Guest worthynow Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 Hello! When you started loosing your faith in Christianity, did you ever try hard to gain your faith back? Like read anything, beg God, read christian message boards, books,counsling etc? I know I did after I just lost my belief. I mean I tried for years to have that 'faith' that I once had believed the christian message. It just never came back. I mean I really tried. I sometimes feel so sorry for people that are trapped into the Christianity doctrine of any form. I just look back and my deep thoughts and can't believe I was that kind of person. For me it was a learned experience because I was raised that way. If the Jesus story is true, then he should come rescue me. I am the wondering sheep, the prodical son, the doubting Thomas. I was fulling serving him for years. He just became a fairy tale to me. My sheep hear my voice. Bull crap! I tried to listen. You don't exist and if you do, I don't want nothing to do with you now. You created me, so deal with the rejection. My only conclusion is why people serve the Christian God is because they are afraid of hell. Period. Worst lie written in the bible was... For God so loved the world and Jesus died for your sins. Impossible. If he died for the worlds sins, there would be no books like Romans. I thought he said it was finished? Why couldn't he save the 1/3 angels he threw out of heaven. I mean why go through all the trouble. He created them too. Makes me wonder why Lucifer would even want to sin. I mean an ark angel of music back in those days. lol Thanks for letting me rant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jubilant Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 No. Trying to hold on and keep my faith via prayer, begging, etc. to God was what would be my last ditch effort to keep my Christian belief...when *God* did not answer my call despite my crying and begging, I figured that he did not exist. After I lost the faith, that was it, I was finished altogether with the Christian faith. However, I still held a deistic view of God for quite awhile afterwards, around a year or so before I lost all faith in a deity altogether. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 For me I did try to find it in the first place... I realised quickly I was dealing with monsters in the form of the 'body of the faithful'... they hold such frightful things as 'good' it was physically nauseating. Even the 'reasonable' or 'nice' ones, if you scratched the skin there was just pus, maggots and vile liquid excrement and bilious fluid that gushed forth... Hence my reasonably unforgiving stance of prosletysers here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 I did not try to go back once I got out. All the self-doubt I worked out over the years leading up to leaving the church. Once I began to understand why someone such as Charles Templeton would leave the church, the evidence to support the idea that Christianity was wrong and atheism and evolution were closer to the truth. No, I've not gone back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 Nope. I didn't try and restore my faith in Santa or the Tooth Fairy either. The Easter Bunny took a little longer, but clearer heads prevailed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marie Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Hi, worthy- Yes, I did, and I still have trouble with this! I've repeatedly begged God to send me a sign proving existence, begged for forgiveness of my sins, begged for all kinds of graces and indulgences and "a good confession" (it's a Catholic thing), begged for the ability to understand, believe, obey. I've sobbed and choked and shouted into the wind. I've screamed and cried in my car, at the beach, in my head. Nothing ever changed; and it would appear that, if religion be true, God does not take pity on me. I used to sit and read the Gospels, and feel such total sorrow and empathy with Judas Iscariot. I know exactly what the man was going through. I wish I had something uplifting and helpful for you. At least I could tell you that you're not the only one. I'm sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vendredie Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 I tried, a few times. Then I tried to replace christianity with Wicca. But I'd just stopped believing in any sort of god so I just turned into a spiritiual and militant atheist. I still try occasionally, still try to make myself believe again, but then I realize I'm just lying to myself. I know about the history of Christianity now, and I know what the Bible says. This might sound really bad, but I became agnostic after reading The Da Vinci Code. It said a lot of the things I'd been hearing for several months, and after some research (I knew it wasn't 100% accurate) Christianity made no sense anymore. I tried to make more excuses-- which was what I'd been doing for a year before reading the book-- but the excuses made my faith weaker and weaker till there was nothing left. And now an then I'll try to get myself to believe again... ain't gonna happen. I can't do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peavy Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 For me, yes. Time and time again. When I was in Christianity, life was great; I never felt distant from friends and family, I had a guaranteed prospect for the future, etc. I know a lot of Ex-christians often leave the church because of bad experience, and Christians try to psychologically use this against them. But for me, it had NOTHING to do with the church. My church was great! Almost all my friends went there, and I never received a word of malcontent because of my differences, doubts, etc. My reason for deconversion was simply recognizing the holes in the doctrines and dogma in Christianity. In fact, I still have rather mixed feelings about my deconversion. I never had an understanding of the phrase "ignorance is bliss" until I deconverted. If I could still believe in God, I would. The eye-opening experience of deconversion is somewhat depressing in contrast to the blind religious mindset. Part of me feels like Cypher from the Matrix film, in that I sometimes long for the complacent, though ignorant, state that I left behind with my beliefs. So many times, I consider the possibility of Christianity being valid, and I pray to God, asking Him to simply reveal Himself, yet I walk away empty handed every time. If the Bible were true, God is certainly off his game, I'm afraid. When you consider all the miraculous ways he showed himself to mankind, it's simply shocking that we're supposed to take things like a recovering crack addict or a grilled cheese sandwich to be true miracles of the Almighty. I mean, if He existed, and really, truly loved all of His creation, is it too much to ask for Him to reveal Himself to each of us firsthand?? What conceivable doubt could survive then? Instead, this all-loving Creator reveals himself in sketchy, ambiguous, second and thirdhand accounts, resulting in only skepticism or blind faith. Wow. I wasn't planning on typing that much... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ogilvy Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Hello! When you started loosing your faith in Christianity, did you ever try hard to gain your faith back? Like read anything, beg God, read christian message boards, books,counsling etc? I know I did after I just lost my belief. I mean I tried for years to have that 'faith' that I once had believed the christian message. It just never came back. I mean I really tried. I sometimes feel so sorry for people that are trapped into the Christianity doctrine of any form. I just look back and my deep thoughts and can't believe I was that kind of person. i try but it doesnt work. i get out the bible thinking i'll try again to read some of it, then something stops me and i put it away. i start praying to God, then i remember that he is cruel, and i think 'whats the use?'. losing my belief in christianity was very unexpected for me, it just happened over a few months, without me even trying. i didnt even want it to happen. now i'm starting to enjoy the benefits of not being tied to my religion. i like the freedom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 I think, long ago when I shed the religion, it was just trying to get some sort response from jeebus, no matter what I did, zero response. I think trying to find a reason for your faith, trying to renew it, is the start of the road to deconversion in a lot of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skiergirl24 Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 hell yes i did! i got on my hands and knees and begged for god to send me a sign, prayed, read books by apologetics, studied the bible etc. it just drove me further and further away from religion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 We have tried different churches in our area and discovered how weird xian thinking really was. The more I discussed with people, the more I accepted the fact, that the whole xian system is fucked up. Certainly I have prayed and begged, like some others here. It took me some time to really leave my faith. But now I am fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 I can't say that I tried to find my faith again, exactly. But I did try hard to keep it from slipping away. I had one foot in xianity for a long time, and I spent a lot of time trying to find ways to reconcile my faith with reality. Reality won in the end, though. Funny how that works... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueGiant Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 After I officially left, can't say I tried to go back to my old faith. Then again, the way I see it, I got a better offer, and a much better view of the divine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eponymic Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Hello! When you started loosing your faith in Christianity, did you ever try hard to gain your faith back? Like read anything, beg God, read christian message boards, books,counsling etc? For me, I always found it hard to try and gain faith in Christianity. When I was a kid my parents weren't that into themselves. So I was never heavily indoctrinated. As a result, whenever I sought to find meaning & purpose and tried to believe in Christianity, it always felt wrong to follow it. It never rang true to me and as a result, I feel like I'm quite lucky, that struggle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rob Barnes Posted April 3, 2008 Share Posted April 3, 2008 I too tried very hard to retain my faith. I re-read all the classic apologists such as C.S Lewis etc. I prayed and prayed, I continued to study the Bible studiously, and was often reduced to being on my hands and knees in tears. I remember being in Church, really wanting to have a genuine encounter with God. It just never happened, and after a while I realised that there is no going back. No return to Narnia, no return to Oz. To return to Christianity now would be the equivalent of asking me to believe in Santa Claus. I blame the likes of Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, Christopher Hitchens. Those nasty advocates of reason and critical thinking. If it hadn't been for them I'd still be coming up with arguments such as "the worst atrocities in history were the work of atheists", or pointing out the genuis of C.S Lewis's universal moral law etc. Oh well. Too late. I'm an atheist now. And I'm hungry. So I'm off to eat some babies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest worthynow Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Thank you all for sharing. I believe I lost my faith the years in church even though going through the motions. Of course part of it was family situations. I seriously could never go back to believing in the Jesus God. I mean I have really tried. (more out of fear of going to hell) It is a way better life now to be free from that bondage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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