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A Christian Asking For Proof From Others.....


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As many as it takes. Pastafarians are free to do anything we want!

 

You must admit, if we go past 12 days the song is going to get weird. (As if it wasn't weird already!!!)

 

I just noticed that we fizzled out just short of 12. I wonder if anyone can add one more line for a grand finale:

 

:sing:

 

On the eleventh day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

11 tortelloni

 

10 sauces simmering

 

9 forks a spinning

 

8 sacks of spices

 

7 pots a boiling

 

6 cheese lasagna

 

5 sausage balls!

 

5 sausage balls!

 

4 garlic breadsticks, 3 Cannelloni, 2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

 

before we hit Summer Solstice....

 

On the twelfth day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

12 ravioli

 

11 tortelloni

 

10 sauces simmering

 

9 forks a spinning

 

8 sacks of spices

 

7 pots a boiling

 

6 cheese lasagna

 

5 sausage balls!

 

4 garlic breadsticks, 3 Cannelloni, 2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

 

***************************

There! Now we've got our very own specialized Hymn. We've got all eternity to practice it. Then how about we set up our very own choir right around the next Winter Solstice. Might cause a few sparks, huh? That would benefit the Festival of Lights, I'm thinking. It gets awfully dark around that time of year. Just a thought.

 

Summer's a-coming in the Northern Hemisphere and I know everyone up here is firing up BBQs and stuff...but there's always people like Casey in the "land down yonder" for whom the days are getting shorter who might like a coupla sparks now and then to brighten up the gloom...

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this was posted on the main FSM site. I found the hypocrisy of the post so amazing and mind-warping, I just had to share.

What?!? The Flying Spaghetti Monster is not the One True Pasta? I ... I ... I just don't know what to think now ... oh ... me ...

I had a relationship with the Flying Spaghetti Monster a few nights back. This relationship ended several hours later when he exited my digestive tract, though. I did accept the FSM into my heart ...

before we hit Summer Solstice....

 

On the twelfth day of Solstice my pirate gave to me

 

12 ravioli

 

11 tortelloni

 

10 sauces simmering

 

9 forks a spinning

 

8 sacks of spices

 

7 pots a boiling

 

6 cheese lasagna

 

5 sausage balls!

 

4 garlic breadsticks, 3 Cannelloni, 2 Manicotti, with pasta and meatballs for tea....

 

***************************

There! Now we've got our very own specialized Hymn. We've got all eternity to practice it. Then how about we set up our very own choir right around the next Winter Solstice. Might cause a few sparks, huh? That would benefit the Festival of Lights, I'm thinking. It gets awfully dark around that time of year. Just a thought.

 

Summer's a-coming in the Northern Hemisphere and I know everyone up here is firing up BBQs and stuff...but there's always people like Casey in the "land down yonder" for whom the days are getting shorter who might like a coupla sparks now and then to brighten up the gloom...

 

Ruby! You rock!!!! I was hoping someone would finish our hymn! Thank you very much!!! Unfortunately, I cannot join the choir. I LOVE to sing, but no one wants to hear me do it. Even people who don't believe in hell can be heard muttering about it when I sing. Sigh....

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heh. I had forgotten about this thread! I just read through the entire thing again! Great for a laugh (and I needed a laugh)!

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"Now the birth of Jesauce was on this wise: When as his mother Olive was espoused to Josauce, before they spread oil on each other, she was found with child of the Holy Pasta. Then Josauce, her husband, being a just noodle, and not willing to make her a public meal, was minded to put her away in Tuperware. But while he thought on these things, behold, an Angel Hair Pasta of the Lard appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Josauce, thou noodle of Al Dente, fear not to take unto thee Olive they wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Pasta. And she shall bring forth a meatball, and thou shalt call his name Jesauce: for he shall cover his noodles in sauce from their sins.

 

Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lard by the Parmesan, saying, Behold! A Virgin Olive Oil shall be with meatball, and bring forth a meatball, and they shall call his name Emmanoodle, which is being interpreted, His Noodle is with Us."

 

From the Gospel of Fettuccine 1:18-23

 

Praise be to the Holy Virgin Olive Oil, the mother of our Savory!

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Guest agnosticforever
Hello, I am a Christian, and I would just like to know, is their any proof of FSM [Flying Spaghetti Monster]? If so can you please show me the proof, or explain it to me over the web please, I am curios to know. I personally believe this is just some silly religion thought up by an over active imaginative mind of someone. Who told others, and the few that believed him were hopeless in life as it was to begin looking for someone to lead them, and show them the way, so they just followed whatever he said. ( much like scientology)

 

this was posted on the main FSM site. I found the hypocrisy of the post so amazing and mind-warping, I just had to share. :lmao:

Who ever said anything about flying monsters, can you show us jesus christ sitting at the right hand of the bible god or correct all the discrepancies of the bible since it is the supposedly the inerrant written word of god? Can you show us what is the truth since all your denominations are at war with one another after jesus saying the holy spirit would lead you into truth? where is the unity? where is the peace? where is the evidence? if it needs to be lived by faith which means there is no evidence. I can say there is a god but I will not say it is the bible god or any of the man made concepts of god I REJECT THEM ALL leaving me an atheist which is belief in no god.

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  • 3 months later...

 

I had a relationship with the Flying Spaghetti Monster a few nights back. This relationship ended several hours later when he exited my digestive tract, though. I did accept the FSM into my heart ... at least I take it that heart burn is evidence of that, right?

 

Sorry ... I think I have been overcome by the holy spirit of spaghetti silliness today. :lmao:

I have never been a devotee of the FSM, but I understand that one must follow it's command, "Take, eat, this is my body. Enjoy my meatballs."

 

Yum!

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.... I thought I had something to add ..... this is just so fucking stupid, the quote the post began with about FSM .... if anything nneds pointing out, to anyone, they're hopeless.

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Ok maybe there's no "proof" of the FSM but I know from personal experience that after I asked Him to come into my heart, I KNEW He was real! And to the Christian that claimed it is a made up religion- nothing could be further from the truth because its not a religion, its a RELATIONSHIP!

 

The FSM has a plan for your life. But the only way to realize this is through FAITH. You will understand only after you believe!

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LOL at this thread.

 

Anyway, I got to thinking. The Flying Spaghetti Monster must consist of a Holy Quadrinity, "The First Monster" being Spaghetti, "The Second Monster" being Sauce, "The Third Monster" being Meatballs, and "The Fourth Monster" being Cheese.

 

And, of course, The Holy Quadrinity has to be superior to the Christians' Holy Trinity, since 4 is greater than 3.

 

Makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

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LOL at this thread.

 

Anyway, I got to thinking. The Flying Spaghetti Monster must consist of a Holy Quadrinity, "The First Monster" being Spaghetti, "The Second Monster" being Sauce, "The Third Monster" being Meatballs, and "The Fourth Monster" being Cheese.

 

And, of course, The Holy Quadrinity has to be superior to the Christians' Holy Trinity, since 4 is greater than 3.

 

Makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

You ARE talking about Parmesan Cheese, aren't you? Heresy is not permitted.

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You ARE talking about Parmesan Cheese, aren't you? Heresy is not permitted.

 

Well, most certainly! Heretics be DAMNED!!!

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  • 4 weeks later...
Yeah! Also, if the FSM does not exist, then how do we explain the existence of spaghetti recipes? Because we all know, if there is a recipe, there MUST be a recipe giver.

 

But the real question is, which spaghetti recipe is closest to the originals? Is it the KSV (King Sauce Version)?

 

 

Hail Marinara, full of spice, the lard is with thee; blessed art thou among sauces, and blessed is the fruit of thy saucepan, Jesauce. Holy Marinara, mother of Jesauce, pray for us eaters now and at the hour of our tea.

 

rAmen.

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  • 2 months later...
How dare you speak against Ragu! You must be one of those Pregostants! From now on, I declare a purer pasta ... one without sauce! After all, the Holy Pasta forbids hard drink ... thou shalt not get sauced! All hail the FSM!
Everyone knows that in liberal Pastafarinism that Prego and Ragu are the same sauce, just symbolism for different ways of using it and liberal Pastafarinism is the true way to worship the FSM because it embodies the omnibenelovence of Parmesan cheese on spaghetti.

 

I have found the truth, this is the way. You have revealed the holy trinity to me, sauce, pasta and CHEESE!

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And I say unto you that an Anglehair came to me in the forest and gave to me the Golden tablets upon which the tale of the FSM in the new world. I have translated the tablets in to the Book Of Motzarella. You must shun all pasta and eat of the Pizza. Only true believer in the prophecy of Papa John can enter the Hut. For it is written.

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I have some really important questions that ... honestly ... are keeping me from accepting the Flying Spaghetti Monster as my personal entree. Are the meatballs ground turkey or beef? Are the noodles whole wheat, or bleached and enriched?

Wisdom comes from using your noodles. Do I need to say more?

 

 

:HaHa:

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I have some really important questions that ... honestly ... are keeping me from accepting the Flying Spaghetti Monster as my personal entree. Are the meatballs ground turkey or beef? Are the noodles whole wheat, or bleached and enriched?

Wars have been fought for centuries over these sectarian differences, and there is still no satisfactory answer. It is a blight on the religion that the beef advocates have nearly eradicated the turkey advocates.

 

In the name of ecumenical tolerance however, the whole wheat, bleached and enriched noodle sects have jointly decided to end persecution. They still have their preferences, but they no longer execute heretics.

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Which is more of a proper baptism, the sprinkling of the cheese, or the dunking of the meatballs?

 

To ensure the thorough savoring of the entire entree, true baptism is the pouring of Ketchyu over the whole dish.

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