Anna Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 I am 15 and I live with my family who are christian. They keep my in a sort of sensored christian bubble. Im not allowed to go to non christian freinds houses or have non christian freinds at all! Im exspected to be a good chistian girl and up to a month ago I was. The closed minded, deluded girl I once was is gone but unfortunately I still have to live pretending to be christian. I want to get out of this secluded bubble for good and the only way has got to be to tell my parents I think religon is rubbish XD how should I break it to them? I gotta do it soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caretaker Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 How are things in New Zealand as far as financial aid for college? It sounds like your parents would be the type to only pay for Good Christian colleges, so you may need to find a way to get funding for college on your own. Or at the very least, be in a financial position to move out and never have to move back in with your parents when you hit whatever age it is you are considered a legal adult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 how should I break it to them? I gotta do it soon. Kind of echoing Caretaker's posting... up to what age are you legally considered a child/adolescent in NZ? As long as your "wonderful" parents have the right to make decisions for you, I'm afraid much hardship awaits if you come out to them Depending on how many options you have to spend time outside your home (school or similar, although I'm afraid you will have been forced into a christian brainwashing temple instead of a decent school?), with people who understand and accept you, it may be best for you to grind your teeth for a few more years and play along with your brainwashed parents, apparently at least. Naturally this will be *cough cough* kind of hard. And while we're at it, as "christian" can mean anything depending on the specific brand of the cult... what exactly do they call "christianity"? Science denial? Religious bigotry against homosexuals, other "races", females, whatever other group? End times hysteria? Just a few points that may well be of interest... That said, welcome to our place and *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 New Zealand is fairly godless, isn't it? When compared to the USA, I mean. I'd be surprised if they even had any Christian colleges. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 How are things in New Zealand as far as financial aid for college? It sounds like your parents would be the type to only pay for Good Christian colleges, so you may need to find a way to get funding for college on your own. Or at the very least, be in a financial position to move out and never have to move back in with your parents when you hit whatever age it is you are considered a legal adult. we dont have christian colleges in new zealand. I can probably move out when im 18 but I want to face my problems if I can before I make a dash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 how should I break it to them? I gotta do it soon. Kind of echoing Caretaker's posting... up to what age are you legally considered a child/adolescent in NZ? As long as your "wonderful" parents have the right to make decisions for you, I'm afraid much hardship awaits if you come out to them Depending on how many options you have to spend time outside your home (school or similar, although I'm afraid you will have been forced into a christian brainwashing temple instead of a decent school?), with people who understand and accept you, it may be best for you to grind your teeth for a few more years and play along with your brainwashed parents, apparently at least. Naturally this will be *cough cough* kind of hard. And while we're at it, as "christian" can mean anything depending on the specific brand of the cult... what exactly do they call "christianity"? Science denial? Religious bigotry against homosexuals, other "races", females, whatever other group? End times hysteria? Just a few points that may well be of interest... That said, welcome to our place and *hugs* Its 18 here I go to a normal science loving school at the moment (yay). It might just blurt out I dont know if I can actually hold it in. The duluded nonsence that splurts out of my fathers mouth daily is hard to put up with XD. My parents go to an evangelical church or whatever (they make me go still) um they follow the pastor so whatever the pastor says is christianity really. At one point they paticipated in a march to promote "family values" so I guess they arnt too keen on the gays. YAY *hugs* im gonna like it here :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 New Zealand is fairly godless, isn't it? When compared to the USA, I mean. I'd be surprised if they even had any Christian colleges. Yeah I mean most people here are atheist actually. I really dont know much about how much christianity influences America. Only what ive gathered from the internet and differnt tv programs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PitterPatter Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 You might really really want to be honest and just tell them that you don't believe, but the reality is...you're under their roof right now. If they find out that you haven't been properly indoctrinated things are going to get a lot worse. You think the restrictions and church-going is bad now, but it would definitely get rammed harder down your throat and more often. If I were you I'd just go along to get along for the time being. Sucks, I know. My parents are fundy too. It'll be a lot easier to be openly Atheist to them when they can't really harm you for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Genesis Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 I'm also in a situation where I have to keep my lack of beliefs hidden from my parents although they are no where near as extreme as yours. I agree with what others say that it's probably better to lay low for now and not be open with your apostasy until you're able enough to live on your own without their support. It can be difficult, but we're always here if you need any help with anything. One thing that sort of helps me is to try looking at yourself as being like an anthropologist who's assimilating with the local cult in the jungles to do research on their behaviors and culture but to reveal your plans might anger the natives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBW Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 I'm also in a situation where I have to keep my lack of beliefs hidden from my parents although they are no where near as extreme as yours. I agree with what others say that it's probably better to lay low for now and not be open with your apostasy until you're able enough to live on your own without their support. It can be difficult, but we're always here if you need any help with anything. One thing that sort of helps me is to try looking at yourself as being like an anthropologist who's assimilating with the local cult in the jungles to do research on their behaviors and culture but to reveal your plans might anger the natives. Ha, I like this! Good way to look at it, NG. Welcome Anna, and I have to agree with everyone, if your parents are foaming-at-the-mouth fundamentalist Christians, your life will probably become much harder if you, "out" yourself to them. I understand what it's like to live under such tyranny, which is why I bolted from my parents' house when I turned 18 and never looked back. My little sister living at home really suffered after telling our parents that she was agnostic, so although your folks might be more reasonable than mine are, your safest bet is to keep your beliefs to yourself until you're on your own. Once you're out, though, I'm all for shouting it from the rooftops! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 I really dont know much about how much christianity influences America. Only what ive gathered from the internet and differnt tv programs. Enough to where you should consider yourself fortunate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 I'm also in a situation where I have to keep my lack of beliefs hidden from my parents although they are no where near as extreme as yours. I agree with what others say that it's probably better to lay low for now and not be open with your apostasy until you're able enough to live on your own without their support. It can be difficult, but we're always here if you need any help with anything. One thing that sort of helps me is to try looking at yourself as being like an anthropologist who's assimilating with the local cult in the jungles to do research on their behaviors and culture but to reveal your plans might anger the natives. hehehe thats a cool way to look at it. I must not reviel my plans to the natives! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 I'm also in a situation where I have to keep my lack of beliefs hidden from my parents although they are no where near as extreme as yours. I agree with what others say that it's probably better to lay low for now and not be open with your apostasy until you're able enough to live on your own without their support. It can be difficult, but we're always here if you need any help with anything. One thing that sort of helps me is to try looking at yourself as being like an anthropologist who's assimilating with the local cult in the jungles to do research on their behaviors and culture but to reveal your plans might anger the natives. Ha, I like this! Good way to look at it, NG. Welcome Anna, and I have to agree with everyone, if your parents are foaming-at-the-mouth fundamentalist Christians, your life will probably become much harder if you, "out" yourself to them. I understand what it's like to live under such tyranny, which is why I bolted from my parents' house when I turned 18 and never looked back. My little sister living at home really suffered after telling our parents that she was agnostic, so although your folks might be more reasonable than mine are, your safest bet is to keep your beliefs to yourself until you're on your own. Once you're out, though, I'm all for shouting it from the rooftops! I realise I probably have to wait. If I tell them I recon they will either pull me in closer so i cant escape and make me wach lots of creationist programs or kick me out. Now to study the natives Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Time drags when you're as young as you are. Four years seems like forever at that age, but to someone our age it flies by like one year would go by in your time. Hang in there. You'll do fine. Just think how sweet freedom will be when you finally get to fly the coop! And be glad you live in godless New Zealand and not in the Bible Belt of America where there's no escaping Christianity's obnoxious ubiquity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joD Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Hang in there Anna! I agree with everyone here, just do your time. Do you journal? I have had some hard times that I have poured my thougts out in my journal just to keep from exploding, since I had no one to talk to. Our online community is awesome, you're among friends here! One thing you can do, is to think. They can't take that away! Whatever goes on in your mind and heart is YOURS alone. So, even though you can't be open about your new beliefs, you have the power to decide for yourself what is true. No one can take that away! (Even if you have to keep it to yourself for awhile!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKR Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Great replies so far, and I agree. It's like when a parent finds out their kid is doing drugs or hanging out with the wrong crowd; they aren't just going to say "oh well." They're going to up your bullshit dosage. I'm all for telling the parents once you're out of their grasp, but telling them now will only increase their grip as others have said. Just keep coming to places like this and let it out online. You might want to cover your tracks though. Delete any cookies/history to places like this or they'll probably cut off your internet use. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I go to a normal science loving school at the moment (yay). It might just blurt out I dont know if I can actually hold it in. The duluded nonsence that splurts out of my fathers mouth daily is hard to put up with XD. Good. The more sane places you have to go to, the better. My parents go to an evangelical church or whatever (they make me go still) um they follow the pastor so whatever the pastor says is christianity really. At one point they paticipated in a march to promote "family values" so I guess they arnt too keen on the gays. Ah, "good christian" sheeple as expected. YAY *hugs* im gonna like it here :3 Aye, we're a cool crowd here. Well... me... cool... oh well, anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 Time drags when you're as young as you are. Four years seems like forever at that age, but to someone our age it flies by like one year would go by in your time. Hang in there. You'll do fine. Just think how sweet freedom will be when you finally get to fly the coop! And be glad you live in godless New Zealand and not in the Bible Belt of America where there's no escaping Christianity's obnoxious ubiquity. I can already taste the freedom lulz! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 Hang in there Anna!I agree with everyone here, just do your time. Do you journal? I have had some hard times that I have poured my thougts out in my journal just to keep from exploding, since I had no one to talk to. Our online community is awesome, you're among friends here! One thing you can do, is to think. They can't take that away! Whatever goes on in your mind and heart is YOURS alone. So, even though you can't be open about your new beliefs, you have the power to decide for yourself what is true. No one can take that away! (Even if you have to keep it to yourself for awhile!) I think a journal is a great idea I might start one! I must say im very glad I found this place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 Great replies so far, and I agree. It's like when a parent finds out their kid is doing drugs or hanging out with the wrong crowd; they aren't just going to say "oh well." They're going to up your bullshit dosage. I'm all for telling the parents once you're out of their grasp, but telling them now will only increase their grip as others have said. Just keep coming to places like this and let it out online. You might want to cover your tracks though. Delete any cookies/history to places like this or they'll probably cut off your internet use. To be honest I havnt really thought about what they would do if they were to react badly. I just cant imagine it really. I think they would sort of be shocked and thats as far as I can think of what they might do. I dont realy tell them important stuff anyway so I have no clue what they will say. lulz they might cry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 I go to a normal science loving school at the moment (yay). It might just blurt out I dont know if I can actually hold it in. The duluded nonsence that splurts out of my fathers mouth daily is hard to put up with XD. Good. The more sane places you have to go to, the better. My parents go to an evangelical church or whatever (they make me go still) um they follow the pastor so whatever the pastor says is christianity really. At one point they paticipated in a march to promote "family values" so I guess they arnt too keen on the gays. Ah, "good christian" sheeple as expected. YAY *hugs* im gonna like it here :3 Aye, we're a cool crowd here. Well... me... cool... oh well, anyway Im very much loving it here already Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueGiant Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 First off, I'm guessing that you'd like to tell them on your terms so, if you're going to frequent here, I suggest you learn to cache-bash (i.e. delete cookies, history, don't keep this under favorites, etc). If your browser has a don't track personal data mode (aka porn-mode) use that as a good first step. This goes double if it is on a shared computer. Second: your parents may flip out, they may not. That kind of reaction is really hard to predict (more specifically, it's really easy to get wrong). Either way, I wouldn't dwell on telling them unless it is coming up with a concrete plan (and as far as that goes, hope for best but prepare for the worst, as in be ready if you have to leave in a hurry). I've known people who came out religiously whose parents were in the disagree but love you anyway camp and left it at that. On the other end, one of my friend's mother burned all his stuff and hit him in the head with a Bible. Not that I am saying that either of these scenarios are applicable to your situation, more illustrating the extremes. Don't feel you *have* to say anything one way or another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 It's been my experience, growing up in a fundy household where my father was a very strict Southern Baptist minister and my mother was more a liberal Methodist, making waves about religion can make your life a miserable hell until you are old enough to leave home. Wait until you have your own place to live before you pick a fight with your parents over religion. You can tell them now that you are not a believer but I would avoid an all out battle over it. Being made to go where you do not want to go sucks at any age but age is not on your side right now. I have no idea what the age of majority is where you live but being very young and on your own and perhaps separated from your family indefinitely due to squabbles about the invisible sky-daddy may not be something you want to experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted March 18, 2009 Super Moderator Share Posted March 18, 2009 Minors are dependents and must live by their parents' rules. Whether they take you to church, make you take violin lessons, or play soccer, they generally want what they think is best for their children, even if they are misguided. As long as you aren't beaten, starved, molested, or otherwise abused, try to understand them and get along a while longer. You will be independent for most of your life, so look at this short time as a learning and maturing period. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I agree with the live by your parents rules until you are legally old enough to move out. Play it cautious until then IMHO, unless you are willing to live with a possibly excessive reaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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