mlr72 Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 Hi again, I haven't posted here, but in light of the cluster fuck of a holiday such as easter, I thought I'd come back here for some much needed support. Here are some of the stupidest things I've heard from xtians. Me: "Why did God create mankind in the first place?" xtian: "Because God wanted a family." Me: "If the universe is just 7,000 years old, how come it takes light from a star on the other side of the galaxy 100,000 years to reach our eyes?" xtian: "God said it. I believe it. That settles it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CelloChick Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 How about the "God shaped hole inside every human heart." Remember that line of crap? My best friend's Easter message at church was all about the longing for God. She tried a tiny big of using that line with me. Didn't get very far. I tried the Bible and church fellowship and singing and praying and small groups and all of that. It was like wearing someone else's skin. I just couldn't make it work, no matter how hard I tried. I think I may have shocked her, but she accepts me for me, so we're cool. CelloChick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knitterman Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 How about the "God shaped hole inside every human heart." cool. I just this morning read this in "The God Delusion" (Richard Dawkins) at the start of Chapter 10. Does religion fill a much needed gap? It is often said that there is a God-shaped gap in the brain which needs to be filled: we have a psychological need for God -- imaginary friend, father, big brother, confessor, confidant -- and the need has to be satisfied whether God really exists or not. But could it be that God clutters up a gap that we'd be better off filling with something else? Science, perhaps? Art? Human friendship? Humanism? Love of this life in the real world, giving no credence to other lives beyond the grave? a love of nature, or what the great entomologist E. O. Wilson has called Biophilia? I like that: filling that apparent (?) gap with something actually useful, either to ourselves or to others. The whole "god-shaped gap" idea begs the question: how does anyone know what shape god is, anyway? Sounds to me very similar to the notion of finding "meaning". Christians charge that non-believers have no "meaning" in our lives if we don't have their version of god filling up that space, as if "meaning" can only come from some external definition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 Whenever anyone tells me, "Jesus loves me", I say, "Well, maybe that's what you think, but it's not what he tells us." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Genesis Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 When I was debating with a xtian on youtube once, they told me this obnoxious phrase, "the bible tells us all the answers we need to know, science only tells us what we want to know." So, when I asked them why didn't the bible tell us what the cure for AIDs was if it really had all the answers we needed, their response was that it was people's own fault if they got AIDs from having premarital sex, because obviously premarital sex is the only way to get AIDs (I guess those people who have gotten AIDs from shared needles must be a figment of our imagination). I guess it's ok for God to allow people to suffer from an incurable disease as long as they're being punished for their fornicating ways, and I'd love to see that xtian go tell someone with AIDs that they don't need a cure for it, they just want one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eejay Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 When I was debating with a xtian on youtube once, they told me this obnoxious phrase, "the bible tells us all the answers we need to know, science only tells us what we want to know." So, when I asked them why didn't the bible tell us what the cure for AIDs was if it really had all the answers we needed, their response was that it was people's own fault if they got AIDs from having premarital sex, because obviously premarital sex is the only way to get AIDs (I guess those people who have gotten AIDs from shared needles must be a figment of our imagination). I guess it's ok for God to allow people to suffer from an incurable disease as long as they're being punished for their fornicating ways, and I'd love to see that xtian go tell someone with AIDs that they don't need a cure for it, they just want one. Yeah, that sort of thinking irritates me also. Don't these x-tians realize that STD's also happen in animals, who have no knowledge of the bible and are naturally promiscuous. Why are they being punished if they have no capablity of reading that stupid book. Like anything else including natural disasters, STD's are just something that happens as part of being alive on this earth, it is NOT a message from god, that someone is bad for doing what comes natural. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toxic Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 "AIDS is the wrath of God" "There's more historical evidence that Jesus existed then there is that Julius Ceaser existed" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 Yup... those are dumb things! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Genesis Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Tonight the preacher at my parents' church said this bullshit saying that the reason why it was needed for God to send Jesus to Earth was so that he could sympathize with us and so it would make it easier for us to boldly approach the Lord or some other such crap in order to justify the need for God to have a human sacrifice. Maybe if Jesus actually committed a sin, they might have a point, but even as a Christian, I was never able to relate to Jesus because he was always so perfect at everything he did. If he never did anything wrong, how was I, a mere, imperfect human being who was always in sin supposed to relate to him? In fact, being perfect made Jesus even more difficult to "approach" because I always felt like I was never good enough for him and that I was always worthless in his eyes. Xtians will point to Jesus taking on our sins at the cross as if that's supposed to mean something, but even with his crucifixion, everything was planned for Jesus to win from the start, so there was no real challenge. And the fact that the whole war between heaven and hell was rigged for Jesus to come out on top just makes it feel like Jesus cheated life, so I fail to see how Jesus ever faced any of the same challenges that we face when Jesus was going to win anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kozimoto Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 " The way for you to not be an atheist is, well, you need to come back to church" lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kozimoto Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 or another favourite circular logic I heard - Fundy: If you just read the bible, you would know that god is real and loves you, and wants to speak to you. Me: I read the bible cover to cover. It didn't impress me greatly for reasons (insert many here)... Fundy: (long pause) Well, it's b/c you don't have the holy spirit, the bible can't speak to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kozimoto Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Sorry to keep replying, but reading this thread has reminded me of so many laughs - how about the Benny Hinn/prosperity gospel special - "you can GIVE your way out of debt! " It makes me laugh, and it makes me really mad! (my in-laws gave away 34K. They now have no retirement fund, and surprise! surprise! they are still in debt) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 "If you truely were a Christian once then He has revealed Himself to you. If not, then you were just a member of a religion. No one knows the Father, but the Son and those whom He reveals the Father to." Our very own Kratos... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderer Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 A few of my favorites: "Christians aren't perfect - only saved!" (A general defense for Christians caught in sin - even powerful leaders who are supposedly "filled with the Holy Spirit.") "Lean not unto your own understanding." (A warning to Christians who still reason.) "Let go and let God!" (Another exhortation to stop thinking.) And my all-time favorite: "Confusion is not of the Lord." (A dismissive statement that ends all questioning. Since thinking leads to questioning, and questioning leads to more thinking, if the process isn't nipped in the bud the inevitable outcome is that the questioner eventually begins to discover that the church is rife with hypocrisy, and dwelling on this only leads to confusion, which is proof that the entire practice of thinking and questioning is inspired by Satan, since if it's "not of the Lord," it can only be "of the Devil." You gotta love it! Rob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 "Lean not unto your own understanding." (A warning to Christians who still reason.) Yeah Rob I think this one is particularly insidious. I think many Christians level this not only at each other but also those who do not believe. After all, aren't we here "leaning on our own understanding?" I think the Hindu prince Guatama Siddharta put it best... "Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 "Get thee behind me satan!" Said whenever you talk about why someone believes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Whenever someone says "what would jesus do?" I almost always add "..for a kondike bar?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderer Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 As for speaking in tongues has anyone ever seen this.....dueling tongues What a crock! I majored in theater in college. One of the improvisational theater exercises was called "Gibberish," and it's a technique used to give the creative - as opposed to the logical - part of the brain a workout. How it works is that two people either choose or have a subject chosen for them, and each one is secretly given a point of view to impart to the other, using only gibberish. It sometimes led to hilarious exchanges, exactly like the one on YouTube! Oh, and by the way, Gibberish is used commonly in film and TV for background "crowd noises" in party and mob scenes. I learned recently that this technique is not simply useful - it is required of the extras in those crowd scenes, because if the extras actually speak recognizable words or phrases, they have to be paid more money! The director will actually yell "cut!" if an extra does not "speak in tongues." Isn't that a riot? Imagine my surprise, the first time I visited a Pentecostal church service and the entire congregation was engaged in an improvisational theater routine! Rob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderer Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 "Lean not unto your own understanding." (A warning to Christians who still reason.) Yeah Rob I think this one is particularly insidious. I think many Christians level this not only at each other but also those who do not believe. After all, aren't we here "leaning on our own understanding?" I think the Hindu prince Guatama Siddharta put it best... "Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it." The irony of it all is that Christians who warn each other not to rely on their own ability to understand their religion still insist on using what passes for logic in explaining every incident and passage in the Bible. They expect ministers to go to college and get degrees in theology. What they really mean when they say "lean not unto your own understanding," is "lean unto our understanding." Rob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 What they really mean when they say "lean not unto your own understanding," is "lean unto our understanding." I mostly agree with this assessment Rob. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderer Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 How about blogging in tongues?http://tominthebox.blogspot.com/2008/02/bl...nteresting.html Shandalo fligit calomidy aga aga fordigo! Interpretation: Shandalo fligit calomidy aga aga fordigo! Rob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderer Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 What they really mean when they say "lean not unto your own understanding," is "lean unto our understanding." I mostly agree with this assessment Rob. Hi Legion. Your statement implies that you disagree with it to some extent. I'm interested in hearing your reasoning. Rob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 How about blogging in tongues?http://tominthebox.blogspot.com/2008/02/bl...nteresting.html Shandalo fligit calomidy aga aga fordigo! Interpretation: Shandalo fligit calomidy aga aga fordigo! Rob "skdit bhwosidth sdkh ! weiu ueif ywqplcxnf duwiel! dhsido? sdlkjq0gjn, sdld, tqnod, thewioghs wehros q wepop hfow!" Translation: I gotta piss so bad my back teeth are floating, god damn it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 What they really mean when they say "lean not unto your own understanding," is "lean unto our understanding." I mostly agree with this assessment Rob. Hi Legion. Your statement implies that you disagree with it to some extent. I'm interested in hearing your reasoning. I suspect there are a few relatively sincere pastors and church leaders who would say that it is the "authority" of the Bible that is the final authority. I don't believe that all church leaders set themselves up as sacred teachers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderer Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 What they really mean when they say "lean not unto your own understanding," is "lean unto our understanding." I mostly agree with this assessment Rob. Hi Legion. Your statement implies that you disagree with it to some extent. I'm interested in hearing your reasoning. I suspect there are a few relatively sincere pastors and church leaders who would say that it is the "authority" of the Bible that is the final authority. I don't believe that all church leaders set themselves up as sacred teachers. Ahh. I didn't mean to equate "lean unto our understanding" with insincerity. I've met sincere pastors and ministers who long ago had given up thinking for themselves, and had bought their "company" (read: "denomination") line completely. They are the worst of the lot, in my opinion, because even a new convert can sense insincerity, and might yet escape from the clutches of the religion before being thoroughly brainwashed. Rob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts