studiorat Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 You know... I've been thinking. All religions have forever spouted off about "God's love" and "the eternal bliss of God's love" and the grace of God's love"...ad nauseum. However, at the same time they warn that if we don't fall in line, we will be tortured and burned and killed FOREVER!!!!! Now I want you to close your eyes and picture a dumpy single-wide mobil home. Inside you have a boozy redneck threatening his mousy wife to "clean the kitchen or I'll kick the SHEE-YIT outta ya!" Later... after a generous offering of turkey pot pies (4/$1.00 at Wal-Mart), he promises that "pretty soon, I'll take you outta here to a better motor court, and things will be great! Now go fix me some ice cream, NOW!!!" God is the redneck. Xtians are the abused wife. WE are the friends of that wife (who work at the nail salon on main street) that keep telling her "You don't have to stay with that asshole!" She could leave any time she wants, but she's afraid "He'll really hurt me this time..." So she returns to the single-wide and waits on him hand and foot with the promise of a "double-wide on the other side of town". But she never leaves, and only at the very end of her miserable life she realizes that she should have listened to us and LIVED. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trev Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 You know... I've been thinking. All religions have forever spouted off about "God's love" and "the eternal bliss of God's love" and the grace of God's love"...ad nauseum. However, at the same time they warn that if we don't fall in line, we will be tortured and burned and killed FOREVER!!!!! Now I want you to close your eyes and picture a dumpy single-wide mobil home. Inside you have a boozy redneck threatening his mousy wife to "clean the kitchen or I'll kick the SHEE-YIT outta ya!" Later... after a generous offering of turkey pot pies (4/$1.00 at Wal-Mart), he promises that "pretty soon, I'll take you outta here to a better motor court, and things will be great! Now go fix me some ice cream, NOW!!!" God is the redneck. Xtians are the abused wife. WE are the friends of that wife (who work at the nail salon on main street) that keep telling her "You don't have to stay with that asshole!" She could leave any time she wants, but she's afraid "He'll really hurt me this time..." So she returns to the single-wide and waits on him hand and foot with the promise of a "double-wide on the other side of town". But she never leaves, and only at the very end of her miserable life she realizes that she should have listened to us and LIVED. How true that is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Telesmith Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Basically... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apostate called Jimmy Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 I like that. That's a pretty clever comparison. I never even thought of it like that. Now It makes sense why inbred, shit-for-brains rednecks worship the bible god; he's just fucking like them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gradstu09 Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 I once had a picture of god the father in a wifebeater holding a beer and taking a swing at his wife, but I can't find it now. |=( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted March 21, 2008 Super Moderator Share Posted March 21, 2008 A smart redneck would be offended at being compared with God. WTF am I saying! Smart redneck? Never mind. - Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
studiorat Posted March 23, 2008 Author Share Posted March 23, 2008 "Shut up, bitch! Go fix me a turkey pot pie!" Sorry had a Breakfast Club moment. I'll be honest... I had to restrain myself from writing it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 WTF am I saying! Smart redneck? Never mind. I happen to live in the great state of North Carolina. Esse quam vederi. I happen to know some very clever rednecks. They still lack class perhaps, but they are still very clever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted March 23, 2008 Super Moderator Share Posted March 23, 2008 WTF am I saying! Smart redneck? Never mind. I happen to live in the great state of North Carolina. Esse quam vederi. I happen to know some very clever rednecks. They still lack class perhaps, but they are still very clever. Esse Quam Videri was my high school motto. Small world, huh? Everybody picks on rednecks these days. Of course they're not all that stupid - they can even make it to the White House. And you aren't around any more rednecks than I am here if Florida. Hell, your rednecks vacation here! - Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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