Guest Zenobia Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 I work with a guy who is a proud example of Xtian Homeschooling. This guy is a raging neo-conservative fundie who constantly has to interject little "fundie-isms" into ordinary conversation, just to try to tweak people who don't subscribe to his straight and narrow beliefs. But the funny part is, he guy picks his nose non-stop throughout the day. I mean, he really DIGS! Sticks his forfinger up there and cranks it around, elbow sticking out, and twirls his finger around to swab up every scrap of slimy goodness. And then he follows through. *gag* He also likes to fart occasionally. And doesn't even "sneak" them out. Just lets 'em rip and says something like "oh sorry I had a burrito for lunch." Lucky me, I was assigned to mentor this guy. So I had to sit next to him and answer all his questions. I am an "out of the closet" Pagan, and I decorate my desk accordingly - within the confines of the corporate handbook of course. This guy, correspondingly, has scriptures pinned all over his desk. And a NIV Bible. And neo-conservative fundie cartoons that poke fun at Democrats, etc. So, yes, this was a great decision to pair the two of us up. Anyway, Booger-boy likes to make little off color jokes about Jews sometimes. I am part Jewish, not in religion but by blood, so I take offense. I complained to management and Booger-boy was chastised accordingly. So, for revenge, he got upset that I have a habit of saying "thank the Goddess." Hey, I say "thank the Goddess" because I would be a hypocrite to say "thank God" since I don't believe in him. I don't actually believe in a living, breathing Goddess either - but I do believe that Nature is divine... so I say "thank the goddess." Anyway, this upset Booger-boy and he tried to make a big issue out of it, but since I am not really making fun of anything - I was allowed to keep saying "thank the goddess." Unfortunately, my manager didn't want to say anything to Booger-boy about his personal hygene. So he continues to dig away. Fortunately, I am no longer his mentor and I sit at the opposite end of the room now. And I always spray any paperwork he hands me with disinfectant. Heh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alpha centauri Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 How utterly vile, gross, nasty, disgusting and revolting! In his hygeine, he is merely following the way of his master. Remember that Jesus and his disciples didn't wash their hands before eating (Mark 7), and he hurled insults and accusations against the Jewish teachers who pointed that out. If I were you, I'd keep a bottle (or 10) or hand sanitizer and some Lysol nearby at all times. I guess he doesn't given a fig about the golden rule, though. Otherwise, he'd refrain from digging in his nostrils and blasting his foul odors — unless of course, he'd like to be treated the same way by others. Looks like pagans have more class, though! Thank the goddess (or in my case, the Flying Spaghetti Monster) that you don't have to see this guy more often than absolutely necessary to the job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apostate called Jimmy Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 "... so I say "thank the goddess." Anyway, this upset Booger-boy and he tried to make a big issue out of it, but since I am not really making fun of anything - I was allowed to keep saying "thank the goddess." You know what he'll probably think now, don't you? That he's being persecuted because he's a christian. Perhaps the nose picking explains why he's such a dumbass. Maybe one day he dug up way too deep and pulled what was left of his brain out through his nose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zenobia Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 How utterly vile, gross, nasty, disgusting and revolting! In his hygeine, he is merely following the way of his master. Remember that Jesus and his disciples didn't wash their hands before eating (Mark 7), and he hurled insults and accusations against the Jewish teachers who pointed that out. LOL... I think he may be reading the "good book" a bit too literally?? If I were you, I'd keep a bottle (or 10) or hand sanitizer and some Lysol nearby at all times. Oh yes... I use purel. I guess he doesn't given a fig about the golden rule, though. Otherwise, he'd refrain from digging in his nostrils and blasting his foul odors — unless of course, he'd like to be treated the same way by others. Looks like pagans have more class, though! Yes... I believe in the pagan creed of "harm none." Which is probably where they got their whole "golden rule" idea, but thats another story. Thank the goddess (or in my case, the Flying Spaghetti Monster) that you don't have to see this guy more often than absolutely necessary to the job! LOL yes and even better, I no longer sit next to him!!!!!!! Thank the goddess, FSM, and the great cosmic muffin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zenobia Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 You know what he'll probably think now, don't you? That he's being persecuted because he's a christian. Perhaps the nose picking explains why he's such a dumbass. Maybe one day he dug up way too deep and pulled what was left of his brain out through his nose. Oh yes...the "poor persecuted xtians" who somehow feel persecuted if they can't force others to subscribe to their beliefs! Yes, one day Booger-boy was quite irate about how Xtians were being persecuted. He was ranting about how we no longer have a Christmas party at work, and instead just have a "winter" party. He went on about how they still allow us to dress up for Halloween but we can't keep Christmas! Then I reminded him that the Christmas party was cancelled at the behest of the Jehovah's Witnesses. They don't keep Christmas. So, actually, Xtians are persecuting Xtians Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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