Sometimes I cry

[webmdave]

Sent in by Debbie L

 

Sometimes I cry.

 

Sometimes I'm sad to be so far away from what I used to be.

 

It's like missing home.

 

I wouldn't ever want to live with my parents again, but hey, there was some really good stuff there, too.

 

Now they look at me funny when I say I don't go to church. They look at me with sad eyes and remind me that they are praying for me. I'm sure they are, and sometimes it's hard for me to know my choices are breaking their hearts. But, I haven't chosen a life of crime. I've never hurt anyone willingly in my whole life. You'd think I was choosing to become part of the Taliban or something. They send me emails on the dangers of "THE CHURCH OF OPRAH" and how I should warn everyone that she is leading millions astray with her views.

 

...sigh...

 

I love Oprah. I know it's cliche, but I love how she speaks her mind, no matter how dorky it sounds, and that she isn't afraid to look convention in the eye and roll her eyes at it. Do I buy everything she says? NO. But, I like what she stands for... for finding your OWN way.

 

I don't know how to respond to these emails my mother sends me. I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want to let her keep believing I am still brainwashed either.

 

I've really enjoyed reading the posts on here today. It's the first time I've reached out to find others who aren't 'following' anymore.

 

http://exchristian.net/testimonies/2008/04...imes-i-cry.html

[DarthOkkata]

Welcome then.

 

This is a good place to hang about and learn how to cope with disbelief, and all it entails.

 

Personally, I look at Christianity the same way I look at the Army. I miss small parts of it, but not as much as I don't miss the parts that sucked, there were a lot more of those.

 

I'm less emotional, partly because I've been through my male desensitivity training. Thinking about not being Christian doesn't bring me down. I converted young, and had several years to carefully plot my escape.

 

Not that I don't see my family anymore or anything.

[Guest eejay]

Don't despair. As much as you may not want to believe it right now, things will get better. I think the main thing you have to focus on, is to remain true to yourself. You may likely never get your parent's approval for dumping their religious beliefs, they have no choice in how or what you decide to believe or how you live your life. It's understanding that they are hurt by your lack of faith, but think about it, do you want to live a lie just to make them happy? They may never fully come to grips with your deconversion, but some people on this site have made ground with family members. Each situation is individual, but I think you'll find this site comforting, that you are not so alone in dealing with this. Good luck and keep posting.

[alpha centauri]

Welcome, Debbie!

 

I understand where you're coming from. Faith/religion can be like a warm security blanket.

 

But in giving up the warm fuzzies that religion offers — in this case, Christianity, you are also giving up a lot of the negative implications as well. Such as the threat of an eternal hell for anyone who disagrees with this supposedly loving/forgiving god.

 

Christianity is designed to create dependence. We are told to pray continually, to die to ourselves and become new creations in Christ, to allow the Scriptures and the guidance of a holy spirit to influence EVERYTHING we think, say and do.

 

Jesus was one of the first to propose the idea of thought-crime. If you think something bad, it's as bad as doing it. (uh ... no, not quite!).

 

Freedom from superstitious fables is a wonderful thing, but it can also leave a void.

 

I've filled the void by engrossing myself in a greater appreciation for the wonders of the universe, reading, entertaiment, music, etc.

 

It's also wonderful to have places like this message board to fellowship with others, offer encouragement, support and a place to share thoughts, ideas and problems.

 

When I was a Christian, I worried about my wonderful great-grandmother going to hell because she wasn't a Christian.It's a place no one should be consigned to forever, no matter what their crimes were. So it's natural for someone who loves you to be concerned. But that's one of the insidious lies of Christianity: the threat of a horrific punishment for infinity for those who choose another path.

 

There's also a sense of sadness in finding out the fairy tales of childhood aren't real. But Santa only threatened us with a lump of coal, never with eternal damnation!

 

I wish you and your loved ones the all best. Please keep us updated on how things are going.