New Here: Atheist + Gay + Arab-american + Ocd + Northeast Liberal + Professor... Mamma Mia, Could They Hate Me Any More?! ;)

[Ameen]

@ Kuroikaze: I've been to Europe a number of times, but I haven't traveled much in the U.S. and don't go to the south at all since I don't feel like being preached to or hiding who I am. I have met a number of Southerners who were walking stereotypes, though, some here in New York, some in Washington, and even some in Europe. In fact, in the airport in Brussels a few years ago I heard a woman drawling on in loud southern southern accent as she outlined a litany of complaints to airline stewardesses surrounding her. Actually, she was so loud that I heard her in another room even though multi-lingual crowds were conversing. When I entered the room she was in, I saw that she looked like Boss Hogg in drag.

 

The Ugly American?

 

I have been mistaken for Canadian more than once and have been told point blank that I am too polite to be American.

 

@ pippa_wonders: Sounds GREAT!

 

@ Emme: Wassup?!

 

@ I Broke Free: I have read in a number of places that a disproportionate number of OCD sufferers enter extremist religion. Some people even link Puritan preachers, Martin Luther (the German, not Mr. King), and a number of others to OCD. Of course, either Luther or Saint Augustine (I forget which) has also been linked to chronic constipation, making us wonder what he was really talking about when he described the pains of hell...

[Caretaker]

And you have Mr. Spock in your avatar!!! Cool! Lifelong Trekker here--and I have seen every episode of every series at least twice.

 

My favorites: Icheb, Guinan, Q, L'waxana, Dukat, Seven, the medical hologram, Jadzia, Hoshi Sato, McCoy, Sulu, all the captains except Kirk, most Vulcans, and, especially, most Andorians. (I want an Andorian boy toy!!!!!!!!!)

 

My absolute favorite character: Her Eminence, Kai Winn Adami

 

Can't stand: Kirk, Chekov, Riker, Bashir, and anything named Crusher

 

My absolute least favorite character: A toss up between Neelix and Keiko O'Brien

 

 

Hey there! Trek fan here too! Sad about losing Montalban and Majel Barrett recently, though. I started here known as Khan.

 

Kai Winn? I found her to be a bit of a bitch....

[Ameen]

Kai Winn? I found her to be a bit of a bitch....

 

For those who don't know who we are talking about, Kai Winn and Gul Dukat were recurring characters on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (the third of the five Star Trek series).

 

Here's Kai Winn, the spiritual leader of the planet Bajor. In human terms, she'd be considered Pope of the entire planet:

 

 

You may recognize the actress, Louise Fletcher. She is best known for her role as Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest back in 1975.

 

 

Here's Gul Dukat (as a Cardassian--before he was medically altered to resemble a Bajoran) :

 

 

I know of few people who agree with me on Kai Winn--the woman Trek fans love hating--but I see her as a victim of her own religion.

 

Kai Winn desperately wanted the love and respect of the Prophets (the Bajoran gods), but they chose to ignore her. When she was younger, she served them any way she could, and she saved Bajorans as a member of the Resistance during the barbaric Cardassian occupation of Bajor. She was tortured by the Cardassians, but they could not break her.

 

Yes, she was power hungry and manipulative--and she could indeed be a bitch--but she was also a deeply emotional woman in need of love who could not get past the Prophets' rejection of her. They spoke to other Bajoran religious figures who served them, but never to her. When the pah-wraiths (the Bajoran equivalent of demons) contacted her in the guise of the Prophets after years of her desperately trying to win Prophetic love, she was genuinely overjoyed. She wanted the Prophets to be with her.

 

She also fell deeply in love with Dukat when he was disguised as a Bajoran emissary from the Prophets; she truly believed the Prophets had sent him to her. We know that they shared a bed (to use her term), and I would not be surprised if, at her advanced age, she lost her virginity to him. When she realized that she was dealing with Dukat and the pah-wraiths, she was horrified. Then she snapped and just gave up. At least the supposed forces of evil (in a Christian sense--although Bajor is not a Christian world) did not ignore her the way the Prophets had, and she embraced them.

 

I empathize with her on a deep level, for my deep desire to be loved and respected by what I perceived as God never bore fruit, and to this day, even though I am an atheist, I still feel the rejection. Yes, I hated some of the terrible things Winn did, but I was so mad when she was killed off (and sent to Bajoran hell, the crystal in which Dukat was imprisoned for eternity?) that I yelled "fuck you!" at my TV screen. That shout was intended for the Star Trek writers. I wanted Winn to know love and be loved--even if it was Dukat.

 

At least some fans love the scenes between Winn and Dukat-as-a-Bajoran as much as I do. Here is some Winn/Dukat art I found on the Internet:

 

 

 

 

Winn forever!

 

Ameen

[Ameen]

Since I sooooooooooooooo want to talk Star Trek with my fellow non-believers, I copied my Star Trek info and pasted it in a new thread: http://www.ex-christian.net/index.php?showtopic=28517

 

If any you want to respond to my admittedly bizarre Star Trek views, please do it in that thread.

 

Anything else: Please put it here.

[Amethyst]

Hey there,

 

I too am a Star Trek fan and I am a member of Starfleet, the International Fan Association.

 

Welcome to the site!

[hereticzero]

Howdy and welcome.

[Ameen]

@ Burnedout: In these days of evangelical masterminding and a Republican party that traditional conservatives no longer recognize, nontheist conservatives fascinate me--as do the Log Cabin Republicans (gay Republicans). Marc Cherry, the creator of and head writer on Desperate Housewives, is himself a gay Republican. It must be very, very hard to be nontheist and conservative or gay and conservative, and I respect people who stand up for what they believe in despite their peers' prejudice.

 

I doubt that anything could make me stop being liberal with a capital L, but I am not one of those annoying liberals who thinks he has all the answers that, in truth, no one has.

 

@ Amethyst: Hey there! I've always wished I could join Starfleet in some manner, but as it is I spend waaaaaaay to much time on message boards and don't dare.

 

@ HereticZero: I L-O-V-E your avatar!

[MathGeek]

@ Burnedout: In these days of evangelical masterminding and a Republican party that traditional conservatives no longer recognize, nontheist conservatives fascinate me--as do the Log Cabin Republicans (gay Republicans). Marc Cherry, the creator of and head writer on Desperate Housewives, is himself a gay Republican. It must be very, very hard to be nontheist and conservative or gay and conservative, and I respect people who stand up for what they believe in despite their peers' prejudice.

 

This is why I love the United States. You can be anything you want even if popular prejudices tell you not to be as such. Everybody is a bundle of contradictions I guess.

 

I am an Atheist, Straight, White, Overweight, Midwestern, Moderate, Math Teacher...I just call myself "The Nightmare of the Christian Right". You should add that to your resume.

 

Welcome aboard, Ameen.

[PiracyOfTheHead]

Hey Ameen,

 

Welcome, and I can assure you that we will be talking.

 

OCD, GAD and C-PTSD make me an SOB!!

 

 

Here are my credentials:

 

Deist, Straight, Irish-American Indian, OCD...Mainly scrupulosity but attaches to my GAD and C-PTSD which magnify them. Vicious cycle!

 

You've come to the right place.

[Ameen]

Thank you, MathGeek and PiracyOfTheHead. (Two great screen names--and I've posted to both of you in the Star Trek thread.)

 

I am afraid that math was my worst subject. I was tutored in math and science yet still only barely passed them. ON the other hand, I barely studied for English, grammar, history, literature, and foreign languages yet always had top grades.

 

As my sister often reminds me: The question on an exam required me to list the four basic components of DNA. I wrote: "Hydrogen, Oxygen, Nitrogen, and Helium."

 

I teach English as a Second Language and now study music. My sister (one of those lucky people who is naturally good in everything) teaches math, Christian religion, music, and acting in a Lutheran junior high school. (I am an atheist, but I greatly appreciate this school's liberal views. There are students from Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, atheist, and Wiccan families in the school. Although all students take a religion course, no one is forced to believe anything or asked to convert. My sister, though Christian, is as gung-ho about maintaining the integrity of children's beliefs as I am.)

 

By the way, my listing of the groups I belong to is in no way meant to take away from others' groups. I just wanted to show that my group membership is bizarre since it includes many of the most hated groups in the United States (per what I wrote in my first post in this thread). I do indeed have a bad habit of going on and on about my groups (and in particluar about being gay), but I recognize that prejudice is prejudice whether it is aimed at my groups or someone else's. Heterophobia and anti-white sentiment are wrong in my book.

[Neon Genesis]

Welcome to the forums, Ameen! I'm also a gay atheist and liberal that's a former fundamentalist Christian! I've never been to a gay Christian forum before but I don't post at Christian forums in general, although I do have one online friend who's a bisexual conservative Christian and Republican, and we occasionally get into debates about religion and politics. I'm also a sci-fan and a bookworm and I prefer to read books over most of what's on TV. I've never really got into Star Trek but I've only seen like the first couple of episodes of the original series. My family can't understand why I love fantasy and sci-fi so much. My dad once asked me why I like reading fantasy books and I simply told him because I thought it was fun and he just rolled his eyes because apparently it's such a bad thing to have fun.

[Insanity personified]

I'm a half indian bisexual atheist.....

 

 

does that get me any points? XD

[Brought None]

Welcome Ameen. Reading you post you'll do fine here. Look forward to more of your posts.

 

*Another one of the scifi loving fruits here at Ex-C*

[Crazycatlady]

Ameen, welcome to the boards (sorry for the delayed reply -- I haven't been on much since mid-December).

 

Crazy christain missionaries/evangelists come to my university campus rather frequently. I greatly enjoy asking (with true concern in my voice) them if it's okay that I'm asexual. There seems to be about a 50/50 split between those who tell me I am closer to god and the ideal human (blah!), and those who tell me I am bound for hell because I "refuse to accept god's beautiful gift of sexuality." While still Catholic, I thought I was supposed to become a nun. I'm glad I got over that.

 

I liked your article about HOCD and realized that I probably have that (I do have other forms of OCD -- mostly to do with locks and symmetry, formerly involving corporal mortification). I suppose it doesn't help much that many of my (well meaning) friends and both of my parents tell me not to worry, I'll develop sexual interest eventually. Anyway, I should bring this up with my therapist instead of babbling on in someone else's thread.

 

I really must watch Star Trek someday. It sounds like it's right up my ally. Now, to find the time for that.

[Ameen]

@ Neon Genesis: Once the horrid first week of the semester and all its built-in stress is over, I intend to post about my time on a gay Christian board. Not a pretty story, as gay Christians can be as crass and self-righteous as straight Christians. Actually, they may evenr be are worse, as they ought to know better since they know what it is like to be discriminated against. (There are supportive, open-minded Christians in both the gay and straight camps, of course, and I appreciate them greatly; however, they are not the ones who make steam come out of my ears. Wait 'till you hear about the lesbian minister who said gays go to Heaven but Muslims, Jews, Catholics, and Mormons don't... And that's only for starters.)

 

@ insanity personified: Actually, your screen name gets you more points than anything else!

 

@ Bought None: Love those fruity bibliophiles!

 

@ Crazycatlady: First, here's Aria, one of the loves of my life.

 

As a kitten in 2004... That's my hand in the second and third photos:

 

 

 

 

And here she is as a grown-up cat in late 2007:

 

 

 

She's actually my parents and sister's cat, as she lives in their home. Since my parents are senior citizens with health issues and I help my sister take care of them, I live in an apartment that is walking distance from their place. I thus see Aria frequently--and when the three of them go on vacation I'm the one who takes care of her and writes in blocks of time on my calendar to sit with her so she won't get lonely. When I watch old movies or old shows with my parents and sister, Aria sometimes hops up on my lap. Everyone agrees that Aria is quite attached to me, and my sister even calls her "your cat."

 

I love animals, but I can't have any of my own since my hours are erratic. It wouldn't be fair for an animal to be locked up alone in my apartment all the time.

 

My sister took this picture in her bedroom in 2008. I think it shows the nature of Aria and my relationship. (Look at her paw and my hand.)

 

 

I am so sorry to read about the insensitivity to your asexuality that you have encountered--and I can tell you that you are not the only one who has been treated that way. I have read a lot about that on the Aven asexuality board. Some people were forced to marry and have sex with a spouse in the name of their religion. How horrible!

 

So, what was I doing on Aven? There was once an asexual man with OCD on Brainphysics (the OCD board where I help people), and a few had members misunderstood him and thought he was a troll mocking their (OCD) sexual fears. They started harassing him, and since the head honcho was away I stepped in to try to mediate. I did not know much about asexuality, so I went to Aven, his asexual board, to learn more. After a few days, I ended up educating the OCD folks about asexuality and the asexual folks about OCD!

 

I stayed on Aven for a while--I think my screen name was Mark from the OCD Board--and I ended up writing the following article: "Understanding Asexuality from the Outside" http://www.asexuality.org/home/node/21

 

It still appears there. I even used my real name, Mark-Ameen Johnson, in the byline (as I did in my OCD article) so that I wouldn't be an anonymous screen name.

 

Is there an asexuality thread here on this board? If there is, let me know since I would be happy to participate. If there is not, perhaps there ought to be. As a sexual minority, I don't like it when people are invisible because of their sexuality or non-sexuality.

[pitchu]

Princess Aria with her built-in tiara! She's beautiful, Ameen.

[Guest QuidEstCaritas?]

Beautiful Cat Ameen.

 

Two thumbs up!!

[Crazycatlady]

You wrote "Understanding Asexuality from the Outside?" I remember reading that a while ago and thinking that it was well-written. I don't think there are any active asexuality threads (there are a few dead ones somewhere on the sex&xtainity board). I've frankly given up on my parents ever understanding asexuality. My mom seems to just dislike labeling (perfectly understandable, but labels do have a purpose), and my dad just scoffs if anytime I indicate a lack of interest in sex. Oh well, fortunately, it's okay for women to be single now (though I would like an introverted, asexual boyfriend/husband).

 

Aria is beautiful. My beloved kitty is named Zorro. He's the black and white one (you can also see his mask in the second pic). We live in a studio apartment and go for regular runs which he surprisingly enjoys/puts up with.

 

 

[Seeker630]

for Ameen----------

 

I've read the entire thread now. First of all, I'm just now getting active posting in here after joining over two years ago. I've been checking in from time to time to read the testimonials section, but until now I never thought about participating much in the forum. Long story short----I've been very active at other boards over the years, and it's time for me to branch out and look at other things. Like you, I spend too much time at the different forums I belong to, but I think it's worth it.

 

Also I'm a Trekkie from way back. I was in high school when the original series was being aired. Very, very controversial at the time I can tell you. But it helps that Gene Roddenberry was an atheist. Just so you know-------I just last week went on a closet cleaning rampage here in my condo. In the bottom of one box I found a record album I had nearly forgotten about. I bought it new in 1967 when I was a senior in high school------------

 

The original Dot records release of-----------------

 

"Mr Spock's Music from Outer Space".

 

It's still in it's original dust jacket and plastic cover. I only played it maybe 5 or 6 times, and I haven't had a turntable in 30 years. But it seems it has some collector's value. So just a few days ago I put it on Craig's List in the "collectibles" section. We'll see if I get any hits.

[Deva]

wow Seeker. I'm not Ameen but must respond. What took you so long to join us? If it were me I wouldn't sell that record unless I was flat broke. It is bound to only increase in value. At least wait until they release the next Star Trek movie. Demand would be sky high. I envy you.

[Seeker630]

wow Seeker. I'm not Ameen but must respond. What took you so long to join us? If it were me I wouldn't sell that record unless I was flat broke. It is bound to only increase in value. At least wait until they release the next Star Trek movie. Demand would be sky high. I envy you.

 

It's not that I hadn't joined you all-----I just didn't post much in the forum. For me Ex-C was a place to read all the de-conversion nightmare stories---a lot of which were so very different than mine. Each of us has our own journey to travel you know. Also, I was very active at other boards, including IIDB until it suffered it's internal meltdown. That was my primary internet home until over a year ago. I've been active at other boards a lot over the last 9 or 10 years, so it's not like I'm a noob to the process or something. I assure you I am an experienced poster. Just not in here. I hope to change that now. I am still very active at one or two other boards right now, so my time at each one I participate at is limited. When I first registered in here my user name was "Latoque". But I asked the admin to change it to Seeker630 for reasons germane to me. He was kind enough to oblige. So now wherever I post on non-believer's forums I am the Seeker630. I figured I ought at least to be consistent. No point in hiding behind other names.

 

Oh and as far as the album is concerned-----------I bought it with my pitiful savings as a high school kid working part time jobs. Even then I thought it would someday be worth more than what I paid for it. I was right. It is the only piece of Star Trek memorabilia I own. So yeah-----I'm gloating a bit now.

[Deva]

Each of us has our own journey to travel you know. Also, I was very active at other boards, including IIDB until it suffered it's internal meltdown. That was my primary internet home until over a year ago. I've been active at other boards a lot over the last 9 or 10 years, so it's not like I'm a noob to the process or something.

 

Sorry Seeker, just kidding around a bit. When I said "joining" I meant posting. You don't owe me any explanation.

[R. S. Martin]

Seeker, your comment about IIDB caused me some concern but it's off-topic here so I'm posting it in the Totally Off-Topic section.

[Ameen]

Wow! I can't believe my introductory thread is still going! There were no posts since January 26th--until yesterday's (February 17th).

 

Aria thanks you and sends Internet licks, pitchu, QuidEstCaritas?, and Crazycatlady.

 

In addition, Aria is currently single and purred loudly when she saw Zorro's photo...

 

Seeker630: As a lifelong comic collector, I echo what DevaLight wrote: Don't be so quick to part with the Mr. Spock record, especially if it is in good shape. At the very least, go to eBay and sites with similar collectibles to see what it is going for in various conditions. If you do sell it, make sure you get a fair price.

 

My father recently inherited old radio equipment (among other things) dating back to the 1940s and 50s. Someone offered him $50 for this "useless" equipment. Fortunately, my savvy sister called someone she knows who is in radio and is familiar with old equipment. He placed these "useless" items in the several thousand dollar range! For a percentage, he sold them on eBay, and my father made a nice amount that he is putting towards a cruise with my mother this summer. Ya never know...

 

DevaLight: Good advice, as I explained in my response to Seeker630.

 

R. S. Martin: I appreciate your taking the discussion to a different thread.

 

I know nothing of IILB, but I did read the thread you started about it and find it interesting. I have only one Internet home: the OCD board where I do volunteer work (in conjunction with a behavior therapist) with a lot of OCD people in desperate situations. I've been there since 2004, and, unless the board ever ceases to exist, I will probably be posting advice there on my deathbed.

 

Otherwise, I have seen my share of Internet nonsense. The first board I ever belonged to, a fansite for reality TV in the eary days of the Internet, imploded and became two warring boards bent on sabotaging each other. Once the personal attacks on people's families (via posts) began, I left in disgust--and I am not in touch with anyone there.

 

I have been kicked off a Christian board. (One day I'll print that story, as it was one the defining moments in my accepting atheism.) I have had problems on other boards like this (Christian and atheist) when Christians or atheists tried to impose their will on me the way Fundametalists had done in the past--and I'm quite simply nobody's bitch.

 

I was on the TrekBBS, the largest Star Trek board, but it was just too big and impersonal for me even though it was impressive and informative. For the past two years I have posted on StarTrekItalia.com, a fan board in Italian. I am the only American and one of only three non-Italians, the other two being German and South African. It is very, very safe, possibly owing to (forgive me!) its being European and not American. There is definitely a large Italian atheist presence on that board, too.

 

I used to be on a gay French board, but the owner decided it was time to close it this past August. Fortunately, he let people know two months in advance, and everything was done in a tasteful and graceful fashion. I really miss that board and its safe feel, but at least I ended up with three gay atheist friends from it. We exchange help in English for help in French. One is 76 years old; the other two are 20 and 21 and in university. They also live in three different cities--none of them in or near Paris--so I get a nice variety of photos and local culture from both northern and southern France.

 

Other gay boards I have been on have tended to be too young for me. Others still have been too nasty. Gay Fundamenlatists are as bad as Christian Fundamentalists and Atheist Fundamentalists.

 

I was on a sexuality board once, but my being gay freaked out a lot of people even though the owner of the board and some of the members had no problem with me and felt the board should be a safe space for everyone. I received a few dehumanizing private messages and, as a result, started a thread in which I said it was hypocritical for people to accept some sexual minorities (i.e. the people with fetishes who posted openly and the people who felt monogamy/marriage were outdated and posted openly) but not others. Who were they to decide whether or not I was 'normal' when, in fact, we are all normal. That did not go over well, and after several pages of abuse hurled at me (plus some support and some disbelief because of the way I was being attacked), I gave up and left.

 

Ironically, the bulk of people I help with OCD are young heterosexual Christian males with sexual fears or obsessions, and they know I am gay. Apparently, Christians with OCD are more open minded than people on a board where one is supposed to explore sexuality in all its fascinating expressions.

 

As you can see, I have little confidence in the Internet or in message boards. These days it's just my OCD board, my Italian Star Trek board--and now this one.

 

I have seen a few good things here. After certain posts, I braced myself for the on-line abuse I have become accustomed to--but none came. Maybe, just maybe, this board is safe?

[Legion]

Maybe, just maybe, this board is safe?

I believe it's mostly safe Ameen.