Jump to content
Goodbye Jesus

God Provides Anniversary Clock Globe For Us


Recommended Posts

We've been casually keeping an eye out for a replacement anniversary clock globe for several years now. No doubt we would have found one long ago if we searched in earnest, sought out the right kind of stores in the nearest city, searched the Internet, etc., but it wasn't our top priority and we were patient.


Finally today we saw one in a thrift store--just the ticket.


I'd kind of sort of already noticed that they were gung ho xians at this shop--lots of subtle little god plugs scattered throughout the store, but when we went to check out, the shopkeeper brought it fully to light: he was convinced that the christian god was responsible for our little find.


Now I don't see any logic in this conclusion for the life of me. We're statistically likely to stumble upon an anniversary clock globe sometime or another if we keep an eye out for one for a long time. It's also unclear to me why god would lead us to one NOW instead of two or three years ago (we told him we'd been looking for a long time before he started his mindless monologue on how god works).


The delicious irony is, "if he only knew!" If his judgement is to be trusted (or assuming, for the sake of argument, that he was privy to god given insight), then god arbitrarily decided to craft an outcome for an insignificant matter that was already likely to happen, as a favor for someone he considers a sinful, godless unbeliever, an abomination in his eyes, that he's going to cast into hell for eternity, all while ignoring many of his own suffering from painful and/or terminal illnesses and other much weightier world matters.


Just another tiny snippet exemplifying the lack of any real thought that goes into what some of these folks spout out.


Addendum: I just finished the post in its entirety and was about to send when my wife called me out into the yard. In the same thrift store, we bought a Mr. Potato head water sprinkler for 50 cents. Seems it doesn't work--it just oozes out lame streams of water that you can't play in. No big deal, only 50 cents, however it makes me wonder if god is supposed to be responsible for this, too? Since I was just typing this post, perhaps he is punishing me for my blasphemy? Perhaps since I didn't instantly reconvert when the shopkeeper alerted me to the fact that god provided the globe, he's now punishing me--a little taste of Mr. Potato Head hell on earth?


<shakes head>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like it needs descaling... god told me to tell you

Link to comment
Share on other sites

God purposely kept you from finding other globes you passed right by in the last few years, until you finally passed by this very Holy store.


the Mr.PotatoHead sprinkler is God's way of telling you to keep you and your family's clothes on, be modest, and not frolic in all your body-parts-exposed kind of way.


LOL......It is amazing I never became a Fundie Apologist, I would have been good at it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.