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Goodbye Jesus

My Easter Challenge


Abiyoyo

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The true meaning of Easter.

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God damn, that's some funny shit! I wish I knew how to get that one on my cell. :lmao:
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I don't even understand the challenge. what are we being challenged to do exactly?

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Not sure... I think we're watching some form of neurological deterioration...

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I don't even understand the challenge. what are we being challenged to do exactly?

 

We are supposed to read the story of Samuel. I think the idea is, if we don't like the jesus story or character, then maybe we will find another bible story and it's character more convincing.

 

How that relates to easter....the OP started the thread on Easter. Beyond that, I see no reason to call this an Easter Challenge.

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How that relates to easter....the OP started the thread on Easter. Beyond that, I see no reason to call this an Easter Challenge.
Personally, I think a more interesting Easter challenge would be to see YoYo attempt to tell us all the events of the story of the resurrection of Jesus using all four gospels and in their correct order with no contradictions whatsoever.
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My challenge is anyone that has knowledge of the Bible and Samuel, Could they possibly look into that character as God's elect; and believe?

Happy easter

 

Now let me think. :scratch:

 

Samuel said to Saul, "I am the one the LORD sent to anoint you king over his people Israel; so listen now to the message from the LORD. This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.' "

 

No I don't think so. That Sam is quite a character alright, sort of a Hitler prototype.

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I wish God would show himself somehow, sent a lightning bolt down if an elect would ask, help someone get well when sick, give someone a home, a working car, happiness if depressed. I wish in all these things of God. I pray all these things of God.

 

Poor YoYo, God can't do this, because God isn't there. You may as well wish on a star. It's so sad really that a star makes a better wish object simplely because it is there.

 

As for me. I have a Holy Brick. I get the same results asking it for things that I used to ask for from God, plus I have the added comfort of being able to pick it up and cuddle with it.

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As for me. I have a Holy Brick. I get the same results asking it for things that I used to ask for from God, plus I have the added comfort of being able to pick it up and cuddle with it.

 

And it can defend itself too! If someone disagrees with HB dogma, all you have to do is throw it, and Holy Brick takes care of the rest.

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As for me. I have a Holy Brick. I get the same results asking it for things that I used to ask for from God, plus I have the added comfort of being able to pick it up and cuddle with it.

 

And it can defend itself too! If someone disagrees with HB dogma, all you have to do is throw it, and Holy Brick takes care of the rest.

 

Well let's just say it can participate in its own defense.

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My challenge is anyone that has knowledge of the Bible and Samuel, Could they possibly look into that character as God's elect; and believe?

Happy easter

 

Now let me think. :scratch:

 

Samuel said to Saul, "I am the one the LORD sent to anoint you king over his people Israel; so listen now to the message from the LORD. This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.' "

 

No I don't think so. That Sam is quite a character alright, sort of a Hitler prototype.

Pretty well what the Romans did to Carthage... but god didn't tell those chaps to do it, they came up with it themselves, and they didn't kill the women and children, but sold them into slavery, then burned the place and ploughed the ground with salt... strange how the Romans were more merciful than Jesus (since the doctrine of the Trinity means Jesus was up for that...)

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Since the OP hasn't been back since 23rd I'm awarding the 'March Shit on the Carpet' to Yoyo

 

WalnutWhip.jpg

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Since the OP hasn't been back since 23rd I'm awarding the 'March Shit on the Carpet' to Yoyo
This one seems more appropriate, methinks.

 

It's huge.

 

At first, it looks real.

 

But it's completely fake.

 

So yeah. This is more fitting. :mellow:

 

 

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It's a little known fact that at about this time in history all the talking donkey's and snakes that were still in existence were in Amalekite hands. This little bit of genocide against the fictional Amalekites is simply a cover-up for wiping them critters out. But Saul failed to kill the animals and Sammy had to kill the Amalekite king himself. All hail Sammy!

 

Let's read the end of the moral tale:

7 And Saul made an attack on the Amalekites from Havilah on the road to Shur, which is before Egypt. 8 He took Agag, king of the Amalekites, prisoner, and put all the people to the sword without mercy. 9 But Saul and the people did not put 1Agag to death, and they kept the best of the sheep and the oxen and the fat beasts and the lambs, and whatever was good, not desiring to put them to the curse: but everything which was bad and of no use they put to the curse.

 

10 Then the Lord said to Samuel, 11 It is no longer my pleasure for Saul to be king; for he is turned back from going in my ways, and has not done my orders. And Samuel was very sad, crying to the Lord in prayer all night.

...

19 Why then did you not do the orders of the Lord, but by violently taking their goods did evil in the eyes of the Lord? 20 And Saul said, Truly, I have done the orders of the Lord and have gone the way the Lord sent me; I have taken Agag, the king of Amalek, and have given the Amalekites up to destruction. 21 But the people took some of their goods, sheep and oxen, the chief of the things which were put to the curse, to make an offering of them to the Lord your God in Gilgal. 22 And Samuel said, Has the Lord as much delight in offerings and burned offerings as in the doing of his orders? Truly, to do his pleasure is better than to make offerings, and to give ear to him than the fat of sheep. 23 For to go against his orders is like the sin of those who make use of secret arts, and pride is like giving worship to images. Because you have put away from you the word of the Lord, he has put you from your place as king.

...

32 Then Samuel said, Make Agag, the king of the Amalekites, come here to me. And Agag came to him shaking with fear. And Agag said, Truly the pain of death is past. 33 And Samuel said, As your sword has made women without children, so now your mother will be without children among women. And Agag was cut up by Samuel, bone from bone, before the Lord in Gilgal.

Blind obedience is of utmost importance. It is the most important thing. God says "kill" and you kill. God says "Commit genocide" and you commit genocide. You do not question. You do not hold back even to honor "god" itself. God wants to see his enemies cut up "bone from bone" right in from of him. That Sammy was a really great and honorable guy alright. I shall strive to be more like him indeed. And Elijah where he kills all the priests of the Baals when they couldn't perform on command. Elisha for the whole bear/kids incident as I recall. Yes, the prophets are a bunch to emulate alright. (And they were responsible for the extinction of the talking animals too.)

 

mwc

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i do believe Christ is real, I do believe God is here.

 

People will believe all sorts of things that comfort them.

However, whims aren't facts.

From what I can tell, speculations about "God" aren't very constructive outside of parlor room chatter.

By the way, when did Jesus earn the title of Christ?

What are the qualifications for an expected king messiah according to the Hebrew scriptures?

When was Jesus anointed as king according to the specifications laid down in the "old" Testament?

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