Mental And Emotional Abuse

[Guest christianlongago]

I am sorry I forgot the most important part of this evening. The woman called ahead of time to find out if there was an available computer at 6:30 pm. She was told by Library personel that I was there and would be until 7:30. They also told her that I was upset last night when she did leave when I asked her to. She stayed in the library last night and read. Tonight she sat right across from me knowing that I did not want her around. In my book this is some kind of harrassment, abuse or stalking and it is definitely upsetting to me.

[gradstu09]

I agree with mwc. Get a restraining order and avoid all contact. Document her attempts to stalk or harass you.

[Guest christianlongago]

It has been about two weeks since I first posted and what a realization I have come up with. I have looked at a lot of topics, really paid attention to the responses on this topic I started and reviewed some of the topics my ex-girlfriend posted on this site. If I may this is what I am learning.

 

1. I am an ex-christian. I know this because I thought ex-Christians were fanatics like my ex-girlfriend was.( OK for her to feel the way she did it is just not for me) That is not true. In many cases I am lot like you peole. I have my views and I keep them to myself but not crazed about my issues.

2. I really was emotional and mentally abused not just in the last months of my relationship but for a lot longer and I allowed it to happen I keep forgiving her and taking her back. This was harmful to me and ALSO inabled her to keep doing her thing and never accept responsibilty. She knew I would eventually forgive her. Who knows I still might. That's my issue.

3. I really don't understand many of my ex-girlfriend's posts and I definitely don't understand her past. I don't think many of the occurrences are true at least in the sense that they happened the way she thinks they happened. I make that observation because I know first hand what she thinks happened between us and that is a fabrication.

4 I am a fine person and I deserved and earned more respect from my friend/lover of these past two years.

5. I am doing better. Today, May10th, is my birthday and I am going to do what ever I damn please and not worry that someone else is not enjoying themselves.

6. and last. You shouldn't love someone that doesn't want love or even have the capability to accept that love. It wears you out and you become almost desperate to please. I know full well.

[IndigoShe]

......She blamed just about every action she took on her past and aimed directly at a Christian youth/Young adult. Yet she became what she ran away from. She used her terrible christian life to act like a really bad ex-christian. ........Did her experience really have anything to do with how she has behaved all these years or is it just the type of person she is.

 

I think she was an example of hard wire programming. After all the Christian religion aspires to create victim mentalities. It's always the fault of something else that we're what we are or do what we do. She left the church and the faith but the faith there's always something else to blame for her actions didn't leave her. And you'll never change that in her. Its what she's allowed herself to become.

[Guest christianlongago]

I have left this conversation alone because i am trying very hard to get over this abuse. But it won't go away. Advice i was given was get a restraining order on this woman and on and on. But nobody will do anything because she claims she has an abusive past. I can't get the courts or anybody to do shit to stop her from showing up were I am at. Just tonight I had to video a singing competition in a very large theater with a panel of judges and hundreds of patron. I alway work the camera that covers the judges and then the stage. I have double duty because I am good. This woman who is on this site and her name was guessed correctly then deleted sat right behind the judges in the first.aisle She was the first one in the theater , she was first asked to leave. now I don't need any reminders that it is a public place and she has the right. I have heard enough of that shit. When asked to move to another seat by managers of the theater she refused. She absolutely went out of her way to torment me and there is not a damn thing anyone will do about it. She was the abuser and I know know that she abused people in her past. Her children where not thrown out as she claimed on this site because they were abusive. they ran away and refuse contact with their mother because she is abusive. She even had many people on this site fooled. She shows up every where and they are all public events. I am there because my job reqiures me to be in the public. I work in TV, Newspaper and run a Farmers Market. She is using the cover of public events to torment me. AND I AM MAD AS HELL AND NOBODY WILL DO SHIT TO STOP IT. when she was approached to leave she acted like she was some injured bird that just wants to see the show than sits in my camera view all f--king night smiling about getting away with it again. What an asshole.

I can't even think straight sometimes about this i get so mad. I would love to explode and scream and yell the next time she shows up somewhere. But that would only make people think that I am nuts. sorry to ramble but it is impossible to explain how abusive this is. She is screwing the system of woman that really need help. What an asshole

There I am done

[mwc]

Advice i was given was get a restraining order on this woman and on and on. But nobody will do anything because she claims she has an abusive past. I can't get the courts or anybody to do shit to stop her from showing up were I am at.

I'm sorry to hear about your continuing problem...

 

She was the first one in the theater , she was first asked to leave. now I don't need any reminders that it is a public place and she has the right. I have heard enough of that shit.

Ahh...but this is different than the public library (or the street or other public places). This is a private venue. She can only be there if the people that run the place allow her to be there otherwise she can hit the bricks (obviously they would have to refund her money...a small price to pay for your services I imagine). They could simply ban her from any function you are involved with in the future. Talk with them. It's their venue and their right. You have the right to work without such distraction. I think they'll deal (especially since you describe her as uncooperative to the managers...she's not a desirable patron).

 

She shows up every where and they are all public events. I am there because my job reqiures me to be in the public. I work in TV, Newspaper and run a Farmers Market. She is using the cover of public events to torment me. AND I AM MAD AS HELL AND NOBODY WILL DO SHIT TO STOP IT. when she was approached to leave she acted like she was some injured bird that just wants to see the show than sits in my camera view all f--king night smiling about getting away with it again. What an asshole.

Keep a log. Write down all the functions that you are required to be at and where she is also attending. Date, place and time. Take pictures if you can too. Log everything but the point is that you are required to be there and she is not so you are not the one following her. This will help bolster your case so you can try again. Obviously, she shouldn't have to be at all those same functions.

 

I can't even think straight sometimes about this i get so mad. I would love to explode and scream and yell the next time she shows up somewhere. But that would only make people think that I am nuts. sorry to ramble but it is impossible to explain how abusive this is. She is screwing the system of woman that really need help. What an asshole

Understood. But don't confront her. Just log it all. Confronting her will make her case and weaken yours. Have witnesses too if possible. Just gather information that you can point out that she's where you are at but you need to be there and she doesn't. Showing that she's the one out of place helps you.

 

mwc

[Guest christianlongago]

Advice i was given was get a restraining order on this woman and on and on. But nobody will do anything because she claims she has an abusive past. I can't get the courts or anybody to do shit to stop her from showing up were I am at.

I'm sorry to hear about your continuing problem...

 

She was the first one in the theater , she was first asked to leave. now I don't need any reminders that it is a public place and she has the right. I have heard enough of that shit.

Ahh...but this is different than the public library (or the street or other public places). This is a private venue. She can only be there if the people that run the place allow her to be there otherwise she can hit the bricks (obviously they would have to refund her money...a small price to pay for your services I imagine). They could simply ban her from any function you are involved with in the future. Talk with them. It's their venue and their right. You have the right to work without such distraction. I think they'll deal (especially since you describe her as uncooperative to the managers...she's not a desirable patron).

 

She shows up every where and they are all public events. I am there because my job reqiures me to be in the public. I work in TV, Newspaper and run a Farmers Market. She is using the cover of public events to torment me. AND I AM MAD AS HELL AND NOBODY WILL DO SHIT TO STOP IT. when she was approached to leave she acted like she was some injured bird that just wants to see the show than sits in my camera view all f--king night smiling about getting away with it again. What an asshole.

Keep a log. Write down all the functions that you are required to be at and where she is also attending. Date, place and time. Take pictures if you can too. Log everything but the point is that you are required to be there and she is not so you are not the one following her. This will help bolster your case so you can try again. Obviously, she shouldn't have to be at all those same functions.

 

I can't even think straight sometimes about this i get so mad. I would love to explode and scream and yell the next time she shows up somewhere. But that would only make people think that I am nuts. sorry to ramble but it is impossible to explain how abusive this is. She is screwing the system of woman that really need help. What an asshole

Understood. But don't confront her. Just log it all. Confronting her will make her case and weaken yours. Have witnesses too if possible. Just gather information that you can point out that she's where you are at but you need to be there and she doesn't. Showing that she's the one out of place helps you.

 

mwc

[Guest christianlongago]

Thankyou for the private venue info. The thing is I work for a local cable TV access station, this event was taped to be re-broadcast in this town. The evidence is there of her being at the theater. She will be on local TV seating and standing directly behind the judges that was my job to video. It will be public record that she was there. I had to deal with her all night long. I had an emotional breakdown because of her abuse and having to put up with this crap is just wrong. Some of the public venues she shows up to it is my job to be there. Example I am the local farmers market manager, that is a job, she comes and sits with these people that aren't even her friends. They don't understand way she visits them but they told me that she has obvious problems so they let her hang with them. This is my job, I have taken this farmers market for a 3 or 4 vendor event to at least 12 and it is now an exciting mid-week event. I have to be there she does not. But she is playing the public event card just like she played the abuse and christian brainwashing card. she is a liar, stoker and abuser with evil intent. Since I am that manager and responsible party I this week am going to try to have her band from the farmers market with a no trespass order. It is public but it is my work place so we will see how that goes.

Some people that just now catch on to this topic won't understand what this has to do with being an ex-christian, to those I apologize. I had no idea that the conversation would turn this way and I did not think that this sort of abuse would continue. I came to this site because the woman use to post erer and look for support in her life. For those that figured out who she was it should be all to apparent that she lied to all of you. Maybe she really thinks her problems were caused by her christian upbringing and that she was abused to the past. But how do those past events make her treat me in this way. the answer is simple her christian upbringing had nothing to do with her problems. She used, abused, this site. She had people thinking she was some poor damaged ex-christian. What does what she has done to me have anything to do with being an ex-christian. NOTHING. And that is what i was looking for. You peple that responed back to me have helped me as much as any therapists I have talked to. I got help here because I told the truth, She was looking for help her but through lies and false stories of her past. Ex-christian has nothing to do with any of this. Thankyou all!!!!!!!

[Guest]

6. and last. You shouldn't love someone that doesn't want love or even have the capability to accept that love. It wears you out and you become almost desperate to please. I know full well.

 

I just finished doing sound for a play entitled 4.48 Psychosis. It was a show about depression and sucide . The main character in one scene was in her therapist's office and the doctor said to her:

 

"You'll be fine. I know you will. The people I worry about are the one's who hate themselves so much they will not let anyone else love them either. Those are the one's I worry about."

 

Just reading the second page of posts today made me think of that scene and line. It sounds like she hates herself and/or her life so much she refuses to allow anyone else to care for or love her...

[Guest christianlongago]

Thankyou for the private venue info. The thing is I work for a local cable TV access station, this event was taped to be re-broadcast in this town. The evidence is there of her being at the theater. She will be on local TV seating and standing directly behind the judges that was my job to video. It will be public record that she was there. I had to deal with her all night long. I had an emotional breakdown because of her abuse and having to put up with this crap is just wrong. Some of the public venues she shows up to it is my job to be there. Example I am the local farmers market manager, that is a job, she comes and sits with these people that aren't even her friends. They don't understand way she visits them but they told me that she has obvious problems so they let her hang with them. This is my job, I have taken this farmers market for a 3 or 4 vendor event to at least 12 and it is now an exciting mid-week event. I have to be there she does not. But she is playing the public event card just like she played the abuse and christian brainwashing card. she is a liar, stoker and abuser with evil intent. Since I am that manager and responsible party I this week am going to try to have her band from the farmers market with a no trespass order. It is public but it is my work place so we will see how that goes.

Some people that just now catch on to this topic won't understand what this has to do with being an ex-christian, to those I apologize. I had no idea that the conversation would turn this way and I did not think that this sort of abuse would continue. I came to this site because the woman use to post erer and look for support in her life. For those that figured out who she was it should be all to apparent that she lied to all of you. Maybe she really thinks her problems were caused by her christian upbringing and that she was abused to the past. But how do those past events make her treat me in this way. the answer is simple her christian upbringing had nothing to do with her problems. She used, abused, this site. She had people thinking she was some poor damaged ex-christian. What does what she has done to me have anything to do with being an ex-christian. NOTHING. And that is what i was looking for. You peple that responed back to me have helped me as much as any therapists I have talked to. I got help here because I told the truth, She was looking for help her but through lies and false stories of her past. Ex-christian has nothing to do with any of this. Thankyou all!!!!!!!

[Guest christianlongago]

I started this post way back in April as a way of finding out more about ex-christian views and found way more. The abuse which I suffered from the before mentioned lady has been unbelievable. The details are far to many to address here properly but the end result you my find interesting. I have fully broken free of her hold and have nothing but the friendship and trust of so many people. She however faces criminal harassment charges. I filed those charges three weeks ago and there is a 30 day continuance pending her staying away from me and getting emotional help. Even after this time I could still have her charged and face trail, there is plenty or evidence and people are anxious to testify on my be-half. I guess the point in the end was the lady was all along hiding behind the belief that her problems were because of some issues with her religous up-bringing and brain washing. No they were not, she is an abusive person without the excuse of chriantain brainwashing. For the first time she now must face the legal system as the defendent. She is very nervous about the outcome but it is not some thing that I really can control it is some thing brought on only by herself. Thr girl cried wolf way to often and blamed too many others now she has to deal with someone like me that will fight hard to prove I was correct and innocent all along.

The combination of all my evidence, my determination, the flustration of the district court and the fact she has admitted lying all along does equal into a favorable outcome for her. She played the victim for too long. The story got old and she messed with me. I have enormous amounts of faith but not faith in the religous sense I have faith in the truth.

Thankyou again for letting me vent back when I stared this discussion.

[mwc]

Thanks for the follow-up.

 

Hopefully things will get a little better for you now, she'll actually take the "hint" as it were and once this will all be over. I'm glad you were finally able to get the right people to listen and take your situation seriously.

 

Unfortunately, there are crazy people no matter where you go or what you do. Religion seems geared to mask it though. It didn't help that she tried blaming them, us, you and apparently whatever or whoever she could think of to pin her issues on. It just makes us, as ex-xians look bad, but it must have made your life a hell.

 

I scanned back over this thread to refresh my mind and I remember her and all of this. I really did feel for you. So, again, I'm glad you took the time to stop by and leave this little note.

 

Stop back anytime.

 

mwc

[R. S. Martin]

I echo mwc. Thanks for the update. I am glad you can get protection from the abuse. I would not count on her ever accepting or acknowledging that she did anything wrong. Some people seem incapable or unwilling of such an insight, and consequently never change. The best we can do is protect ourselves from them.