Admin webmdave Posted October 4, 2008 Admin Share Posted October 4, 2008 From Valerie Hello, I am writing from France where I live - nothing like this site exists in Europe, where fundamental Christianity is little know, and unfortunately there is not much help for former evangelicals. My husband and I became "converts" way back in 1980, and spent 17 years in a very austere community in Geneva Switzerland, where we were literally cut off from our family and friends for years - brainwashed and psychologically abused by a "Christian" woman who was the leader of the community and her family. The usual thing - prayer meetings every day - prophesies that were more and more threatening and menacing towards anyone with the slightest "rebellious" thought - exploiting our fears and fragilities, making us live in abject poverty both materially and culturally... I finally left the cult, after the most terrible time having been harassed in ways I would rather not say by the son of the Leader. Of course I was blamed as a "sinful" woman for this, when it was not my fault. My husband finally decided to believe me and give our family a new chance, and we left the Church in 1997. It was a total rebirth - but really tough to get back to a normal social, family and professional life. However, over the last couple of years, my husband has experienced a second "conversion" and although he does not yet go back to Evangelical communities, his ideas are as they were before - only perhaps more subtly expressed... I am now desperate - our four children have left home now, marked by their childhood in a fundamentalist cult, but nevertheless happy and courageous young people, studying and working... I have no one really to turn to who understands the pain I am going through, after thirty years of marriage when all I wanted was peace from all that brainwashing - to go through it all again... it helps knowing other people have been through the difficulties I have expressed, and if anyone has an encouraging word, or knows of any group in Europe, France or Switzerland which I could join, it would be much appreciated... Many thanks for publishing this message.. Valerie. http://exchristian.net/testimonies/2008/10...to-turn-to.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skiergirl24 Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 <span style="font-style:italic;">From Valerie</span> Hello, I am writing from France where I live - nothing like this site exists in Europe, where fundamental Christianity is little know, and unfortunately there is not much help for former evangelicals. My husband and I became "converts" way back in 1980, and spent 17 years in a very austere community in Geneva Switzerland, where we were literally cut off from our family and friends for years - brainwashed and psychologically abused by a "Christian" woman who was the leader of the community and her family. The usual thing - prayer meetings every day - prophesies that were more and more threatening and menacing towards anyone with the slightest "rebellious" thought - exploiting our fears and fragilities, making us live in abject poverty both materially and culturally... I finally left the cult, after the most terrible time having been harassed in ways I would rather not say by the son of the Leader. Of course I was blamed as a "sinful" woman for this, when it was not my fault. My husband finally decided to believe me and give our family a new chance, and we left the Church in 1997. It was a total rebirth - but really tough to get back to a normal social, family and professional life. However, over the last couple of years, my husband has experienced a second "conversion" and although he does not yet go back to Evangelical communities, his ideas are as they were before - only perhaps more subtly expressed... I am now desperate - our four children have left home now, marked by their childhood in a fundamentalist cult, but nevertheless happy and courageous young people, studying and working... I have no one really to turn to who understands the pain I am going through, after thirty years of marriage when all I wanted was peace from all that brainwashing - to go through it all again... it helps knowing other people have been through the difficulties I have expressed, and if anyone has an encouraging word, or knows of any group in Europe, France or Switzerland which I could join, it would be much appreciated... Many thanks for publishing this message.. Valerie. http://exchristian.net/testimonies/2008/10...to-turn-to.html Hi Valerie- I can empathize somewhat with your situation. I am young...in my 20s, and my agnosticism has gotten in teh way of many relationships. It's hard to be the "outsider." This grounp might be something you could check out : http://www.atheistnexus.org/group/europeanatheists My advice to you is this. Talk with your husband...about mutual respect. He can worship as he sees fit, but needs to respect YOUR viewpoints on the matter. Is he actively trying to convert you? Or is he just going back to religion by himself? Being the sole agnostic can be hard. I was in a wedding this weekend and my friend asked my why I did not pray or get up to receive the eucharist...i said "I don't really believe in God" and she was shocked and then said "Uh, ok." thankfully (lol) I grew up catholic...where most of my family are CEFW Catholics (Christmans, Easter, Weddings, Funerals) and my family is liberal in that they do not take the Bible or the church rules literally. But, now that I am living in the midwest, I find it is very different. Anyway, send me a PM if you want to chat! Hugs, Maura Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realist Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 <span style="font-style:italic;">From Valerie</span> Hello, I am writing from France where I live - nothing like this site exists in Europe, where fundamental Christianity is little know, and unfortunately there is not much help for former evangelicals. My husband and I became "converts" way back in 1980, and spent 17 years in a very austere community in Geneva Switzerland, where we were literally cut off from our family and friends for years - brainwashed and psychologically abused by a "Christian" woman who was the leader of the community and her family. The usual thing - prayer meetings every day - prophesies that were more and more threatening and menacing towards anyone with the slightest "rebellious" thought - exploiting our fears and fragilities, making us live in abject poverty both materially and culturally... I finally left the cult, after the most terrible time having been harassed in ways I would rather not say by the son of the Leader. Of course I was blamed as a "sinful" woman for this, when it was not my fault. My husband finally decided to believe me and give our family a new chance, and we left the Church in 1997. It was a total rebirth - but really tough to get back to a normal social, family and professional life. However, over the last couple of years, my husband has experienced a second "conversion" and although he does not yet go back to Evangelical communities, his ideas are as they were before - only perhaps more subtly expressed... I am now desperate - our four children have left home now, marked by their childhood in a fundamentalist cult, but nevertheless happy and courageous young people, studying and working... I have no one really to turn to who understands the pain I am going through, after thirty years of marriage when all I wanted was peace from all that brainwashing - to go through it all again... it helps knowing other people have been through the difficulties I have expressed, and if anyone has an encouraging word, or knows of any group in Europe, France or Switzerland which I could join, it would be much appreciated... Many thanks for publishing this message.. Valerie. http://exchristian.net/testimonies/2008/10...to-turn-to.html ... Hello Valerie, I am glad you found this site! The Internet has really been a massive help to those struggling with some of the consequences of Christianity! I would suggest it would be a good idea to take out a user name on this site and post as you feel the need. There is nothing better as therapy putting ones own words in print! You will find too I think people will respond far better when posts are not through the Webmaster. I have been greatful myself for the help received on this Site! I see the new situation you now find yourself in with your husband and I feel for you. You are probably also feeling quite confused due to the brainwashing you experienced as an evangelical Christian. I think what you have to do is get that situation TOTALLY sorted out in your own mind first! It is so easy to walk away from Christianity as I did but not have put its demons to rest! You yourself may well have done this. You HAVE to conquer things like the fear factor ... like of hell ...you HAVE to understand the reason fear is used as the underlying controlling factor in religion ... especially fundamentalist Christianity! This involves much logic ... reading information that is balanced ... searching the Net .... posting on sites like this. You will probably have things in your own mind you have not sorted out! I have found this very important as it will make YOU a much stronger person. You become able to fully logic just why this brainwashing is just a load of crap! I think this will help in the current situation with your husband. You will be able to reason with him much better ... it does not have to involve any fights ... it will make you stronger yourself and understand yourself better! Hey, I have not got any magic answers .... I personally do not know of organisations in France who might help. One thing I know you DO have access to instant help on such sites as this! Also read as many books as possible from guys like Richard Dawkins ... Sam Harris etc. Even if your are not am Atheist they will logic to you many points you may be struggling with! I hope you really do find the help you need ... do take out a user name ... I am sure it will be a big step in the right diection. Best wishes! Doug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orlando Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 I also live in France. I think this is a good place for a non-religious person to live -- surveys suggest about 30% of the country consider themselves atheists. If you speak French here are some French organisations/sites for freethinkers http://librepenseefrance.ouvaton.org/ http://atunion.free.fr/index.html http://www.atheisme.org/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiracyOfTheHead Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 Dear Valerie, Please keep trying to find help where you are, I am still seeking professional help since during my brainwashing I became impoverished and extremely ill and disabled, since I had been cut off from family and friends for so long, when i came out form under the spell I have no one to turn to, me and my wife are completely destitute and the government here is cutting our aid as I speak, we lost 830 dollars a month aid......to NO CAS AID starting yesterday and are in the middle of appealing it...along with many other things I know how tragic being involved in a cult can be, Im living it. Like I said, keep trying, hopefully we will both get a leg up soon!! best of Luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hawklord61 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 <span style="font-style:italic;">From Valerie</span> Hello, I am writing from France where I live - nothing like this site exists in Europe, where fundamental Christianity is little know, and unfortunately there is not much help for former evangelicals. My husband and I became "converts" way back in 1980, and spent 17 years in a very austere community in Geneva Switzerland, where we were literally cut off from our family and friends for years - brainwashed and psychologically abused by a "Christian" woman who was the leader of the community and her family. The usual thing - prayer meetings every day - prophesies that were more and more threatening and menacing towards anyone with the slightest "rebellious" thought - exploiting our fears and fragilities, making us live in abject poverty both materially and culturally... I finally left the cult, after the most terrible time having been harassed in ways I would rather not say by the son of the Leader. Of course I was blamed as a "sinful" woman for this, when it was not my fault. My husband finally decided to believe me and give our family a new chance, and we left the Church in 1997. It was a total rebirth - but really tough to get back to a normal social, family and professional life. However, over the last couple of years, my husband has experienced a second "conversion" and although he does not yet go back to Evangelical communities, his ideas are as they were before - only perhaps more subtly expressed... I am now desperate - our four children have left home now, marked by their childhood in a fundamentalist cult, but nevertheless happy and courageous young people, studying and working... I have no one really to turn to who understands the pain I am going through, after thirty years of marriage when all I wanted was peace from all that brainwashing - to go through it all again... it helps knowing other people have been through the difficulties I have expressed, and if anyone has an encouraging word, or knows of any group in Europe, France or Switzerland which I could join, it would be much appreciated... Many thanks for publishing this message.. Valerie. http://exchristian.net/testimonies/2008/10...to-turn-to.html Hello Valerie It's obvious that your past has left deep emotional scars and your scared that your husbands re-conversion will drag you back into a similar situation. There will come a time when you must say "enough is enough" and explain your fears to him and make him understand the anguish your going through. As for having no one to turn to, well this site is a good start, but you seem to be leaving out the people who matter the most .... your Children. They will have a good idea what your going through because they lived through it themselves. You didn't state the reason why you want to join another group, but i have to say, if it is just for another shoulder to cry on, your situation will not get any better. Please try to be more strong willed and assertive because in times like this you have to try and take responsibility for your own actions. I really hope you and your Husband work things out as his attitude is the only link to the past that you have to cut. Best wishes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PIRACYs LADY Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 <span style="font-style:italic;">From Valerie</span> Hello, I am writing from France where I live - nothing like this site exists in Europe, where fundamental Christianity is little know, and unfortunately there is not much help for former evangelicals. My husband and I became "converts" way back in 1980, and spent 17 years in a very austere community in Geneva Switzerland, where we were literally cut off from our family and friends for years - brainwashed and psychologically abused by a "Christian" woman who was the leader of the community and her family. The usual thing - prayer meetings every day - prophesies that were more and more threatening and menacing towards anyone with the slightest "rebellious" thought - exploiting our fears and fragilities, making us live in abject poverty both materially and culturally... I finally left the cult, after the most terrible time having been harassed in ways I would rather not say by the son of the Leader. Of course I was blamed as a "sinful" woman for this, when it was not my fault. My husband finally decided to believe me and give our family a new chance, and we left the Church in 1997. It was a total rebirth - but really tough to get back to a normal social, family and professional life. However, over the last couple of years, my husband has experienced a second "conversion" and although he does not yet go back to Evangelical communities, his ideas are as they were before - only perhaps more subtly expressed... I am now desperate - our four children have left home now, marked by their childhood in a fundamentalist cult, but nevertheless happy and courageous young people, studying and working... I have no one really to turn to who understands the pain I am going through, after thirty years of marriage when all I wanted was peace from all that brainwashing - to go through it all again... it helps knowing other people have been through the difficulties I have expressed, and if anyone has an encouraging word, or knows of any group in Europe, France or Switzerland which I could join, it would be much appreciated... Many thanks for publishing this message.. Valerie. http://exchristian.net/testimonies/2008/10...to-turn-to.html Hi Valerie, I am sorry that your husband had this turn around as I can tell by your words you are hurting because of it. I want to say be strong,make your own way, a new life and dont give yourself new scars. But I know this could be very difficult as I find myself unable to break free and be as aggresive as i should be for myself.If you need someone to talk to consider me here for you. Churee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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