Jump to content

The House Of Cards Has Collapsed


Guest jdaniel0910
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest jdaniel0910

My name is Daniel. I have spent the last three years trying to reconcile myself to fundamentalism but I have had to finally be honest with myself and walk away. I feel a lack of acceptance from those closest to me, so I am looking for others who I can relate to.

 

I am 24 years old. I have spent my whole life worshipping an imaginary being, a Bronze Age myth. I have come to see that none of the gods out there (Yahweh, Allah, God the Father, etc.) match up with reality. I don't know if total atheism is my final destination, but I know that I have rejected the Yahwistic gods (including Allah) and the phony Father figure of Christianity.

 

It will take awhile to adjust to the realities of the universe, such as evolution and the idea that there is no Father god watching over me, waiting to receive me into Glory. Not only am I not able to convince myself of any afterlife, but I am not able to convince myself of any purpose to my life (yet). This is such a huge transition from fundamentalism. It feels like I have entered a new universe, and the sight of it so terrifies me that I want to put the cloth of fundamentalism back over my eyes, even though that is no longer possible. I can no longer deceive myself.

 

I am so glad to find a community of people where so many can share what they are going through, and where so many of us are in the same boat. From one human being to another, this is extremely painful and liberating all at the same time.

 

I have written a confession which details my story, and would be glad to share it with anyone who is interested. I look forward to hearing all of your stories.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey there Daniel, welcome to ex-C.

 

I hope you’ll take your time with things. You are still young and have the luxury of time. I think you are very fortunate to have awakened when you did. I hope you’ll continue test each new idea you encounter against your own reason and see if it makes sense.

 

Anyway, again welcome.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Super Moderator

Welcome!

 

It helps just to know you're not alone, and this is a good place to get that realization.

 

Enjoy the site, and don't be shy to ask questions.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am not able to convince myself of any purpose to my life (yet).

 

Isn't that wonderful, comrade? If your life has no pourpose, it means noone has imposed a destiny upon you. You do not have a plan to fulfill. You are free to make your own choices. You can be whatever you choose!

 

You have regained your free will, comrade, the freedom to choose your own fate as oposed to serving a cruel god's masterplan.

Isn't that wonderful, comrade?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Daniel and welcome to ex-c! We're glad you are here. I hope you take time to look around. Lots of great posts on the forum. I love reading peoples stories, their journey out of a life of faith into a life of LIFE! I understand, it is hard at first. I felt like I would start and stop and even make a few u-turns before really moving away from the principles that have governed my entire life. It's scarey and delicious at the same time. Take your time, and enjoy this new brave world you have entered. Hope to see more of you on here! joD

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It doesn't need to be painful. Release the pain. It's not worth holding on to. To experience the divine is to experience total love and acceptance. When you feel completely loved and accepted, there is no need to hold on to pain. Whatever you are going through as your beliefs mature is exactly what you need to be going through in order to grow as a human being. I believe that is something worth celebrating, not mourning :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome to the forums, Daniel.

 

Every now and then a thread pops us relating to the idea of "the purpose of life." It's a concept a lot of ex-xians struggle with. Personally, I think the purpose of life is to live it.

 

All the rest is a series of goals... and now you can choose them yourself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One of the very first things on your to-do list is to go out and get laid. Be glad this happened at age 23 and not 28 like it did for me. There's still time to have a normal sex life that commences at a normal age!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest QuidEstCaritas?

Welcome brother.

 

It will take time, but you can learn to go through the stages of the grieving process.

 

You might have scars left over when you are done, but you can do it and you can be true to yourself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like Foxy's comments. ( I still haven't figured out how to "quote" someone, sorry!). I intend to copy what he wrote and put it in a prominent place to read over and over.

 

That being said, I think the reason (at least for me) for the pain, is moving away from my previous comfort zone, the only social network I've ever had, the religion I've raised my kids to believe in (their worried about me!), the place where I previously found meaning in life. It makes sense that there is pain involved in leaving. However, releasing the pain does make room for personal growth. Accepting where you are right now is also a first step. Thanks Foxy for your insight. Keep reaching for more, Daniel!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wherever your path leads, may you find what was lacking in organized religion. Personally, I don't think the religion is all that bad. I just think people in the organization need to stop pretending followers were created for the organization and not the organization for the followers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think one thing you'll find here that helps with that "liberating but scary" feeling is that we don't have anything to hide. There is no standard of the "ideal" ex-christian and we all struggle with different things. Sometimes you'll post something that really strikes a nerve with the rest of us, sometimes there will only be a few replies. But no matter what, we're all together in this awesome thing called life and we're not going to look down on you for the bumps you might hit along the way. Support others here and you'll receive support and advice in return. Welcome to life!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.