chefranden Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Ya know, sometimes when I eats a couple of plates of chuck wagon beans I can almost smell Jesus. Signed, Not a Cowboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefranden Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Seems like if'n ya lack edumacation, ya end up poking the south end of a cow heading north... ... or is that the north end of a cow heading south? I kin never remember. Seems like it's a good thing for CowChristians that God made enough educated heathens to get the bible translated into cowboy and get it printed just in case cowboys accidentally learn how to read. Signed, Not a Cowboy (they aint no cowflops in my yard) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skeptic Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 I forgot to mention that brains are also zombie food. I wonder if zombie jesus eats brains...hmm... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 I forgot to mention that brains are also zombie food. I wonder if zombie jesus eats brains...hmm... That's right. And then they start having these weird sounds and incomprehensible expressions, like Uuuuugh, or Aaaargh. They do proclaim they have to die and be reborn (revitalized). It all fits! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodsmoke Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 BTW, i've never bridled a horse or milked a cow, so maybe that's why i've never seen Jesus. Well, there's your problem. Anyone can bridle a horse. Only a True Christian can briddle it. I can't help you with the milking cows, though. Even our latest True Christian can't seem to decide between that and milking Cows. Probably best to pray about it and wait for god to clear things up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Net Eng Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Jesus loves y'all and he wants to hugs and kisses all the kittens and feed the hungry squirrels in the park But if you don't bow down and kiss his ass you're gonna burn, burn, BURN!! P.S. Every time you have a lustful thought jeebus kills one of those kittens.... Paul said so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 no i am not trolling im here to teach you a few things so you athiests dont sound so stupid to christians who know the bible . You don't know anything more about the Christian bible than we already do. Try reading the debates here; YOU might learn a thing or two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Hmmmmm.....I thought xtians believed you were created in god's image? Oh I see. God can't spell, construct a sentence, or make any "sence" at all. That explains the buybull. No wonder you're so confused. You are a troll. And an idiot. Get medical attention. I am a idiot your the idiot when it comes to the bible . no i am not trolling im here to teach you a few things so you athiests dont sound so stupid to christians who know the bible . Not all members here are atheists. We "sound stupid" only to idiots like yourself. You're the stupidest of stupid on these forums at the moment. If you weren't so utterly stupid you might understand the meaning of exChristian. I, as well as many members here, know the Bible inside out. Many of us are trained in the ministry, in theology, in Christian education, and a host of other Christian training. Others have read extensively in church history, in how the bible was put together, and much, much more. Many used to preach, teach Sunday School, be missionaries. You name it, somebody probably did it. We concluded that religion is very like the stuff that comes out of the rear ends of horses and bulls. The crap you're posting is indistinguishable from said excretion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Has the troll found real brains too complex to contemplate? What's become of him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Dumbasses all of we.. God gave us brains to FEED ZOMBIES with! "BrRRrrRRRAAAAAIiiiIIIIIIIINS!" Sheeze.. kFL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 BTW, i've never bridled a horse or milked a cow, so maybe that's why i've never seen Jesus. You must have missed this post: I'm feeding a troll, but what the hell. God gave us brains that reason. If he can't handle a few of his "feeble" creations asking reasonable questions like "why should I believe that" and "what's your proof" then he's, at best, a fabrication, and at worst, some horrible supernatural maniac like that thing in Star Trek V. And for the record, I've milked cows and bridled horses and there was still enough brainpower left over to lose my faith and argue with a fucking troll on the Internet! Yay God! Same here. I bridled lots of horses and milked lots of cows and Jesus never turned up. Might be because he never milked cows or bridled horses. Only rich people like the Roman military had horses in his day. I would guess the same went for cows. The average family had to make do with donkeys, asses, and goats. But one thing Jesus was really good at was turning water into wine..... Guess what! Just now I did a search for dairy products--milk, butter, and cheese--in the Gospels and there were "no results" for all three. Christian drink of choice must be wine. Who'da thunk it?!?!?! Now I did a search of the entire NT and found a few references. Some are allegories but this one uses milk for food: 1 Cor. 9:7: Who goeth a warfare any time at his own charges? who planteth a vineyard, and eateth not of the fruit thereof? or who feedeth a flock, and eateth not of the milk of the flock? It seems wine is as important as milk but milk is in there, too. Since "flock" is used for sheep and not cattle, they must have used the milk of sheep or goats but at least it's milk and milk can be used in a large variety of forms and foods. Sorry, that's rather brainy stuff for this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skankboy Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Pretty sure the Babylonians were a cattle culture, wouldn't be surprising if the ancient Jews had some cow aversions as a result. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overcame Faith Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Please, Cowboy, do enlighten us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 He says that he's Lutheran. Ah, yes, the legalistic brand of Lutheranism, perhaps.. Wisconsin Synod? Luther would have dispised it as it embraces everything that he opposed. Okay, so Luther lived about 10 years too long, but the fact remains he was an highly educated scholar with revolutionary ideas that bucked against the mainstream political and social society of his time. Isn't that what we as Ex-Christians are doing, yet you condemn us? Child, you should condemn Luther as well and not be associated with a denomination that bears his name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 God gave brains to people so they could milk cows briddle horses and know ten dollars is more than one.but when the poor dumb creature God created try's to puff them selves up and use their feeble brains to Go against Gods word and what he has said . even the dumbest of us poor human critters see how absolutly brilliant The donkey critter becomes compared to puffed up human critter with a tadd more brain but a lot less sence.. That's 'sense' not 'sence.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Brains are good for a lot of things. But when you want to argue with Atheists and Pagans (broadest possible meaning on both terms) you do need to bring your Brain to the table. The original post is so awful, it would have made me cringe as a fellow Christian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 7, 2009 Super Moderator Share Posted May 7, 2009 The original post is so awful, it would have made me cringe as a fellow Christian. The most damage done to Christianity is done by the Bible itself, and Christians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest QuidEstCaritas? Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Hmmmmm.....I thought xtians believed you were created in god's image? Oh I see. God can't spell, construct a sentence, or make any "sence" at all. That explains the buybull. No wonder you're so confused. You are a troll. And an idiot. Get medical attention. Oh SMACK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 God gave brains to people so they could milk cows briddle horses and know ten dollars is more than one.but when the poor dumb creature God created try's to puff them selves up and use their feeble brains to Go against Gods word and what he has said . even the dumbest of us poor human critters see how absolutly brilliant The donkey critter becomes compared to puffed up human critter with a tadd more brain but a lot less sence.. That's 'sense' not 'sence.' Dontya know? His dumb four Jesus, so it dont need two sensce make! We two smart four his gospell, cause we ar two smart four understanning it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vendredie Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 I forgot to mention that brains are also zombie food. I wonder if zombie jesus eats brains...hmm... this n00b's brains aren't even fit for that. A zombie would see the brains, and run away. As fast as it could... which isn't very fast, admittedly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
today Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 It does say in the bible that, God will use the foolish things of the world to confound the wise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 It does say in the bible that, God will use the foolish things of the world to confound the wise. And this doesn't strike you as perhaps a cop out to cover up the fact that biblical claims are nonsensical? It's pretty convenient don't you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 It does say in the bible that, God will use the foolish things of the world to confound the wise. So, you're saying that everyone who expresses himself ignorantly has a chance a being the true voice of God? Then I would suggest your best bet in finding God would be to go a circus and see which clown makes the most sense. No wait, making sense is bad! Find the most foolish, the most idiotic one you can... then follow him for your salvation. That is what that verse means, isn't it? Or does it mean something other than what you're suggesting, which would be the above? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LilaMae Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 It does say in the bible that, God will use the foolish things of the world to confound the wise. That seems rather contradictory with the verse that says God is not the author of confusion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 It does say in the bible that, God will use the foolish things of the world to confound the wise. That seems rather contradictory with the verse that says God is not the author of confusion. And that the unbeliever is said to be a fool. So what is it? The God who is not the author of confusion, confuses the wise people, and call them fools, while he say that the believer should be ignorant as a child... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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