Guest GlitterSno Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 The church that I Sunday Schooled and attended for a few years, right before I deconverted, is closing. A part of me was actually sad. There are people there that DO have a good heart and I know that it will crush them...especially those that have been there for decades. There was discussion of merging with other area churches of the same denomination and they were unwanted. My husband assumed it had to do with financial issues. Since they did not have the funds to keep their church going, you know what I mean? Anyway, I have been pondering visiting the church before it shuts the doors....ONLY to see the people..the people that I liked. The pastor that was there when I attended is no longer there.... *which is wonderful* so it might not be so bad. I am torn because I am not sure if I can sit through the bullshit. I am NOT going back to the religion, believe me, I am SOOOOO done with it. Been done with it. In your opinion, do you think it would be a good thing to go back one last time before they close or should I just leave it alone? I do not want to give them the idea that I am returning to the faith....there is no way in hell...if there were such a place..ha ha. You know what I mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LtJayson Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 Boy, I wish I had the answer to this one...but since I am contemplating the same thing about the same church, I guess I am no help! Any help out there for a few confused people??? lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ogilvy Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 i think it'd be ok to go back one last time. it might give you closure, and you'll be safe, becos you wont be able to go back anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefranden Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 I don't know. Should an ex-junkie visit a crack house because it is closing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eejay Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 I don't know. Should an ex-junkie visit a crack house because it is closing? I kind of agree with this point of view, but obviously not everyone has had as bad a time wih religion as I have. For me to go into a church, I'd have to be subdued, tied and forced. If I get taken in dead (I hope not), that could also be a possibilty, but otherwise....I AIN'T GOING!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manditag in AK Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 I would ask if the church in question has any social times, or any 'less-servicey' times. Our church, for example, well the one I most recently attended, had a social snack time between services. Or sometimes there are guest speakers, or concerts. I think if you went to one of those it could be easier. but even if not I think I would still go. Not so much to pay attention to the service, but just to have your own personal farewell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysealclubber Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 It can't hurt much to go back before it closes. Sounds like you have specific people in mind that you would like to see before the membership scatters. Go for the closure, or to get some phone numbers or whatever, and be done with it. No need to worry about giving the wrong impression IMO, the rumor/gossip mill will probably be busy with bigger concerns. I like Manditag's suggestion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 In your opinion, do you think it would be a good thing to go back one last time before they close or should I just leave it alone? Go back. It will give you a chance to yell out "My god, my god! Why have you forsaken us!" During the sermon. Or, if you prefer, "Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead. Etc..." You could combine them I suppose by shouting the first, laughing, then singing the other on your way down the aisle on your way out. mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GlitterSno Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 I am starting to lean more toward not going back to visit. I am sure that I would be plagued with questions and pressured about my non-belief. It is true, there are a few people in mind that I would like to see, but I am not sure if I am willing to subject myself to this again. I think I am with Chef on this one. Thank you all for your replies! I appreciate it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongo Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 You don't talk like a crack addict so visiting the crack house should not be an issue. So I'm not with the Chef unless you feel you are at risk. As you have indicated, I'm so over religion that I feel completely impervious to this tripe. As an example I went to dinner as the lone heathen under the suspicion that I was going to be subjected to an intervention. I made a joke about my suspicion at the beginning of the dinner and so that was off the table right away. As well, I stared down Peter Youngren during an Altar Call at my nephew's babble college graduation when he insisted "every head to bow and every eye closed". (That was difficult but I was willing to "go to the mat") Youngren was the asshat who gave the altar call that I had responded to when I made my public committment to Christ at age 17. However... to me it really boils down to two prime questions: 1 - Will it benefit me? (Will I enjoy myself? Will I learn something?) 2 - Will it benefit someone else? Personally I'm not sure I'd enjoy myself but I have to admit, if the PAOC assembly I attended was closing there is something about that kind of train wreck I'd find interesting. However, I might be inclined to stop by the next day and sit on the steps infront of a locked church door and have a little celebration(coffee and doughnut). I might even break out in a rendition of "My Way" to entertain the squirrels. I wouldn't over complicate this and I suggest you simply do whatever *you* want. Mongo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 I agree with the "do what you want" advice. I personally wouldn't worry about what the churchies think. I guess I don't know if you're out as an atheist. In my case, I'm not out as an atheist. Just as a non-church-goer. On a Sunday morning you'll find my either in bed or in front of my computer screen. I did go back to church a few times as a nonChristian but they didn't know my status. Some nice li'l ol' ladies were "so glad you're back." It was nice to be welcomed but then I realized what was not being said--they were glad I had returned not only to church but to God. Hmmm. Well, okay. If that's what they think. No need to enlighten them. My thoughts are my own personal private business. My lifestyle and values had not changed so I did not feel like a hypocrite; wasn't deceiving anyone in any practical way that counted or hurt anyone on the level of real life in the real world. What I had gone for was the community and music. But I found it all to be empty, now that I no longer shared their beliefs. At the same time, it did bring closure. I don't regret having gone. I must say I like Mongo's idea, esp. if it's the place you want to say good-bye to rather than the people. Glittersno said: I am starting to lean more toward not going back to visit. I am sure that I would be plagued with questions and pressured about my non-belief. Somehow I'd missed the detail that they know about your deconversion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessica Sideways Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 I don't know. Should an ex-junkie visit a crack house because it is closing? I kind of agree with this point of view, but obviously not everyone has had as bad a time wih religion as I have. For me to go into a church, I'd have to be subdued, tied and forced. If I get taken in dead (I hope not), that could also be a possibilty, but otherwise....I AIN'T GOING!!! Do grown adults believe in santa claus evn though they take their kids to the mall and see them? Absolutely not! Being an ex-christian gives you the perspective that you need, so you can definitely tell that this is bullshit. Having said that, there is no way I'd go but if you want to go - I barely see the harm as long as you make it clear that you are coing to see THE people, not to be sucked into the religion. Hope I helped! ~ Jessica Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MesaGman Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 You should go back, as a statement of your triumph of getting off Opiates. Heroine is hard to kick, and you kicked the habit! your money that would have gone to the dealer (the Bishop in forms of Tithes), is in your hands, being used to heal your body from years of drug abuse. You're helping rehabilitate habitual users of this mind altering drug. So go back to the church, and have the satisfaction watching the drug gang den close. And be glad that there are less drug gang members. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MathGeek Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 Churches can close before the entire congregation dies out, that's a new one on me. Why is it closing? Did it fail to turn a profit last year? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LtJayson Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Sadly, MattGeek...that's pretty much the case. Like Sno said, nobody else wanted them since they couldn't help much with tithes. They have been fighting for years to pay the denomination the apportionments as required. So, alas, they close because of MONEY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piprus Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Churches are businesses. The church is closing because it went out of business, failed financially. No different than a seller of furniture or appliances that went out of business because they could not compete in the market. That's no reason to become sentimental. You owe the bankrupt church/business nothing. Ignore it and move on with your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Very, very shortly after I deconverted, I went to Europe. I had always wanted to see the big cathedrals, and I got to see them in Rome, Florence, and Vienna. I was really afraid that I would go into these grand cathedrals and have an emotional freak-out breakdown. I didn't. They were nothing but museums to me. In fact, in Florence my girlfriend had to smack my hand because I was idly munching on some Italian version of Cheetohs and was getting snack dust all over the marble floor. In my case it would probably freak the shit out of me if I went to the church I went to and saw my old crowd. So far I am successfully avoiding them and I would like to keep it that way. It's to the point that they don't inquire after me, and I don't want to walk right onto their turf. The building itself would have no effect on me, though. I could go to the big megachurch here in Vegas (yes, we actually have one of those, just off the 95 when you're going out to Lake Mead) to entertain my morbid curiosity and I don't think it would be any sweat. Still, it's my old crowd that I don't want to run into. Maybe years from now I could manage to see them one at a time (well, only some of them; the others would go ape-shit), because I still like them and care about them... but damned if I'll wander into any place where they're gathered together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MesaGman Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Very, very shortly after I deconverted, I went to Europe. I had always wanted to see the big cathedrals, and I got to see them in Rome, Florence, and Vienna. I was really afraid that I would go into these grand cathedrals and have an emotional freak-out breakdown. I didn't. They were nothing but museums to me. In fact, in Florence my girlfriend had to smack my hand because I was idly munching on some Italian version of Cheetohs and was getting snack dust all over the marble floor. In my case it would probably freak the shit out of me if I went to the church I went to and saw my old crowd. So far I am successfully avoiding them and I would like to keep it that way. It's to the point that they don't inquire after me, and I don't want to walk right onto their turf. The building itself would have no effect on me, though. I could go to the big megachurch here in Vegas (yes, we actually have one of those, just off the 95 when you're going out to Lake Mead) to entertain my morbid curiosity and I don't think it would be any sweat. Still, it's my old crowd that I don't want to run into. Maybe years from now I could manage to see them one at a time (well, only some of them; the others would go ape-shit), because I still like them and care about them... but damned if I'll wander into any place where they're gathered together. >>> I know what you mean with the old churches being tourist attractions, instead of sanctuaries of healing. While at World Youth Day 2002, in Toronto, these places were open, and people were flashing pictures, kinda wrecks the purpose of trying to go there to be spiritually renewed, or have a holy experience. Instead of seeing yucky people with camera and Gidano shopping bags. Not to mention the modern signs that show the times the services are at, with the gift shop to the side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jincks013 Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 A church is a building, has walls, a roof, supports but it is just a building. I think what you miss is the people, its not the building that is important but the social relationships which took place in it. I'm all for the closure aspect but also think that its generally a bad idea to go back into the midst of the addicted when you've gotten over the addiction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 7, 2008 Super Moderator Share Posted May 7, 2008 If only they all would close. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GlitterSno Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 Somehow I'd missed the detail that they know about your deconversion. One person knows that I am a non-believer now. When I told her, it was like I had mentioned a person died and it was the most horrific news I could have delivered to her. She refused to believe it. Not sure if she enlightened other members of the news or not. I am sorry if it seems like I am trying to complicate things, I am truly not trying to. I was torn about going because some of the people I do miss seeing. I feel bad for some of the people there because they have put their whole heart and lives into the church. I guess I am being sympathetic and now that I am thinking more about it, that seems to be the motivation that I was feeling. Thanks again to everyone that posted. I do appreciate the input. I think I am just going to let sleeping dogs lie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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