You Know You're An Ex-christian When:

[jdog]

these posts are so funny

 

You know you're an ex-christian when:-

 

...you can watch Lewis Black or Chris Rock, without feeling that you need to confess and repent for listening to such 'filthy' language

 

... you turn down the free xtian newspaper or other free xtian reading material (I'd always read those things)

 

... you say 'whatever' when you drive pass a sign with an xtian message on it

[Antlerman]

... when you look at this statue and instead of feeling conflicted that you're supposed to somehow find it inspirational, all you see is gashed up meaty bits and consider it so revolting it's laughable.

 

[dunany77]

You Know You're An Ex-christian When:

 

1) You can finally admit out loud that you loved every Quenton Tarantino movie that you secretly watched without telling anyone!

 

2) You snicker and make faces at the answering machine as you listen to the voice of your pastor saying "Hey guys, I was just thinking about you and I was wondering how everything's going!"

 

3) You realize at last that you are Jedi Knight who has seriously lost his way...like seriously. (sound of light saber whizzes through the air)

 

4) News of a killer tsunami invokes feelings of sadness, confusion and helplessness INSTEAD of feelings of gladness (that god's wrath was made manifest), certainty (that god has a plan) and hope (that god will send missionaries to "save" the survivors).

 

5) Whiskey tastes goooooooooooooooddddddddd!!

 

6) All the Sundays on your calendar are booked up with FUN things to do!

 

7) You can finally take your 4 year old daughter to the museum to look at the dinosaurs.

 

8) You no longer have to seriously consider whether Adam and Eve had belly buttons or not.

 

9) You can read horoscopes and fortune cookies without that "twinge" at the back of your neck that said: "Watch it now! This could lead to the path of darkness!!".

 

10) You no longer thank jesus for ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

[OnceConvinced]

You pray for a safe trip and then realise afterwards that there's no need to thank God, because you were pretty much assured of getting there safely anyway.

 

You pray for sunny weather, get it, thank God for it and then wonder why God would grant you your request while he gave some other poor bastard crappy weather.

 

You begin to question whether "turning the other cheek" and "blessing those who curse you", really is an effective way of dealing with bullies.

 

You start to realise you don't have to believe everything your pastor tells you.

 

You start to question whether athiests really are the vile, evil, murderous, satanic people your parents and sunday school teachers claim they are

 

You start to question how "soon" can mean "over 2000 years from now".

 

You read the OT and begin to question how people can still serously believe God is merciful, loving and just.

 

You start noticing all the flaws, contradictions, absurdities and inaccuracies in the bible and can no longer be bothered trying to explain them away.

 

Your bible provides more laughs than serious study material.

 

You find out a celebrity you're lusting after is a Christian and instead of rejoicing, you feel bummed out instead.

 

You can masturbate without feeling like some sick pervert.

[MesaGman]

You can finally play World of Warcraft, play Dungeons and Dragons, and read Dragon Riders of Pern, like the Fangirl you've always wanted to be. or Fanboy..... and damn.... these characters are finnnnnneeeeeeee.

[dunany77]

You can finally play World of Warcraft, play Dungeons and Dragons, and read Dragon Riders of Pern, like the Fangirl you've always wanted to be. or Fanboy..... and damn.... these characters are finnnnnneeeeeeee.

Oh man, Anne McCaffrey rocks! I remember reading the dragon rider series way back in high school, before I offered up my brain to Jesus H. Fucking Christ! The White Dragon was my favorite, I'll have to re-read them again. Thanks for reminding me! Some good summer reading for the cottage!

 

=>You know you're an ex-christian when you say Grace at dinner by cracking open a beer, belching like and ogre, saying "Screw You!" to whoever or whatever happens to be watching from above.

[MathGeek]

When you think anything written by Jim Croce should be considered a church hymn.

[OnceConvinced]

I had so much fun with my last list, I had to come up with another

 

- the thought of guys like Hitler, possibly being in Heaven due to repenting on his deathbed, makes you feel sick.

 

- you begin to wonder why the preacher needs music playing in the background to add impact to the last few minutes of his sermon.

 

- you start to realise that God speak and devil speak are exactly the same as positive and negative thinking.

 

- You watch Star Trek and begin to think that having to deal with the Borg would be worth it just to live in a world where the human race no longer practises religion.

 

- You begin to wonder whether the pages of your bible would make good toilet paper.

 

- You can say "My God!" or "For Christ's sake!" without thinking you're taking the lords name in vain.

[Sky Dancer]

I'm not meaning to fan the flames here. I'm a Christian who is questioning things and probably in the early part of the de-conversion process. I am wondering why you show so much disdain and contempt towards Christians. Everyone is going to believe what they want to believe. Can't you simply live your life and peace and be content in what you believe in? The intolerance you are showing towards Christians seems to me no different than the intolerance Christains often show toward other people who don't fit into their worldview. If I'm missing something, please enlighten me. I just don't get it.

[Ouroboros]

I'm not meaning to fan the flames here. I'm a Christian who is questioning things and probably in the early part of the de-conversion process. I am wondering why you show so much disdain and contempt towards Christians. Everyone is going to believe what they want to believe. Can't you simply live your life and peace and be content in what you believe in? The intolerance you are showing towards Christians seems to me no different than the intolerance Christains often show toward other people who don't fit into their worldview. If I'm missing something, please enlighten me. I just don't get it.

Personally, I do have Christian friends. For me, this place is where I can vent my frustration and innermost feelings towards Christianity and the insanity of Christians in general. And I think there are other people on the board with similar situation. So what you see here, intolerance and rudeness, might not be how we are in real life.

 

I have even met with one Christian from this board once, after I had chewed him out online! We ate breakfast together...

 

So don't judge the person completely based on their posts.

[white_raven23]

The intolerance you are showing towards Christians seems to me no different than the intolerance Christains often show toward other people who don't fit into their worldview. If I'm missing something, please enlighten me. I just don't get it.

 

Welcome Sky Dancer!

 

Here is ONE difference. Are you by chance a member of Christianforums by any chance? Have you ever been a member of an online christian forum?

 

You speak of two types of intolerance as though it is cut from the same cloth. If anything, and as tongue in cheek as it may sound, we are more intolerant OF intolerance than anything.

 

Several of us at one time or another, joined a christian forum in the hopes of having our disturbing questions answered, our fears calmed, our worries comforted. I mean....holy shit! We were finding very distressing discrepancies within the books popularly held to be the Word of God! We were witnessing a deep divide between the "love your neighbor" message from the pulpit, and the petty clique-ish exclusion of certain church members by others within the very congregations listening to the sermon! After being told all our lives that Christianity is not only the RIGHT way, but the ONLY way...here many of us were realizing we were about to LEAVE it! It's a very "What THE...!!! I'm walking off a damn cliff and I can't stop!!!" feeling.

 

Many of us tried to "save" ourselves. We asked questions on the christian forums, we spoke to our trusted christian friends, we spoke to our church leaders.

 

We got reprimanded and banned from the forums.

Our trusted friends talked behind our backs and started looking at us as though we were suddenly dangerous.

Our church leaders talked in circles until our heads were spinning, and as we left their offices...we realized our direct questions were talked AROUND and not actually answered.

 

Many christians come here with the assumption that we were somehow "hurt" by church in the past...and while this may or may not be true for others, I found it really wasn't personal injury that helped me walk away. It was the questions I was asking that were being shunned and denied that bothered me a lot more. My parents raised me in the belief that every honest question deserves an honest answer. And the questions I was asking were getting treated like leper's breath. I find that abhorrently unacceptable. Without questions there is no growth or personal development. For anyone to deliberately block that is what I consider an intellecual crime.

 

No, I cannot tolerate people who would actively do that to themselves and others. But I can't be pissed at them all the time, in a lighter mood, I smile and make fun instead, as do others, as they have done in this thread.

 

A christian would say: "I'm saved, not perfect."

 

We would just say: "We aren't perfect, just human"

 

Does this make any sense?

[Neo-skeptic]

A few items I'd like to add...

 

1) You finally can enjoy "evil" bands like Black Sabbath and Metallica (old Metallica, mind you) without feeling that twinge of "Doth this please the Lawd?"

 

2) You realize how badly Xtian music sucks, and how they always seem two or three fads behind. (Oh no, rap-rock still lives!) Also, no more Michael W. Smith or Steven Curtis Chapman.

 

3) You forget what the inside of your church looks like.

 

4) You can appreciate George Carlin (RIP) without feeling the need to repent.

 

5) You finally can admit to yourself that "sexual immorality" is actually really fun without feeling guilty.

[decafaholic]

Sky dancer,

I agree with the above poster in that I am not confrontational and disrespectful in real life. ExC is a place where I come to blow off steam so I don't do it in real life. Just like how in certain circles of friends I watch what I say and in other circles I know I can say whatever I want.

 

It's great to have you here by the way!

[OnceConvinced]

I'm not meaning to fan the flames here. I'm a Christian who is questioning things and probably in the early part of the de-conversion process. I am wondering why you show so much disdain and contempt towards Christians. Everyone is going to believe what they want to believe. Can't you simply live your life and peace and be content in what you believe in? The intolerance you are showing towards Christians seems to me no different than the intolerance Christains often show toward other people who don't fit into their worldview. If I'm missing something, please enlighten me. I just don't get it.

One of the reasons for this site is to help in the rehabilitation process of breaking free from Christianity. To be able to laugh and joke about Christianity is one of those things that helps. For most of us we would have never dared to mock anything about Christianity while we were Christians for fear of being considered blaphemers or being afraid of what God might do. Now we can be free to say anything we like and this site here is the ideal place, because it's specifically for ex-Christians so therefore we should have that freedom to say anything against relgion we like without having to worry about offending Christians.

 

But like others here, it's different in the real world. Heck for me it's different in other forums where there are plenty of Christians.

[hollygolightly]

... when you can laugh out loud while watching family guy... especially that episode where they surmise that jesus's talents were greatly overestimated (as the flash back to him doing the old seperating/reattaching thumb trick) hahaha it makes me laugh even thinking about it.

[Sky Dancer]

Well, I guess I am ligthening up a bit, cus I found this absolutely hilarious. It is a catroon making fun of God and the bible Check it out!

 

[Ouroboros]

Yeah, I watched it. It's a great vid.

 

The guy that made it has done some other really good videos. Some of them sounds perfectly like any apologist that comes here. It's scary how similar he can make it, but it's all parody. When sarcasm and parody sounds like the real thing, you know there's something wrong with the "real thing."

[Sky Dancer]

Yeah, I watched it. It's a great vid.

 

The guy that made it has done some other really good videos. Some of them sounds perfectly like any apologist that comes here. It's scary how similar he can make it, but it's all parody. When sarcasm and parody sounds like the real thing, you know there's something wrong with the "real thing."

 

Well, I didn't realize the guy who created it was actually an apologist. I thought it was making fun of God and his ways. I found it funny because I am finding it hard to believe there really is a God like that.

[Ouroboros]

Yeah, I watched it. It's a great vid.

 

The guy that made it has done some other really good videos. Some of them sounds perfectly like any apologist that comes here. It's scary how similar he can make it, but it's all parody. When sarcasm and parody sounds like the real thing, you know there's something wrong with the "real thing."

 

Well, I didn't realize the guy who created it was actually an apologist. I thought it was making fun of God and his ways. I found it funny because I am finding it hard to believe there really is a God like that.

No, you misunderstood. He's not an apologist. He's a comedian. He's non-Christian, and he's making these as parodies. My comment was that he's so good making these parodies, that they sound like the real deal. There's almost no way to tell the different between his sarcastic presentation of Christians, and the real Christians that come here and believe in the Bible. It shows that something is seriously wrong with Christianity, when you can make fun of it, and the joke sounds exactly like the real.