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Goodbye Jesus

Chocolate On Shit.


nightflight

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:lmao: yea you can put all the chocalate on it and it's still bullshit

 

This kind of Christianity annoys me as much as the original one.

 

I think it's a trick to get you in the church door then they slam you in church with the hellfire original bullshit

 

EXACTLY. That is what happened to me as an adult. After getting away from the more fundamental church of my youth, I joined a contemporary church with my wife. The services were fun, but the babble studies were exactly the same as the ones from my youth

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Another wise person once said: "You can't polish a turd."

 

But you can!

 

The guys on Mythbusters did it!

 

http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/mythbuster...ing-a-turd.html

:lmao:

 

That's amazing! I happily stand corrected.

 

Adapting a bit of graffiti I once read to this, I would still venture to say something along the lines of...

 

When he wrote epistles, Paul

Rolled his shit in little balls

Those who took to heart his writ

Ate those little balls of shit

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Maybe the real problem isn't that Christianity is chocolate on the shit, but that it is the shit on the chocolate.

Hey! What's your Yeshua doing on my chocolate?

 

mwc

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Maybe the real problem isn't that Christianity is chocolate on the shit, but that it is the shit on the chocolate.

Damn! Cavallaro should have been more careful about sanitation. http://www.newsday.com/news/local/newyork/...16.photogallery

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Guest QuidEstCaritas?

Perhaps we are all eating "sh1t" and it just appears to be something else.

 

Oops, that would be transubstantiation, my bad.

 

Funny how that works. :scratch:

 

:lmao:

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The body of christ.

 

The blood of christ.

 

The Hershey squirts?

 

Eeeewwwwwwwwwww!

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Do you think that's a backfire of the liberal version or just a reflection on American culture though? In Europe there is very little fundamentalism left. What religion does exist is of the more liberal brand.

 

According to the book I mentioned, which pushes the theory of "religious economy" from a rational choice perspective:

 

1. America was the dumping ground for all the unwanted kook sects, such as the Puritans.

 

2. In modern Europe the state churches -- especially the Protestant ones like the Lutherans and Anglicans -- grew soft, fat, and complacent on all that state support.

 

3. Whereas in America, all the sects have been completely on their own without public support. This was formalized in the "Wall of Seperation" that actually doesn't exist in Europe like it does here, even in countries like Denmark and the Netherlands.

 

4. Those sects were pretty hard-assed to begin with. The next thing you know they're struggling to survive as well as competing with each other in the American wilderness. Fire-and-brimstone preaching, give us your money or else, show up every week or else, do this do that or else, and you have the recipe for American fundamentalism.

 

5. The denominations that went Liberal beginning in the mid 20th century have largely flopped because they demand very little from their adherents and are pretty noneffectual when it comes to going out and gaining new blood.

 

6. By contrast, the fundie churches are aggressive about gaining converts, and are very demanding on their adherents. You have to do this, you have to do that, or else you gonna burn in hell!!! "This" and "that" includes opening your wallet, shutting off your brain, and making sure your kids serve the Lord as adults.

 

7. That sounds like a shitty deal. However, in exchange for toeing the line, a fundie gets: A. Salvation; B. a sense of deep belonging and identity despite the stigma from non-fundies; C. they get to feel all special and self-righteous compared to everyone else; D. various other perks that they might not get out in the real world.

 

8. What do liberal believers get in exchange? A. Waking up on Sunday morning and missing the game. B. Donuts and coffee. C. Warm, fuzzy, lovey-dovey ooey-gooey hippy dippy religious experiences with the loving teddy bear God made of pure sugary goodness. D. Knowing they'll be alright if they stay home, sleep in, and don't give the church any money, because the liberal God isn't like the mean ol' fundie God that'll send them to hell if they don't. Sounds like a better deal? It sure as hell is! That is, if you're a layperson and not a clergyman!

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There's some shit that would be easy to polish:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprolite

 

If a Christian is real hard-core set in their ways, are there beliefs hard enough to be fossilized? A Coprolitic Christian?

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Maybe the real problem isn't that Christianity is chocolate on the shit, but that it is the shit on the chocolate.

 

Chocolate inside of shit still makes it a piece of shit when you bite into it. That's why dung truffles never hit the market. Although one gag gift my uncle received was a nicely wrapped box of road apples. Gift wrapped shit anyone?

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8. What do liberal believers get in exchange? A. Waking up on Sunday morning and missing the game. B. Donuts and coffee. C. Warm, fuzzy, lovey-dovey ooey-gooey hippy dippy religious experiences with the loving teddy bear God made of pure sugary goodness. D. Knowing they'll be alright if they stay home, sleep in, and don't give the church any money, because the liberal God isn't like the mean ol' fundie God that'll send them to hell if they don't. Sounds like a better deal? It sure as hell is! That is, if you're a layperson and not a clergyman!
Maybe they should go to atheist church instead? http://video.aol.com/video-detail/metaloca...nklok/298652511
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