Sensitive_Flower Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Im trying to work this out, but Im not sure if Im being sarcastic with the title of this thread or if this is a genuine attempt to change my thinking by saying something nice about xians. More psychoanalysis needed I think. Its been a while since I officially left Christianity but Im not sure how I’ve contained myself this long without going on a shooting spree whenever I hear the hatred and judgemental poison spewed by some xians about homosexuals, Muslims or any other groups that are not like them. In future keep a look out in the media about a mad English woman who screamed insanely ‘THEY MADE ME DO IT’ after blowing the brains out of a bunch of fundies.* I come from a fundy home, so its not like I can avoid these people. The xians that I talk to on the internet are of the so called liberal variety but even they come out with some amazing stuff that leave me wide jawed at my keyboard. I’ve considered buying a web cam just to record my facial expression when talking to some of these people, it must be a picture! I try to lead my life in a non judgemental, caring manner which may appear to be a contradiction considering what I have just said above, but that’s why I am here posting this. I don’t want to lump all xians in the same basket. Im sure there must be some nice ones out there without the bigoted or judgemental attitudes, its just that I haven’t come across many. One xian I talked to on the net said that what I do is akin to sexism or racism, which I suppose could be a valid point. However the way I see it is that ones race or sex is what one is born with but Christianity or religion in general is a choice that seems to breed ignorance and intolerance. Perhaps Im being unfair but this is how I feel at the moment. I don’t want to continue feeling outraged by what xians say and do. There is just so much my blood pressure can take. I really shouldn’t care but I think this is part of my personality. I get outraged when I see any injustice to another human being whether perpetrated by a xian or not. If I could just forget the hurt that xians in particular have put me through then I think my life would be a lot more peaceful. I cannot tell you the amount of times that xians and non-xians alike have told me to ‘get over it’ or ‘stop whining about my past’ which although irritates me could be the solution. I may expound on my life and deconversion later in an anti-testimony thread but in a nutshell Im not sure how to get over years of sexual, physical and emotional abuse perpetrated by a variety of xians that I have been in contact with. I’ve had counselling but Im still slightly peeved to say the least that these things have happened to me. Does anyone have any ideas on implementing the ‘in one ear, out the other’ technique that some seem really good at doing? If I could just get a ‘I don’t care attitude’ going, I think that would help tremendously. Thanks * sick joke, I wouldn’t really go shooting anyone who I disagreed with. Trust me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Checkmate Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Does anyone have any ideas on implementing the ‘in one ear, out the other’ technique that some seem really good at doing? If I could just get a ‘I don’t care attitude’ going, I think that would help tremendously. Thanks No ideas whatsover! I am probably MORE psychotic in my dealings with Xians than are you. (See my rants in the Debates section for proof.) So if you find out the "secret", let me know! BTW, Welcome to the forum. If nothing else, it's a great place to let off steam WITHOUT hurting a flesh and blood target! (Thanks, Dave!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 That "I don't care attitude" you're asking for, I'm working on it too, actually I've can't help but noticing that I'm going the opposite way, I'm caring more about things that before, and are bothered more about what religious people do. I'm not the right person to help you I guess... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spamandham Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Welcome Flower! It just takes time. You hopefully will get to the point where it just annoys you, like commercials, but doesn't make you feel like killing anymore. (untill then, you might want to ask a friend to store your guns for you. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogmatically_challenged Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Im trying to work this out, but Im not sure if Im being sarcastic with the title of this thread or if this is a genuine attempt to change my thinking by saying something nice about xians. More psychoanalysis needed I think. Its been a while since I officially left Christianity but Im not sure how I’ve contained myself this long without going on a shooting spree whenever I hear the hatred and judgemental poison spewed by some xians about homosexuals, Muslims or any other groups that are not like them. In future keep a look out in the media about a mad English woman who screamed insanely ‘THEY MADE ME DO IT’ after blowing the brains out of a bunch of fundies.* I come from a fundy home, so its not like I can avoid these people. The xians that I talk to on the internet are of the so called liberal variety but even they come out with some amazing stuff that leave me wide jawed at my keyboard. I’ve considered buying a web cam just to record my facial expression when talking to some of these people, it must be a picture! I try to lead my life in a non judgemental, caring manner which may appear to be a contradiction considering what I have just said above, but that’s why I am here posting this. I don’t want to lump all xians in the same basket. Im sure there must be some nice ones out there without the bigoted or judgemental attitudes, its just that I haven’t come across many. One xian I talked to on the net said that what I do is akin to sexism or racism, which I suppose could be a valid point. However the way I see it is that ones race or sex is what one is born with but Christianity or religion in general is a choice that seems to breed ignorance and intolerance. Perhaps Im being unfair but this is how I feel at the moment. I don’t want to continue feeling outraged by what xians say and do. There is just so much my blood pressure can take. I really shouldn’t care but I think this is part of my personality. I get outraged when I see any injustice to another human being whether perpetrated by a xian or not. If I could just forget the hurt that xians in particular have put me through then I think my life would be a lot more peaceful. I cannot tell you the amount of times that xians and non-xians alike have told me to ‘get over it’ or ‘stop whining about my past’ which although irritates me could be the solution. I may expound on my life and deconversion later in an anti-testimony thread but in a nutshell Im not sure how to get over years of sexual, physical and emotional abuse perpetrated by a variety of xians that I have been in contact with. I’ve had counselling but Im still slightly peeved to say the least that these things have happened to me. Does anyone have any ideas on implementing the ‘in one ear, out the other’ technique that some seem really good at doing? If I could just get a ‘I don’t care attitude’ going, I think that would help tremendously. Thanks * sick joke, I wouldn’t really go shooting anyone who I disagreed with. Trust me <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Cherry pick Lao Tzu and the Buddha. I value them but I am too much of a passionate savage now a days to use some of the gems that they offer. Maybe counceling would be a good idea as well as getting to know other ExChristians here at ExChristian.net I can't help you here as I am in the same boat as you, but there are plenty of others here who can give you valuable input. Welcome! Stick around here at ExChristians.net You are not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Sensitive Flower, Feel welcome to put your ass down in seat and spend a goodly portion of your on.line and on.ass time here at ExC. One thing that is the *same* here at ExC is that we are are different. Where a lot of we who have been involved in various church_life_activities and our stories are similar, not a single one of we are "clones". Wecome to a place where clones don't fit. You'll be treated with respect, your belief sytem, whatever it is now, and may eventually pan out and become, will be able to be looked at with others eyes and opinions. I don't know that any one person here will pipe up in seriousness and tell you he/she/it/the dog has *The Answer*. We're all people, living, loving, learnin', kickin' asses and enjoying having a life that doesn't include SkIe DaddDIe and DeR BotZ looking down from above.. Its a hellova ride, jump aboard. kevinL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensitive_Flower Posted July 28, 2005 Author Share Posted July 28, 2005 Thanks TK421, HanSolo, Spamandham, dogmatically_challenged and nivek for the warm welcome At least now I do not feel alone with my anger. Its comforting to know that others suffer the same as I do. Spamandham, thankfully for fundies, guns are illegal here in the UK so I do not have any, but I shall hide all the battering equipment that I have just to be on the safe side. TK421 I will check out your rants to make myself feel more at home. Hansolo I dont know what to say but I relate. I care so much thats it now verging on the ridiculous. Im thinking of starting a website for distressed messageboard smilies thats how bad its got! My empathy impulse has gone into overdrive. dogmatically_challenged I will check out Lao Tzu and the Buddha and see if that helps any and thanks KevinL for your encouraging words. Thanks again everyone, I feel better for letting that all out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I have met cool Christians who do not shove their views down other people's throats. Unfortunately, they are few and far-between. I wish there were more of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensitive_Flower Posted July 28, 2005 Author Share Posted July 28, 2005 I have met cool Christians who do not shove their views down other people's throats. Unfortunately, they are few and far-between. I wish there were more of them. Me too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I have met cool Christians who do not shove their views down other people's throats. Unfortunately, they are few and far-between. I wish there were more of them. I have started to view Nice Christians just as drug addicts that only use a little coke instead of a lot. You never know when they go fundie on you. When you start doubting you faith you become more open minden for new input and become the nice Christian. But if you're starting to crave for a stronger faith, you feel you have to become more accurate in your faith and follow the given dogma, and suddenly you turn to a hardcore arrogant fundie. I went between the two camps several times, and Nice Christian only exists for a while, and eventually turns fundie or apostate. It's really difficult to stay on the nice side of it for a longer time. It's like staying neutral in a war that is fought, and you're in the smack middle of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Well, I was a Nice Christian who turned apostate. So there is hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curtdude Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Well, I was a Nice Christian who turned apostate. So there is hope. Glad to hear that, Amethyst! I was a goody-too-shoes, in the annoying category. Hey SensitiveFlower, Welcome. I know what you're feeling. I get so angry sometimes I just want to scream (I end up muttering to myself instead, sounding like some wacko). Then I remember that I'm pissed at the source of why christians are IN GENERAL annoying: their beliefs are annoying. Their image of god is one of vengence and torture. Their image of women not much better. Forget it if you're gay. That seems to take some of the heat out of it. At least for a minute. Maybe this is just a lame coping device. Sorry, no magic here on how to "make it go in one ear and out the other." I wish I could do that when I listen to the news, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spamandham Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 I went through bouts of fundyism as well. The last time, I even became a YEC. That was part of my catharsis. At this point, I don't think I would return even if Jesus showed up and told me to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Does anyone have any ideas on implementing the ‘in one ear, out the other’ technique that some seem really good at doing? If I could just get a ‘I don’t care attitude’ going, I think that would help tremendously. Actually I find that adopting the "fuck you" attitude before the "in one ear, out the other" attitude helps quite a bit. Dealing with abuse of all kinds takes time, something which a lot of people aren't willing or able to grant you. You just have to take it. Screw what anybody else says. It doesn't go away overnight whether anybody else likes that or not. Too bad for them. Just go at your own pace. Healing from stuff is about you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Maybe this is just a lame coping device. Sorry, no magic here on how to "make it go in one ear and out the other." I wish I could do that when I listen to the news, too. I don't usually watch the news on TV anymore, and if something comes along that pisses me off, I change the channel. I tend to read the news online more. Easier to pick what you want to find out more about, and which headlines you just want to skim past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensitive_Flower Posted July 29, 2005 Author Share Posted July 29, 2005 Hi Amethyst, gwenmead, spamandham, Curtdude, and HanSolo. Thanks for the words of encouragement. You have no idea how much its helped to find others suffering from this predicament. Actually I find that adopting the "fuck you" attitude before the "in one ear, out the other" attitude helps quite a bit. Now thats a solution that sounds appealing. Im sure I would have no problems adopting that attitude. Amazingly enough I find the news upsetting too. But Im strangely drawn to the news. I always need to know whats happening in the world no matter how depressing. Perhaps thats where Im going wrong. Thanks all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest grammi Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 i have found that some Christians seem to have mastered the in one out the other technique, that is if it gets in the one... and thanks for not lumping all of us Christians into the bigot basket.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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