are either blind, deceived, or just plain stupid. Even when their beliefs not only contradict mountains of scientific evidence, but it just flies in the face of common sense and logic. If science was really as wrong and as incompetent as they like to think, we wouldn't have television, satellites, computers, modern medicine, etc, etc. Their arrogant know-it-all attitude is a slap in the face of every biologist, geologist, anthropologist, paleontologist, zoologist, and every other ologist who dedicate years of their life to study and research. Then some asshole with no more than a 10th grade level understanding of earth science comes along and pisses all over their hard work. No. It's not just a slap in the face. It's a kick in the groin. That is why creationism is one of my biggest pet peeves of all time.