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I've Been Drinking A Lot Lately


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Maybe I should be concerned to. However, it's kind of a controlled "out of control" stage of my life.

 

I told them tonight that I'm doing this on purpose. Totally letting go because I never have before.

 

Basically, I'm giving myself until about 2011 to just frickin' goof off and be an idiot.

 

Maybe it's not that healthy of a choice, but I'm happy and having fun. However, tonight is the first night I've ever drank myself sick.

 

I still don't understand how I remain so coherent. I rarely forget incidents throughout the night. Once in a while I have some fuzzy moments.

 

Everyone thought I was really messed up tonight and I must have looked like it. However, I'm extremely lucent.

 

Anyone else gone through a stage like this?

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Absololutelyfrickinway I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I am with you all the way Mark. Somedays I don't even understand what is going on in my heart. I feel unleashed, a raw sense of wanting to go completely and utterly crazy in debauchery and lust just to release 13yrs of controlled tension in my body and mind. Yeah I think my friends are a little worried too. I haven't actually done anything "wrong" yet...but give me half the chance and my evil plan will come to fruition :wicked:

 

Im not sure it's normal to control someones thoughts and actions like xtianity did. Don't ask me, I am a complete confused mess trying to work out who I am and who I want to be. One thing I do understand...is rebellion, anger, lust, craziness...cause it's all happening for me.

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Not much desire to try pot or other drugs. I don't think that will change. I do have to consider my daughter in all this as well.

 

At the worst she only sees me being "slightly unwell" if I've been drinking hard the night before.

 

I'm getting into the habit of just leaving my car at home. I took a cab to the pub last night and got rides with friends to the dance club and then home.

 

Night before that I drove my car to the pub, but got a ride home as well...then had to walk a couple of miles to get my car yesterday morning. I needed the exercise anyway... :)

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When I get that wasted, I suddenly have the table manners of a wild boar. Last night we got fucked up at a fancy hotel bar, and then we went and ate at one of Vegas's many all night diners. My friends kept yelling at me and giving me dirty looks. I thought it was because I was saying stupid obnoxious shit or something, but when I called one of 'em up today they said I was attacking my patty melt and fries like a jackal on the Discovery Channel.

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When I get that wasted, I suddenly have the table manners of a wild boar. Last night we got fucked up at a fancy hotel bar, and then we went and ate at one of Vegas's many all night diners. My friends kept yelling at me and giving me dirty looks. I thought it was because I was saying stupid obnoxious shit or something, but when I called one of 'em up today they said I was attacking my patty melt and fries like a jackal on the Discovery Channel.

That's a classic...thanks for the belly laugh :lmao::lmao:

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I know, my stepmom thinks having (literally) a couple of drinks is being alcoholic. Um no, being alcoholic is when you can't stop drinking and it affects your life.

 

I have been trying different types of drinks lately because I never drank much when I was religious, even though my family was not overly strict about it. I like brandy, but if I drink more than one wine glass full, it'll put me to sleep. So I usually stick to wine or beer. I like red wine the most. I also like a good Bloody Mary.

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Man...I had such a blast last night. Drank too much, danced too much, spent too much money, hit on too many women...it was kind of like a good Evangelical church service... :D

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Anyone else gone through a stage like this?

 

Yes. Although maybe in shorter bursts, and it wasn't until after I'd not only left home, but also divorced my first spouse.

 

I never got particularly wild or out of control, but I sure did some things that were out of character for awhile. Turns out a lot of 'em weren't actually out of character, I just hadn't ever really had the opportunity or emotional safety to figure out what I really liked and wanted, when it came to a variety of vices!

 

Never was much of a drinker. Biomom was an alcoholic, so I've always had to watch that. Binged now and again, but figured out pretty quickly that getting drunk enough to barf really isn't that fun. So I know my happy medium for drinking now, and indulge only to my comfortable limits.

 

I didn't try any illicit substances until I was in my late 20's. Also didn't start experimenting sexually until the past year or so, with current spouse. Holy crap, now I have a spouse and a boyfriend, and it's fucking amazing. Talk about totally blowing all the old paradigms out of the water...!

 

So yeah, going through a sort of rebellious phase, well - I bet a lot of us do it.

 

Incidentally, some advice from an alcoholic's daughter: if you find yourself drinking to excess every night, blacking out, unable to cope with a day unless you have a drink first thing in the morning, drinking all day, hiding bottles around the house, abandoning friends and family to go drink, driving drunk, sneaking around town to different liquor stores to buy your stuff so none of them know how much you actually drink, blowing significant chunks of your income on alcohol, or - worst of all - being drunk around your kid, well - those are pretty sure signs that you do have a problem, and should hie yourself to the nearest rehab or detox program and sober up pronto.

 

Otherwise, party responsibly, and know that yeah, probably a lotta folks go through a period of sowing their wild oats.

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Shit man, I've been in Vegas nearly four years. That first year I was here, I thought my liver was going to go on strike. That seems to be universal: when someone moves here, that first year is always the absolute most ape-shit craziest... and it takes a year to adjust to the lifestyle here. Well, if you don't adjust, you're fucked basically. This town can swallow you up *GULP* like a big fish eating a little fish.

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I'm 27 and went through a stage like this. Still am really. I'm also a psychology student so I keep analyzing myself. It really is because of the bottling up of feelings and emotions that causes this. Alcohol and sex are taboo in Christianity. I grew up thinking they were evil and that I shouldn't enjoy the areas of life. I started drinking and love it. I got sick quite a lot but I wasn't harming anyone and was being responsible. I also experimented with sex (still do). My repressed thoughts, feelings and emotions came out like a tidal wave. Still are to be honest. I only gave up religion 100 percent sometime last year. Before that I was slowly de-converting but was in denial. Now I'm free and exploring life. Life is somewhat of a drug for me. Things I found taboo before are so exciting now. Especially culture. Explore life as much as possible but be safe and responsible about it.

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I'm 27 and went through a stage like this. Still am really. I'm also a psychology student so I keep analyzing myself. It really is because of the bottling up of feelings and emotions that causes this. Alcohol and sex are taboo in Christianity. I grew up thinking they were evil and that I shouldn't enjoy the areas of life. I started drinking and love it. I got sick quite a lot but I wasn't harming anyone and was being responsible. I also experimented with sex (still do). My repressed thoughts, feelings and emotions came out like a tidal wave. Still are to be honest. I only gave up religion 100 percent sometime last year. Before that I was slowly de-converting but was in denial. Now I'm free and exploring life. Life is somewhat of a drug for me. Things I found taboo before are so exciting now. Especially culture. Explore life as much as possible but be safe and responsible about it.

 

Hudson you have just described me exactly where I am in life at the moment too!! :HaHa:

 

I only gave up my xtianity a few months ago...and I feel like I am on a wild journey of exploring all those taboo areas that were repressed in my brain. Yes, I love culture now as well. As a xtian I closed myself off to just about everything thinking it was of the devil. Now I can appreciate every different facet of humanity in all its glory and realise thats the point. You don't have to be narrowminded or judgemental. Being accepting and loving is far more freeing!

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