Airplane Crash "teambuilding" Game...

[Guest Zenobia]

I work for a large corporation with around 300,000 employees natonwide. From time to time, our managers are instructed by well-meaning higher-ups to do little corporate "teambuilding" games with the employees.

 

These are usually little forays into stupidity that waste an hour or so of company time with meaningless bullshit that's supposed to increase production but has the opposite effect since... well , it's an hour of company time filled with meaningless bullshit. We don't complain too much though, because it's a great excuse to get away from work for a bit and have a little "fun" (although the corporate definition of "fun" does differ greatly from most people's personal definition).

 

Anyway, these little exersizes are usually silly trivia games such as "guess which co-worker is really a natural blonde" or "guess who once met Mel Brookes in Siberia"...

 

But recently these games took an ominous turn when we spent an hour working out solutions to an imaginary scenario.

 

The manager split us up into groups of three, making sure each group included at least two people who really loathe one another. We were then given a sheet of paper describing the "scenario" and we were supposed to come to agreement on courses of action.

 

In the scenario, a plane crashes somewhere in the ocean, with about a eight survivors and a lifeboat built for half that number. We were supposed to decide who gets to go on the lifeboat and who gets to stay behind and drown. The survivors included:

 

1. A family of 4 (mom, dad and two kidlets)

2. The pilot, whose expert flying is the only reason there are any survivors at all, whose hobby is sailing yachts but is also rumored to be a recovered alcoholic

3. A disabled person who can't swim

4. A doctor whose specialty is gastrointerology

5. A bright 20-something guy who is planning to go to college

 

The groups of employees argued and haggled for an hour of who gets to live and who gets to die.

 

My group consisted of me, the pagan team scapegoat valued only because I work harder than almost anyone, a Jehovah's Witness who likes bringing watchtower magazines to work even though it's against the corporate handbook, and a 25-year-old blonde barbie doll with an extreme narsisitic complex. Other groups consisted of more Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons, Catholics, one other neo-pagan type, and a couple quiet employees who keep their beliefs to themselves and are fairly nondescript.

 

All of the Christians immediately thought the pilot should die, since he supposedly had a drinking problem - even though he saved the survivors' lives, is skilled at watercraft and the drinking problem was just a rumor. In my group, the JW argued strongly that he must die - even if it meant the survivors would be in a raft in the ocean with absolutely no seafaring knowledge.

 

The other JW had issues with the pilot also - she just didn't trust him because "He's an ALKI"i - even though it was a RUMOR and he had QUIT drinking, etc.... That wasn't good enough, it outweighed every other good point he had and so he had to die.

 

The Catholic wanted to keep the pilot but leave the family behind... (go figure, I thought catholics were all about saving babies...)

 

I knew the manager was watching to make sure I "got along" with barbie doll (who she knows I loathe) so I just "went with the flow." It's a freaking game about teambuilding, so I worked at building a "team" - ie, agreed and compromised with barbie, who surprisingly agreed with me that the pilot should live. But the JW would not relent. We brought up his seafaring skills, but she shot that down since it is only a "hobby." She would not relent, so Barbie and I gave in and let the JW have her way - more in the interest of "team-building" and because it's a stupid imaginary situation that we didn't really give a crap about. Barbie and I, who LOATHE each other, were able to COMPROMISE and get along - but the JW had to have her way!

 

How very, very revealing to see just how judgemental the xtian employees truly are! Especially the JW's. So - if you ever had a problem with alcohol - even if you REALIZED it was a problem and took steps to STOP IT, that doesn't count - and no matter how many good things you do with your life, you still deserve to DIE because you FUCKED UP at one point in your life.

 

WHAT A LOAD OF BULLCRAP!

 

...And to top it off that bitch JW complained that I was "talking too loud" today - my third day back on the job after a leave of absense caring for a husband who has a DEADLY HEART CONDITION AND IS BEING PUT ON THE TRANSPLANT LIST. Instead of "How is your husband, I hope he is ok" it was "you talk too loud." Buy some freaking noise-cancelling earphones, bitch!

 

Needless to say I loathe barbie a lot less now and loathe the JW a lot more.

 

Moral of the story: If the law ever allows Xtians to burn you at the stake, THEY WILL NOT HESITATE.

[DucorpsToo]

First, I just wanted to send positive vibes to your husband.

 

I'm not that familiar with team-building excercises..even though I used to work for a large, well-known pharmaceutical company (hint...Viagra). All I can say is YIKES!...concerning the excercise about the plane-crash. Just from your description, I can easily see how things can go south really fast. Also, I'm trying to get a visual of how that particular excersise would proceed if instead of being conducted in the workplace, it were conducted in an informal setting, such as a cocktail party (hint "alcohol being served"). I don't think that I like what my mind's eye is seeing, LOL!

[Guest Zenobia]

First, I just wanted to send positive vibes to your husband.

 

I'm not that familiar with team-building excercises..even though I used to work for a large, well-known pharmaceutical company (hint...Viagra). All I can say is YIKES!...concerning the excercise about the plane-crash. Just from your description, I can easily see how things can go south really fast. Also, I'm trying to get a visual of how that particular excersise would proceed if instead of being conducted in the workplace, it were conducted in an informal setting, such as a cocktail party (hint "alcohol being served"). I don't think that I like what my mind's eye is seeing, LOL!

 

 

OMG that would be an awesome psychological experiment - or just great to do to watch people. Hahahaha! I can totally picture a cocktail party with pretentious 20-somethings all going off on each other.LOL!!

 

BTW I love the fruits!!! thats funny - did you do that?

[DucorpsToo]

^^^^^^Oh, you're talking about the fruits in my sig line? I didn't do those.., I actually saw this pic elswhere on the net and thought it was cute.

[Casey]

Team building exercise eh? In the British Army, especially in the Artillery in the old days, if the authorities thought you'd nothing better to do, they'd have you outside, picking up rocks and whitewashing them. The British comedian Spike Milligan was in the Artillery during WW2 and describes doing this. Now I don't know how it worked as far as "team building" went, but it sure as hell made nice decorative borders for flag poles. As a popular song of the day had it (I don't know whether it was penned by Milligan or someone else, perhaps Bert Hansel):

 

A Gunner was outside a lunatic asylum one day, busy picking up stones

When along came a lunatic and said to him, "Good mornin' Gunner Jones,

An' 'ow much a week d'you git for doing that"? "Thirty bob", he cried.

"Wot, thirty bob a week, wiv' a woife an' kids to keep?

Coom inside y'silly booger coom inside!

 

"Coom inside y'silly booger coom inside, y'ought 'ave a bit more sense.

Workin' for your living, take m' tip, act a little screwy and become a loonatick.

Oh y' git your meals most reg'lar an' a brand new suit besides.

Wot's thirty bob a week wiv' a woife an' kids to keep?

Coom inside y'silly booger coom inside!""

 

Casey

 

Thirty bob = a Pound and ten Shillings a week, about $1 US a day at the time or a bit less.

[DarthOkkata]

I've heard about this team building activity before. It's designed to get you to argue with each other. Think of it as a stress evaluation for a group. It's basically making a lab rat out of you and your fellow resources, to see how far you'll take an argument.

 

Seeing who works well with who, whether or not members of the group become more argumentative with another particular member.

 

Everyone is supposed to have a positive, and negative attribute, not just the pilot. It's something of a personality and mild logic test as well. It's supposed to be about prioritizing, not empathy. The sympathetic elements, children, religious, just starting life, etc, are there to see how much you let your emotions govern your decision making abilities.

 

A lot of companies give this test as a workshop in group management training courses.

 

The group is supposed to weigh the positive and negative traits of each 'survivor', and form the best team to survive whatever the life or death situation presents.

 

It sounds like this test was administered wrong by someone who missed the point and probably read about it in a trade magazine or something.

 

On a side note, unless the bar cart can be used as a flotation device, how is the pilot's alcoholism relevant? [i won the argument with that when I had to do this.] I also chose to drown the nun, as it was mentioned by the version I took that she would 'pray for god to protect us, and offer spiritual comfort' rather than doing something useful.

 

The kids had to go as well. Trust me, you don't want to have a bored child in a space as fragile and tense as a life raft, much less a pair of them. It would screw them up forever if they lived anyway.

 

The doctor, college age kid, and Pilot would all make my raft crew. Leaves an empty spot, as both parents would probably insist on taking the children, the disabled person would likely fill in the last slot. That would depend on the age of the children. A teenager I might allow on board instead of the disabled person.

 

I know it sounds cruel, but the children wouldn't be mature enough to handle the situation, and would be more likely to create a dangerous situation later on.

 

Plus, if it came down to it, I'd feel better about eating a disabled adult.

[Mongo]

Needless to say I loathe barbie a lot less now and loathe the JW a lot more.

 

Ha ha ha!

 

Moral of the story: If the law ever allows Xtians to burn you at the stake, THEY WILL NOT HESITATE.

 

The law is almost irrelevant.

 

The German constitution was regularly violated during the rise of Hitler in the early 30s.

 

As I read the book, "How Democracy Failed" I am struck by how the language patterns are similar between the right wing Germany of the time and right wing America today.

 

The way the right wing assaults every thing they fear as "liberal" and "elitist" and frames issues with moral language. This appears to be the domain of fascist right wing mind-fuck.

 

So when the day comes, we'll be rounded up, injected with poison and stacked in a defunct mine shaft.

 

And oh... the *next* generation of xtians will blame the atheists for the genocide.

 

Mongo

[Guest Zenobia]

Darth...

 

There were positive and negative attributes for each one, but I forget what they were. LOL... I think the test was administered well enough, but the employees are just not a really "cognitive" bunch, you know? Barbie and I were the most logical of all in our reasonings...heh... the arguements were all mostly dominated by the Xtian "majority" who let moral judgement and sentimentality guide their decison-making. It was very revealing about how my co-workers think! I don't remember there being a nun, but I think there might have been a priest or some-such religious person...

 

Mongo..

 

That is really scary. I live about 10 miles away from a major Aryan "Neo-Nazi" group. Their big leader (Richard Butler) recently died, so they quieted down some, but they are starting to stir up again... they are some fucked-up scary people. They don't believe the holocaust ever happened (!!!) and they think the babble was written for 'white people only'... scary thing is, most xtian evangelicals are not that much different, when you look at them and their moral judgements closely... If there were enough of them, organized and outraged enough, I agree they would flaunt the law and start lynching people. Hell they already have lynched people... *shudder*

[Guest eejay]

Now I know how everyone feels about pilots.

All kidding aside though, it just proves the mentality of the x-tian would allow an innocent person to die, just because they've heard or suspect something they don't particularly approve of.

[Guest Zenobia]

EJ -

 

If you ever fly for a church, just be sure they don't know you drink Or smoke

 

*here's a light*

[Guest Zenobia]

If it had said;

 

The Pilot: whose expert flying is the only reason there are any survivors at all, who was once an alcoholic until he found Jesus and got saved, now volunteers in spare time as a pilot flying to mission fields delivering Bibles.

 

I guarantee all the christians would have wanted to save him.

 

Ain't that the truth! They just have to bring their religion to work. It has to invade everything... they can't leave it in church and just do their fucking jobs. Even in some stupid teambuilding exercise, the xtians HAVE to insert their moral predjudices...

[Guest eejay]

EJ -

 

If you ever fly for a church, just be sure they don't know you drink Or smoke

 

*here's a light*

KA BOOOOMMMM!!! Sorry I didn;t even see that post until a few minute ago.

[Guest Zenobia]

EJ -

 

If you ever fly for a church, just be sure they don't know you drink Or smoke

 

*here's a light*

KA BOOOOMMMM!!! Sorry I didn;t even see that post until a few minute ago.

 

Farts away!!!

[mwc]

If it had said;

 

The Pilot: whose expert flying is the only reason there are any survivors at all, who was once an alcoholic until he found Jesus and got saved, now volunteers in spare time as a pilot flying to mission fields delivering Bibles.

 

I guarantee all the christians would have wanted to save him.

 

Ain't that the truth! They just have to bring their religion to work. It has to invade everything... they can't leave it in church and just do their fucking jobs. Even in some stupid teambuilding exercise, the xtians HAVE to insert their moral predjudices...

It could have even said:

 

The Pilot: whose expert flying is the only reason there are any survivors at all, who is an alcoholic, occasionally does meth, is rumored to be a pedophile (currently under investigation) but he claims to have found Jesus in prison and got saved, now volunteers in spare time as a pilot flying to mission fields delivering Bibles instead of much needed food and medicine.

 

Now that's a xian worth saving.

 

But what does any of this stuff matter. The plain is sinking. You've got moments to fill the rafts and the best place to be is near where the plane went down for the search and rescue. Is there really time to take applications to fill the seats? I've watched the little videos on those planes and they say "In case of a crash, find an exit and force your way out into the little raft or use your smelly seat cushion to float around on."

 

Your other choice is to kill everyone who thinks they're heading to an after/another life since all the others only get one shot and deserve the longest stay on the planet possible. Bye bye JW's.

 

mwc