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The National Day Of Fail


quicksand
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"It may be that ministers really think that their prayers do good and it may be that frogs imagine that their croaking brings spring." Robert Green Ingersoll, "Which Way?" (1884)"

 

Yesterday was the National Day of Prayer. Every year, true believers – mostly Evangelical Christians gather to encourage "every individual the need for personal repentance and prayer" and to mobilize Christian community "to intercede for America and its leadership in the seven centers of power: Government, Military, Media, Business, Education, Church and Family."

 

In short, these Christians are praying to God to intercede in America's welfare. To set things right. To watch over us. They need this special day to pray to God for America, as if the many millions of American who pray at church each week have no qualitative difference in America's welfare at all. No, the National Day of Prayer is at least, one more desperate attempt to get god's attention.

 

But do these Christians make a difference with their prayers? As I read the headlines today, we find that murders, gun violence, deceit, unemployment, child abuse, as well as the continual problems of homelessness, starvation, and war afflict the United States without a noticeable pause. Surely, if man is created in His image and America is the favored nation above all of God's other nations, it is only incumbent on God to do something. Anything. As the NDP website instructs, that "love = prayer" so what is God doing with all this love? Saving it? Christians give and give and give and none of it is ever returned. It's like there is no God out there answering these prayers. Funny that.

 

The National Day of Prayer had exactly the same effect on the nation as last year:

 

Zippo.

 

 

 

 

(Cross posted from my blog)

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It's like there is no God out there answering these prayers. Funny that.

It's because Gawd is peeved that America doesn't punish Teh Ghey with stake-burning. First, Jeebus-based government must be restored, and then Gawd will fix America. Otherwise, Gawd will deliver America over to the EVIL GODLESS SECULARIST RADICAL LIBERALS, and we wouldn't want that to happen...

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Here's the prayer:

 

Dear God, you're merciful and all wise. Please let your will be done. You know everything, even things that I don't know, even though I believe I know a bunch of stuff. I want everyone in the world to think like me, and agree with me, so whenever I say my Church is the bestest and my pastor is the coolest, I want everyone to agree. And I want the Holy Spirit go down and slay everyone in all the other non-American, sorry, non-Christian countries, because they're so evil and want to kill everyone. I think they will learn not to kill other people, if you kill them first and send them to Hell for eternity. And dead God, I want the President to join our church, so everyone can see how glorious, righteous, and super awesome our church is, and it will impress everyone in all those other not-so-true-Christian churches in our neighborhood. They say they believe in Jesus and the Bible too, but I know better, because they don't preach over our special Bible verses we cherish so much. Dear God, we need a reform in school. We need evolution, sex-ed, and non-Christian teachings to be thrown out. Actually, please God, make all science subjects go away, and have them replaced by Bible Archeology studies and Bible classes. In the end God, I want your will to be done, as long as it is the same as mine. Amen.

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Here's the prayer:

 

Dear God, you're merciful and all wise. Please let your will be done. You know everything, even things that I don't know, even though I believe I know a bunch of stuff. I want everyone in the world to think like me, and agree with me, so whenever I say my Church is the bestest and my pastor is the coolest, I want everyone to agree. And I want the Holy Spirit go down and slay everyone in all the other non-American, sorry, non-Christian countries, because they're so evil and want to kill everyone. I think they will learn not to kill other people, if you kill them first and send them to Hell for eternity. And dead God, I want the President to join our church, so everyone can see how glorious, righteous, and super awesome our church is, and it will impress everyone in all those other not-so-true-Christian churches in our neighborhood. They say they believe in Jesus and the Bible too, but I know better, because they don't preach over our special Bible verses we cherish so much. Dear God, we need a reform in school. We need evolution, sex-ed, and non-Christian teachings to be thrown out. Actually, please God, make all science subjects go away, and have them replaced by Bible Archeology studies and Bible classes. In the end God, I want your will to be done, as long as it is the same as mine. Amen.

LOOOVE IT! (And I am going to repost it okey doeky?)

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Look what happened after all the Christians prayed that McCain would win...Obama wins by a landslide. Perhaps, they should be praying for America's downfall since God tends to go against what they pray for.

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I thought the prayer was more like "Dear God: We're having another big old xian public circle jerk and you're invited but not expected. Amen."

 

mwc

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I wish I'd found this thread sooner, because I had an interesting thing to suggest. Ah what the heck, I'll do it anyway.

For the next National Day of Prayer, or just when you see a christian praying and public, one way you could be somewhat annoying is to start audibly praying to a non-abrahamic god. Offer praise to Marduk, give accolades to Apollo, pray to Quetzacoatl!

 

Of course you know who I'll pray too.

 

Hail Great Sakura, Lord of the stars! Wonderful art thy works my master, with thy hands thou forgest the stars, thy great lights in the darkness of the void. Hail Great Sakura, for from thy handiwork is the stuff of all worlds formed. Oh Great Lord, let me walk in the light of thy ever present radiance. Guide me in thy ways O lord, that I might seek to enjoy the life thou hast granted me and aid my fellow creatures that they might also find delight in the world. O Great Lord, when my time comes, let me go unafraid to my end, for I know that from thee cometh all things, and to thee all shalt return. So too shall I, return to thy sizeless hand. So be it.

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The other day was also National Day Of Reason. http://friendlyatheist.com/2009/05/08/new-...ason-a-success/

Last time this happened, immediately afterwards, unbeknownst to everyone, the Council Chaplain gave a Christian prayer! Council Vice President, Arnie Fielkow (who is Jewish), later personally apologized to Harry.

 

Yesterday, when Harry had finished his secular invocation and the audience was standing and waiting for the Presentation of the Colors, a different Council Chaplain, Reverent Norwood Thompson, Jr. of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, went to the microphone and said that while we were waiting, we could bow our heads in prayer.

 

This time, to the credit of the Council President, Jacquelyn Clarkson, she interrupted the Reverend saying that as Mr. Greenberger had just given a secular invocation, a prayer would not be appropriate.

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I wish I'd found this thread sooner, because I had an interesting thing to suggest. Ah what the heck, I'll do it anyway.

For the next National Day of Prayer, or just when you see a christian praying and public, one way you could be somewhat annoying is to start audibly praying to a non-abrahamic god. Offer praise to Marduk, give accolades to Apollo, pray to Quetzacoatl!

 

Of course you know who I'll pray too.

 

Hail Great Sakura, Lord of the stars! Wonderful art thy works my master, with thy hands thou forgest the stars, thy great lights in the darkness of the void. Hail Great Sakura, for from thy handiwork is the stuff of all worlds formed. Oh Great Lord, let me walk in the light of thy ever present radiance. Guide me in thy ways O lord, that I might seek to enjoy the life thou hast granted me and aid my fellow creatures that they might also find delight in the world. O Great Lord, when my time comes, let me go unafraid to my end, for I know that from thee cometh all things, and to thee all shalt return. So too shall I, return to thy sizeless hand. So be it.

 

Hail Satan my Dark Lord and Master--the Adversary to all!

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