How Do The Christians In Your Family Handle Your Non- Or Ex-christian Partners?

[Trev]

I think 'badly' would about sum it up for me.

 

I know a lot of the problem is them, but what do you do to deal with this?

 

Why can't more Christians realise that just because you're not a Cristian it doesn't mean you go to orgies every night, get blottoed every Friday and Saturday night, and have no hope in finding meaning in anything at all?

[Gobbler]

I think 'badly' would about sum it up for me.

 

I know a lot of the problem is them, but what do you do to deal with this?

 

Why can't more Christians realise that just because you're not a Cristian it doesn't mean you go to orgies every night, get blottoed every Friday and Saturday night, and have no hope in finding meaning in anything at all?

 

I know, it's as if they think we are living some "alternative lifestyle". What lifestyle? I'm pretty much the same person I was before my deconversion. Except imaginary friendless! We thank thee Emoticon for your sacrifice!

[Trev]

What lifestyle? I'm pretty much the same person I was before my deconversion. Except imaginary friendless!

 

Yes, exactly

 

We thank thee Emoticon for your sacrifice!

 

lmao

[Gobbler]

What lifestyle? I'm pretty much the same person I was before my deconversion. Except imaginary friendless!

 

Yes, exactly

 

We thank thee Emoticon for your sacrifice!

 

lmao

 

Thought that would start your day off right! I see that you joined this past February, welcome if no one has already done so. This place is great. It has really helped me in my deconversion process. Telling those in the family about your non-belief can be really stressful and difficult. Yet I feel it has to be done at some point. I have come to the conclusion that if christians have the so-called right to spew out their jesus puke then I have the same rights to puke back my reasoning and logic for my atheism. At first I was timid about revealing my born again atheism to others. No longer! I am sick and tired of the religious saturation of our society. Especially in America. It is virtually around every corner. When I was a fundy I used to think christianity was being persecuted relentlessly by the human secularists and other non-believers. Yet after my deconversion my blinders fell off and realize that christians here specifically in the US have never had it so good! So you know, I have no qualms about spreading my new found "gospel"!

[Trev]

I see that you joined this past February, welcome if no one has already done so.

 

Yes, everyone has been great, but no-one has told me when my initiation camp/retreat is yet.

 

I have come to the conclusion that if christians have the so-called right to spew out their jesus puke then I have the same rights to puke back my reasoning and logic for my atheism.

 

I just wish it didn't take me a few years to realise that

[Internet Jesus]

well step back.

it's all very simple for them isn't it...

 

 

good=heaven

 

bad=hell

 

bible=god

 

 

you ----> hell

[ShackledNoMore]

My wife is actually a christian of the catholic variety, but she doesn't really adopt catholic dogma and her degree of religious emphasis is so low that it's usually hard to tell that she's actually supposed to be a catholic even if you're married to her. My mother always strictly considered her a non-xian, so I think I can still answer the OP.

 

Early in our marriage, before we were estranged from her, my mother:

 

1) Treated my wife like crap.

 

2) When I was out of the room, she'd usually take my wife aside and try to "witness" to her.

 

3) She'd "work on" my wife to try to get her to take on behaviors and qualities that would have been show stoppers that would have caused me to never have married her in the first place, and would have been bad for our marriage, (both related and unrelated to religion) including, but not limited to nagging me to "get right with god" (heh, heh) even though she didn't think my wife was a xian!

[Gobbler]

Yes, everyone has been great, but no-one has told me when my initiation camp/retreat is yet.

 

Although there is no formal retreat or camp I hereby dub thee initiated! Now go forth and do battle with the christian meme!

 

 

I reread your OP and heading and perhaps I headed off the wrong direction and was speaking of myself in general when dealing with christians. So let me properly give you an example that still frustrates me to this day regarding my parents and what they think of my ex-wife. Married twenty years to a wonderful Korean lady who is still a fervent christian while I am not any longer. My parents who are fundy christians always loved her and thought she was the best thing since sliced bread. After the divorce? She is total shit to them. They have made many false statements about her since our divorce. Now keep in mind our divorce was my idea primarily and we are still friends. My step-father is a minister in a small country church so I have heard him say many crazy things regarding their faith and the bible in general. My mother is also very faithful and has always led a stoic christian life. I have even heard my step-father say in a sermon that he was closer to his christian "brothers" than he was to his earthly brother! That is, before his brother succumbed to the mind virus. So I am thinking, they are supposed to be led by the "holy spirit" and influenced, indwelled as it were to lead a righteous life. So why isn't the holy spook or god or jesus telling you (my parents) that what you are thinking and saying about my ex-wife is all wrong and it is lies that you are spreading? And she is still a fervent, god-fearing christian! You are hurting a fellow christian when you say those things. You should be closer to her than to me now that I'm an atheist. Why isn't your spook saying something to you to correct your behavior?!!!!! Well, for me that is just one more nail in the coffin of my former christian self! What hyprocrisy! :angry: Yea, it still pisses me off because she doesn't deserve that. The rest of my family still loves her though.

[Trev]

Now keep in mind our divorce was my idea primarily and we are still friends.

 

Those are very mature thing to be able to articulate and do

[Gobbler]

Now keep in mind our divorce was my idea primarily and we are still friends.

 

Those are very mature thing to be able to articulate and do

 

Thank you! Yet it still is not an easy thing to do as far as the divorce. I see no reason not to remain friends though. Unless one is seriously fucked over by a former spouse. It's funny how the christian mind virus can make you less loving (in my parent's instance) than my own atheism! If I can get along with her, why can't they?! Especially if both parties are christian? Duh! My parent's read me the riot act about getting back to christ last year. Yea, I see christ's love in your heart and what it does for you. Don't think so. Not gonna happen!

[gabby]

My parents say that have accepted that my husband is not a christian BUT he since is jewish (not religious) my mom is convinced that he will be one of the 140,000 jews that convert before Armageddon (is that even in the Babble?). Anyhow, it's ok because we just kind of ignore it. When we got married it was a real push and pull kind of situation with my parents saying that there needed to be xtian elements to the ceremony b/c they were paying for it. So we tried a compromise but my childhood pastor objected to me marrying a "non-believer" and refused to officiate the ceremony. (He showed his true colors, so we wiped him off the guest list.)

My stepdad is still hoping for the glorious moment when my husbands converts and will go to the stupid Promise Keepers with him.

Dream on old man, dream on.

At any rate, it is a daily struggle to talk to my mom on the phone because while I want to have a relationship w/her she just sets off my panic attacks. I am working on not calling her b/c I know it will upset me but it is hard. My hubby has nerves of steel so a lot of times I just let him deal with them. On a happy note, my husbands family are non-practicing jews and they are awesome. They really have helped my deconversion because while my family claims to love me by divine command my in-laws just love me for who I am. In fact I think my new family has made my mom feel guilty b/c I am always telling her about how they aren't religious but they exemplify unconditional love without all the stupid x-tian crap. Just my two-cents.