PandaPirate Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I am still going through conflict within my relationship about beliefs. My bf says he doesn't care that I'm not a Christian anymore yet he always laces conversations with, "Yeah, Jesus said in the Bible..." and I always tell him not to talk about the bible to me because it's a fairy tale. Then he wants to get angry and defend his religion. Mind you, he does not go to church nor does he pray or have a "relationship" with the lawd. I know he questions his religion from time to time but he always finds some reason to stay. When I try to point out why christianity is so insipid and lame he doesn't even listen to reason. When he uses the "finely tuned for life" or "Intelligent Design" argument I quickly point out that there is a species of wasp that will paralyze its prey then lay its eggs in it so that their young can feed on live flesh. That sounds like a real loving god that created those wasps. So I asked him WHY do you believe what you believe? Do you even know? His answer was that "It makes me feel better to beleive." So I said, "So you don't believe because it is the truth, you believe because it makes you feel good? That's not a reason." I'm fed up with it. I don't think I can stay in this relationship anymore. I thought I could put this one difference aside but now I'm not so sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I can relate. I'm going thru the same thing with my wife. She's not a church goer, but she gets really offended that I don't believe there is a "God" or soemthing other than this life out there. We just don't talk about it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gypsy79 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 My husband and I kinda have the same thing going on as Kyle and his wife. We simply don't talk about it. DH doesn't go to church or pray or anything, but he still believes in the Bible and God and that the earth would be morally bankrupt without religion to hold all us evil murdering atheists and agnostics in check. Last time I checked, I still act the same as when I was an xian...no murders yet. LOL. He knows how I feel and I know how he feels, so we just leave it alone. I'm so glad that he's not a Bible-thumper that, frankly, I don't even worry about it. I would feel bad arguing with him about his beliefs since I believed the same thing for so long. I would hate to make it sound like he has to change his beliefs just because I did. This sounds like a different situation than yours, though, Panda. It would get on my nerves very quickly if DH started lacing conversations with references to Jesus and the Bible for no valid reason. Ugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 [Marxism]People often misquote "opiate of the masses" because Marx wasn't simply saying that "religion makes people stupid." Rather, he was saying that it was their outlet, the "sigh of the repressed", their way of coping with life being so shitty. Today, consumerism serves that function for many in the West, rather than religion.[/Marxism] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodsmoke Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 So I asked him WHY do you believe what you believe? Do you even know? His answer was that "It makes me feel better to beleive." So I said, "So you don't believe because it is the truth, you believe because it makes you feel good? That's not a reason." Seems like a perfectly legitimate reason to me. Mind you, I almost certainly couldn't maintain a relationship (let alone a romantic one) with someone who's always referencing the bible and spouting religious platitudes, but that doesn't invalidate his reason for believing. Honestly, I respect that a lot more than I do someone whose belief is rooted in fear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PandaPirate Posted March 12, 2009 Author Share Posted March 12, 2009 [Marxism]People often misquote "opiate of the masses" because Marx wasn't simply saying that "religion makes people stupid." Rather, he was saying that it was their outlet, the "sigh of the repressed", their way of coping with life being so shitty. Today, consumerism serves that function for many in the West, rather than religion.[/Marxism] I referenced Marx because in the full text he says "Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people." This is directly related to my boyfriend's response in that he believes because it makes him feel good. Hence, the opium reference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joD Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Hmm, interesting conversation going on here! My hubby is sad that I have left, but I don't think he is taking me seriously. I think he's assuming I'm going through a midlife thing (just turned 45 in Feb) and will come back to my senses soon. He keeps brining up his faith, and I've told him I don't agree with that position anymore, but respect him for where he is. I just don't like it that I am feeling like I am living in his "house of faith", like he prays over dinner and stuff. I've stopped bowing my head. He talks to me as if we're in agreement, he'll say something like, well you know god is the creator!" And I'm like, hell, I don't KNOW that! if I were dating him, this would be the time to break it off. But we have 27 years, 6 kids and a morgage together...sigh. And, I do care for him. But religion was the center piece of our marriage for all those years... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomadic techno-gypsy Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Sorry you're going through this. . . I was engaged to a lovely young lady when I realized I could no longer buy the fable. It was a mutual break-up, and we were fairly civil. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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