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What Type Of Apostate Are You?


Vomit Comet
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Well, I've been reviewing the academic literature on religious apostasy. There's a few gems out there but there's definitely room for more, especially when it comes to ex fundies/evangelicals. The above is derived from themes I've been coming across; I'm trying to refine things as I go, basically.

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Well,I attended church every Sabbath,read commentary of Tora and the Bible every day e.t.c. .

was on fire once, then started to fade, then one day...

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I don't ever step foot in churches anymore, with the sole exceptions being weddings or funerals. And this one church close to my school who makes free home-cooked meals every other Wednesday. But that's totally non-religious, it seems like a true community service thing on their part with no strings attached, and they're pretty cool people, really. Like it might as well be at the community center or something as it's not a religious gathering.

 

I am definitely the "dying star" type apostate you speak of. I was on fire for jeebus, and very active in my church. But then I kind of drifted away for a little while as questions without good answers (good religious answers, that is) just kept cropping up in my mind, and I liberalized for a while. I still loved jeebus, though, so when I finally lost my faith it was pretty sudden an traumatic.

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I was Pentecostal for awhile, later Presbyterian. During my Penty days I was much more "on fire for Jeebus", during my Presby days I mellowed out a bit; but I was a regular devout churchgoer the whole time.

 

The ball started rolling in my Penty days when I first encountered the whole thing about "it doesn't matter how loving someone is, if they didn't say the right magic words they'll be in Hell after they die" - someone said it about my dear sweet grandmother. It was a slow unravel from there.

 

Sometimes I forget that my apostasy and my atheism are not the same thing - I was a pagan before I was an atheist, after all. Up until now I've always told the story as if my deconversion from xianity ended when I became an atheist, but that's not really true - it ended when I became a pagan. So I guess deconvertion from xianity took about 3 years, maybe 4... it ended spectacularly after I got missionary dated by this guy who turned out to be a really slimy pathological fundie liar. After he finished with me I knew that if being a believer meant I had to be like him, I'd rather go to hell.

 

After that I wasn't afraid of hell anymore, and believing finally did become a choice, or at least more of a choice than it had been before. I ditched xianity and never looked back.

 

So I guess it was a "Dying Star" type thing.

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