spidermonkey Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 Tippysweet, I feel for you. I went through something similar when I left my church. My entire social network collapsed. I didn't expect everyone to stay in touch with me, but neither did I expect my good "friends" of several years to turn their backs on me one by one. Funny how a religion that preaches "love one another" causes so much division and strife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ravnostic Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 I'll tell you a story, though it won't give you answers it will let you know you're not alone. When I was a kid, I met a guy in 7th grade, and we became friends and then a bit more than friends. I was gay, he was bi, and we had relations for years during my junior and high school ages. Neither of us were from religious families. Long story short, a girl moved in next door, he liked her, they had sex, her father found out, said he had to marry her or he'd take her far away. He married her. Her family was very religious--her mother was okay, knew I was gay, tried to get me into their religion (followers of Joseph Branham, of Bible Believers; I listened to some tapes and determined he was an uneducated quack.) Her mother invited me inter their home, because it was her belief that her faith protected her family. Couple years go by, my friend doesn't get to see he old friends except me, and then only by sneeking out (he'd call in sick to work, or I'd meet him at work). His wife would find out, and it was my evil gayness (oh, yeah, and the pot) that was destroying her man (incidently, I never slept with him after he married, though at times we wanted to). My friend didn't have the balls to confront her and say 'he's my friend so get over it', so one day I go over while he's at work to sit her down and sort it out. Well, we all know how that turned out, don't we? She said I was possessed, and she didn't want me to infect her kids and she'd appreciate it if I didn't visit with him any more. Since it was a religious belief, I told her I couldn't argue with faith and I would not visit with Scott if she didn't know about it. I took the high road and didn't mention the 'demon' in her husband. Today that conversation would have gone differently, but I was essentially a kid. I cried the day I heard she was pregnant, knowing that he'd probably never leave her. He's still married with her, living in Oregon (got the address from zabasearch.com, thinking of sending a birthday card-he-he!!) So I lost my friend, too, 15 years now. Haven't seen him in 10--and even then, it was at a radio shack and I wasn't recognized. Miss him? Oh, yes. But even though it left scars, time did heal much of the pain. So, even if you never speak with her again, we all make our decisions for reasons of our own, and you can't prevent that. You just have to accept it. If it comes to it, it's better to let go than let God. Best wishes and fishes, rav Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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