Dr. House Says People Don't Change.

[Ouroboros]

Some people might not be able to change, but it's a hasty generalization to say that no one can. Just because some can't, it doesn't mean no one can't.

 

Society changes. Law changes. Science changes. Our knowledge and understanding changes. We're not just pre-programmed robots. We're influenced to change. We take drugs that changes us. We learn new things that changes us. We train to change. So I'm very certain people can change.

[Shyone]

 

The change isn't really a change if it's a tendency that is built in. Otherwise, everyone would react to the "same" thing the same way. Rape/sexual abuse turns some women into suicidal depression, some to hate and anger, some to sexual promiscuity, some to a feel of needing to reach out to abuse women and the possibilities go on... but someone with a depressive tendency doesn't usually become an evangelist.

 

Does that make any sense? I think it does. Hubby doesn't. But he's the psychologist, I'm the angry un-believer I guess. =P

I see where you're coming from. We react differently because of who we are. Can any circumstance change people in the same direction consistently? No. We are who we are.

 

But I think that overcoming addiction requires the person to be capable of doing so, but there is no requirement for that person to stop being addicted. There was no inevitability that the addiction would cease as the result of that person's "innate" ability to stop what they were doing.

 

Identical twin studies are revealing in this area. If all we are is dictated by our physical makeup, then why are twins raised apart different at all? Circumstances clearly play a role in who we become, but then having the will to reverse bad outcomes is more than physical, and not predetermined at all.

 

If you say, "Under the exact same circumstances, twins will react the same", I would disagree, but then it is literally impossible to have the exact same circumstances even if the twins are raised together. Part of our differences have to do with such minor things that we may as well say that no two people are alike.

 

You mentioned changing into an evangelist. This may be the result, not just of the fact of being raped and the person's innate tendencies (whether physical or environmental), but possibly because someone else took the opportunity to preach to the vulnerable woman, which changes her thinking, and she may indeed become an evagelist. Or she may be ostracised and become depressed. Or she may be taunted and become sexually promiscuous. The outcome of an event alone, even for a particular individual, may be in one of many divergent directions depending on what happens and how s/he responds to the circumstances.

 

Unless you can say that all of our social interactions are predestined, you cannot say that a person will react a certain way. The way we react to death, rape, loss of love, or disease is heavily dependent on how they interact with those around them AFTER the fact.

 

IOW, there is nothing inevitable about reactions. We can't go back in time to test our theory with individuals. They will each be exposed to a unique set of circumstances after any trauma or success. Sometimes it may seem determined. A person with an addictive personality, history of addiction, and a lifestyle that facilitates addiction would not surprise anyone by becoming addicted. But change something, say the right words, offer the right opportunity, and that person may surprise you.

 

And if you can be surprised, then that person has changed.

[Shyone]

Do you think people change?

 

 

I'm living proof that people can change. I used to be a conservative christian and I'm now a liberal atheist. Or, as I like to put it, "I was blind, but now I see".

 

Obviously if someone is capable of changing as drastically as I have (and this website is proof of that), then the saying that "people don't change" is foolish and ridiculous. I'm surprised that someone as seemingly intelligent as Hugh Laurie would say/believe such nonsense.

I think he may be stuck in a tautology. If people don't change, it's because people don't change. If they do change, it's because they were innately predisposed to change and the change is part of who they were originally, so people don't change.

 

By that reasoning, if you change, you didn't. If you didn't, you didn't. Either way there is no change. It becomes a statement that can't be refuted because it can't be falsified.

[SEEtheScorn]

Good point Shyone. Although I don't like thinking of myself as stubbornly set and convinced of my opinions. I'd like to think I could be convinced otherwise. But would that be a change? I don't know. I am a stubborn person after all.

 

Then again, I got broken from my stubborn conviction that I had a personal relationship with Jesus.

 

Then again, I did always have doubts that I ignored and pushed away with immersion in prayer and worship and other doctrinal practices.

 

I'm also coming from a Christianity that I last updated as a severely Calvinist pre-destination type of belief. I resolved my problem with omniscience by simply believing all our actions have been predistined. I think after that, I stopped caring. If God is, then he knows all, including everything I'm going to do. So why give a damn? That probably shapes my "people do not change" perspective in more ways that I think.

 

I guess it all depends on a person's personal perspective. Half full, or half empty? Do people change, or do they simply do what they were built to do/react?

[Shyone]

 

I guess it all depends on a person's personal perspective. Half full, or half empty? Do people change, or do they simply do what they were built to do/react?

Here's something to mull over.

 

If everything is predestined, nothing we do "matters" because we have no choice.

 

But change the way of thinking, and presto: Everything we do (or almost everything) matters! It matters if we hurt someone, it matters if we help someone, and it matters that we can control our destiny - do things and reap the rewards (or punishments).

 

So simply "thinking differently" makes a momentous change in what we do and why. I can't think of a better way.

 

There have been times when I thought I had reached the end of my rope. There was nothing I could do. My situation was hopeless. I contemplated suicide.

 

"Suicide is painless. It brings on many changes."

 

I chose otherwise. But I was a fraction of an inch away from death.

 

What we do matters, and we make decisions every day that change us. That is why everyone is unique.

[SEEtheScorn]

Of course. There's a difference between what I practice, and what I believe. I live like the glass is half full. I believe it's half empty.

 

I don't think it's at all healthy to live like no one can change. But, I still believe it's true.

 

Sometimes, I don't think truth is beneficial. God may not exist, but still people who do believe that he does seem to live better/healthier/happier lives. At least so the statistics say.