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Christian 'friends' - Where Are They Now?


Guest mrmatt
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When I left my church and the faith about 2 months ago, i thought that within about a week or two I'd have dozens of messages, emails, text messages coming through from church 'brothers and sisters' enquiring where I had got to..But amazingly (even though many of these so-called fiends have my email address, or are friends with me on facebook) with the exception of the pastor, I have not received a single word...It's like I have fallen off the face of the earth and they didn't notice...All I can say is thank gawd for all my 'secular' friends, real friends. And it makes me shudder to think that when I was heavily involved, brainwashed and 'on fire for gawd' how I must have seemed to family and friends, what an ass I must have been! As is so clearly the case with the asses at my former church..

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Yea, hate that; I feel your pain and think that most of us here can relate to that experience. We probably shouldn't be that shocked however. The scriptures are rather clear that believers are to disassociate themselves from those who have left the faith.

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Honestly...the departure of my christian friends was not so surprising to me as it seems to me I was shunned at least monthly for not doing "right"....whatever that meant. I was booted out of the congregation at least twice in 10 years. When I asked my old pastor once why god would have allowed me to give my girl away his response was that maybe god allowed it "to get under my skin" and draw me back to him.....WTF is that?? Please....these people have no idea what unconditional love and acceptance is and therefore cannot be a true friend to anyone. I have found lately that I am not always such a good friend myself...need to relearn all that.

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This is funny to me. I have been so relieved that I have not heard from my church friends. Of course, I see and talk to my sister and my mother regularly, and I have had coffee with my very dear friend who attends that church. But I have not had personal contact from anyone else (I am still on the ladies e-mail list) and I am very happy about it.

 

I am going to have surgery next week and I will be in the hospital for three days and in rehab for 7 – 10 days. (Most likely I will not have computer access… sigh.) My big fear is that the church ladies will take this opportunity, while I am a captive audience, to visit and try to convince me of the error of my ways. Trust me when I say that if they don’t visit, I will be thrilled!!!

 

I consider myself extremely lucky to have many friends who love me for who I am, not for what I believe!!!

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I am going to have surgery next week and I will be in the hospital for three days and in rehab for 7 – 10 days. (Most likely I will not have computer access… sigh.) My big fear is that the church ladies will take this opportunity, while I am a captive audience, to visit and try to convince me of the error of my ways. Trust me when I say that if they don’t visit, I will be thrilled!!!

 

If I lived anywhere near you I would volunteer to come to the hospital and stand guard at your door to keep the church ladies from getting in!

 

Oh, how I hate how Christians, like vultures, attempt to prey on the weak (or at least those they perceive as weak)!

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If I lived anywhere near you I would volunteer to come to the hospital and stand guard at your door to keep the church ladies from getting in!

 

Dear L4A, that is so sweet! Luckily, I do have some friends that will take anyone to task who behaves in an intrusive manner. And, even though I do not want to be cornered, I must say that most of the church ladies really are a nice bunch of women. They might try to show me that I am not thinking clearly by loving me to death, but I don’t think they will be too obnoxious if I ask them to cease and desist!

 

I should also mention that another reason I found the OP pretty funny is because my dear atheist friend who helped me see the delusion that I was living under, actually predicted that I would not hear from anyone once I stopped attending church. And, other than family and a one very dear friend, I have not. I guess I need to tell him that he was right. Once again, he was right!!! (I would think it would be exhausting to be right all of the time!!!)

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I am going to have surgery next week and I will be in the hospital for three days and in rehab for 7 – 10 days. (Most likely I will not have computer access… sigh.)

 

Best wishes for a speedy recovery noob. Please keep us posted.

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I am going to have surgery next week and I will be in the hospital for three days and in rehab for 7 – 10 days. (Most likely I will not have computer access… sigh.)

 

Best wishes for a speedy recovery noob. Please keep us posted.

 

Thank you, Deva! I'll let you know as soon as I have access to a computer. I really appreciate the good wishes!!!

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Hope it all goes well for ya noob. Hurry back so we (I) can see more pics of those sexy feet and toes of yours.:wicked:

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I haven't heard from or spoken to the friends I had in elementary school in years, although I went to the same church until I graduated from college.

 

OTOH, some folks I met in college, I still talk to/e-mail on a regular basis.

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Hope it all goes well for ya noob. Hurry back so we (I) can see more pics of those sexy feet and toes of yours.:wicked:

 

Sorry, mrmatt for being off topic. I didn't mean to sidetrack your thread. Justin, I was thinking that I needed to get a pedicure before I went into the hospital next Tuesday. What do you think, French Manicure or Ruby Red toenails??? :)

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...I have not received a single word...It's like I have fallen off the face of the earth and they didn't notice...

 

My guess is that what morontheists call "friendship" is basically (often) just mutual support for each other's delusions. Morontheists associate with their "friends" to hear "your delusions are teh tr00th" from them, and to tell them the same in return. You leave the cult, they know you won't help them anymore keeping their willful braindeath alive, so no need to spend any more time with you. In fact, doing so is dangerous because in the time they are with you, now they won't get their fix.

 

And we know what happens to morontheists who don't get their fix :fdevil:

 

Of course that is all just my personal outside opinion and I never was a morontheist myself, so I may be wrong... but it seems damn plausible to me to see it that way.

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When I left the nondenom ministry my e-mail was flooded with messages of how I was going to go to hell or I needed to come back to the fold, buy the correct Bible translation, etc. Six months later, not one peep out of anyone. All but one of the Protestants quit writing, but my Catholic friends have stayed in touch over the years. Which proves to me who is the mouthiest on television, the internet, and in public--Protestants! Being a preacher's kid and leaving the church just about puts the other half of my extended family almost into convulsions when the whole family gets together to brag about who defeated Satan over the holidays. Which usually means they spent it in detox while I am partying with the Catholics! Even in college I knew the Newman Center was the place to meet new people. I have never been shunned by the Catholic crowd, only Protestants. I would have become a Catholic Priest years ago if it weren't for the no-sex thing, well no-sex with women anyway. Bucking the status quo when leaving the church always makes for a lonely period in life when you are trying to recover from the cult of the cross and you are bombarded with religious do-gooders trying to make you go back to church. When they quit writing is when recovery really starts. Be thankful for the serenity.

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This is funny to me. I have been so relieved that I have not heard from my church friends. Of course, I see and talk to my sister and my mother regularly, and I have had coffee with my very dear friend who attends that church. But I have not had personal contact from anyone else (I am still on the ladies e-mail list) and I am very happy about it.

 

I am going to have surgery next week and I will be in the hospital for three days and in rehab for 7 – 10 days. (Most likely I will not have computer access… sigh.) My big fear is that the church ladies will take this opportunity, while I am a captive audience, to visit and try to convince me of the error of my ways. Trust me when I say that if they don’t visit, I will be thrilled!!!

 

I consider myself extremely lucky to have many friends who love me for who I am, not for what I believe!!!

 

Do this----------tell the hospital staff that they are not to allow any visitors other than family or friends that you specifically list for them. End of story. And you won't have to worry about any surprises walking through the door to your room.

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When I left my church and the faith about 2 months ago, i thought that within about a week or two I'd have dozens of messages, emails, text messages coming through from church 'brothers and sisters' enquiring where I had got to..But amazingly (even though many of these so-called fiends have my email address, or are friends with me on facebook) with the exception of the pastor, I have not received a single word...It's like I have fallen off the face of the earth and they didn't notice.

 

How could this be bad? You should consider it a gift that you now know who your unconditional friends are. The other sort aren't worth having.

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My guess is that what morontheists call "friendship" is basically (often) just mutual support for each other's delusions.

Yep, I think you're dead on about that. In fact, my (former) closest friend, who has now apparently cut off contact with me, said the following when I told her a few weeks ago about my deconversion: "I feel a bit at a loss as to what this means for our friendship. It seems what was the common thread to our relationship has suddenly disappeared (suddenly on my part anyway). Surely no devout atheist could promote a friendship with a pastor's wife . . . ."

 

Well, I'll be a monkey's aunt - and here I thought we had other stuff in common! We're both young mothers to several small children, both going through the same phase of life, and we have many of the same interests. But apparently the only reason we were friends was because of Jeezus? Damn.

 

mrmatt, I'm sorry the lack of care from your christian, "friends" has been a disappointment. Just be glad you have some nonreligious friends to lean on. I guess hubby and I should have found us some of those before going public with our atheism. :shrug:

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