With Christians, There's No Way Around Their Sex Rules

[Vigile]

How can one know if they are sexually compatible if they haven't taken a few test drives and made a comparison of a few competitor's models?

 

If you stick to the human species, you can pretty much count on sexual compatibility. I hope you haven't gone any further than Adam in looking for a compatible mate, else PETA might have an issue with you.

Are you a virgin or something?

 

Either the dude is a virgin or he's one of the lucky few, very few who got lucky and the dice lined up in his favor on the first roll. Or, he is just seriously unaware of how much better things could be with another partner and is just blissfully naive.

[Vigile]

I'm beginning to wonder if our friend doob isn't that obnoxious teenager venomfangx that rants on youtube.

 

He's a lot of fun whoever he is.

[Creepy Doll]

If you stick to the human species, you can pretty much count on sexual compatibility. I hope you haven't gone any further than Adam in looking for a compatible mate, else PETA might have an issue with you.

 

I don't even know how to respond to this. The words "You don't have a fucking clue" come to mind. There are many variables when it comes to sexual compatibility. Seriously, you should actually gain some degree of experience on a topic if you're going to try to make like you're an expert on it.

[Ouroboros]

I'm beginning to wonder if our friend doob isn't that obnoxious teenager venomfangx that rants on youtube.

 

He's a lot of fun whoever he is.

Dude, you are so right! I can picture Venom sitting at the keyboard writing the Doobie posts.

[Thegodthatfailed]

[quote name='Doobie' date='Jun 4 2009, 04:47 PM' post='458417'

You don't get married just to have sex any more than you get a job just to make money. And, you sure don't say "money" when asked "Why do you want to work here?" during the job interview.

WTF! What a dumb-ass statement! I sure most people do get a job just to make money.

 

You think people go to their soul-crushing, slaving, place of employment just for fun.

 

Sorry, my Latin isn't gibberish. I was writing to educated readers.

 

I didn't deny that money is the big reason people get jobs. But, after the money there are reasons why you pick a particular job. It's in a field you're interested in. It's near where you live. Your buddy works there. You'll get prestige. You'll help people. It's a lot easier than something else.

 

On the contrary, I was affirming that sex is the big reason you get yourself a partner. But, you need not explain sex is the reason for getting married. Most people are smart enough not only to know you get a job primarily for money, they're also smart enough to know that next person knows this, as well.

 

Okay, well I don't know you so, I had know way of knowing that you didn't know that people

get a job primarily for money. I was working under the assumption that you are a closed-minded

Fundy, who doesn't know anything about how the real world works because of your willful ignorance.

I do realize that most people know that you really only get a job for money,basically. My point was

that from a Fundy's perspective is that you can't have sex outside of marriage without dire consequences,

so that if you are a young couple brought up in that line of thinking, it forces a lot of them to get married

to fulfill there urges whether they are ready for marriage or not, hence it really is the main reason for

them to get married in the first place. Know, I honestly didn't know it you knew this or not. Cannot

assume anything in this era of broken public education systems.

[Guest ephymeris]

Personally, I would never want to marry anyone I hadn't had sex with first. You learn a lot about a person just by getting to know their sexual side. I mean, if you are going to marry someone, to ignore their sexuality is a ridiculous mistake. Many christian sects insist you avoid kissing, making out, and DEFINATELY no heavy petting because of the dangerous possibility of being unable to resist the temptation of sex. So chosing to be with someone you're whole life without knowing them fulling seems like a recipe for one awesome christian divorce if you ask me. Those who don't divorce end up having happy kids like me who got to withness to a lifetime of parental fighting and resentment.

 

Also, as for this no sex before marriage thing, I don't think the bible actually forbids it. I just says "Thou shalt not commit adultery." I even searched for some no fornication clause but biblegateway.com came up empty. Last I heard adultery was defined as "voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband." So if you're not already married, is sex really a sin? Back when Moses was spreading the joy of those stone tablets and tromping around the desert for 40 years, how were people getting married? Do you think people were heading to the court house to sign a marriage license? There weren't any christian "preachers" around to carry out the ceremony. Wasn't marriage just a verbal agreement between two (or more if you were a guy with multiple wives!) with a customary dowry anyway? Marriage doesn't seem like it was the ridiculously holy ivory tower it is now. I think christians are just wheedling as much power and control as they can from these few verses.

 

My husband and I had sex on our first date approximately 15 years ago and we're still incredibly happy. If we hadn't had sex so early, I don't know if we would have made it. We went through some stupid teenage drama our first few years but it seems like it was for the best to get it all out of our system before stakes got too high. I think repressing teenagers sexually instead of arming them with knowledge and birthcontrol robs them of the ability to get to know themselves, what they want, and their partners.

[bird28]

I personally don't know where I stand on this issue. I was raised very, very moral, and I still have these morals ingrained in me so deeply that I can't let go of them very well. It's like a form of brainwashing and it's very hard to deprogram my brain. I do have a strong sexual desire however, and now a 26 year old virgin that wants to have the experience at least once! And since I have a mental illness, even if it's controlled by drugs well, I don't think anyone would ever want to marry me anyway, so it's not fair!

[Vixentrox]

I personally don't know where I stand on this issue. I was raised very, very moral, and I still have these morals ingrained in me so deeply that I can't let go of them very well. It's like a form of brainwashing and it's very hard to deprogram my brain. I do have a strong sexual desire however, and now a 26 year old virgin that wants to have the experience at least once! And since I have a mental illness, even if it's controlled by drugs well, I don't think anyone would ever want to marry me anyway, so it's not fair!

Welcome to the forums. Lot's of people have some sort of mental illness and still are able to find love and long term relationships particularily if it's controlable. Of course, I'm not advocating a wait till marriage attitude because that is just absurd thinking to me.

[Guest jlt1977]

Christians tend to marry earlier than non-Christians simply because of their need to satisfy their sexual desires. As a young Christian my fiance and I engaged in frequent oral and even anal sex because, well, it wasn't intercourse. Now the twists and turns of that absurd logic defy analysis and point out the crazy and convoluted thinking Christians engage in to justify the beliefs they hold that are clearly bullshit.

[Guest Marty]

Sex before marriage will not destroy the universe, but it does spread disease, creates baby problems, and causes emotional issues.

 

 

Sex within marriage causes all those things too, so what's your point?

[Guest Johnathan]

 

Condoms take some of the pleasure out of sex. And, in spite of their easy availaiblity, premaritial sex still causes a lot of problems.

 

Maybe religion (and in many cases, undeniably good judgement) does create some guilt for premarital sex. But, that's tiny compared to emotional stress created by such things as soap opera relationships and failed relationships. It's also tiny compared to the emotional callousness that eventually results from that stress.

 

 

Premarital sex still causes a lot of problems...? Like? Babies? I thought each baby was a blessing. Every sperm is sacred right?

 

Also, I'd rather have stress-filled soap-opera relationships with lots of sex then live in fear of your unsupported claims of the 'problems' premarital sex causes. Another tidbit- marital sex is exactly the same as premarital (only unmarried people have more fun), so how does a marriage certificate eradicate these so called 'problems' you mentioned?

[FiddlingAround]

Seriously, you advocate early marriage? Have you met any teenagers lately? I don't want to generalize, as I realize that many people who meet as teens are happy together for the rest of their lives, but I have three teenage cousins, and I hear about their friends, and these are the patterns I've seen in their social groups. First, they are in no way ready to get married. They just don't have enough emotional maturity to share their lives with another person, let alone raise children. And some of them would probably choose to have children soon after being married because it made them feel so grown-up. Second, they're madly in love for a few weeks or a few months, then it's on to the next one. Can you imagine if one of these relationships lasted long enough to result in a marriage? I'd so much rather they had sex with their little boyfriends, learned something from the relationship and moved on than committing their lives to a relationship that everyone around them knows never really had a chance. Because wouldn't you be the first to condemn them if they got a divorce?

 

Again, not trying to generalize, just speaking of the teenagers I happen to know.

[R. S. Martin]

What boggles my mind is the overt obsession with sex I see among conservative Christians. If they are not consciously engaging in some form of sex (matching up and celebrating marriage--or divorcing and bemoaning the tragedy thereof) they are consciously abstaining (engaging in sports or musicals or socials whose stated purpose is to divert the minds of young people off premature--in the minds of the church--sex or matching up. And keeping the married folk married and the single from enticing the married from their partners of the same sex.

 

When I look at mainstream society I see relaxed young people doing their thing. I know some of them are living together common law and most of them probably have their intimacies with trusted friends from school or elsewhere and that the older folks live likewise. It is common that people do not grow up in a two-parent home or that they live with step-parents and siblings, but there is no visible evidence that society is suffering as a consequence. When I was growing up in the sixties and divorce laws became more relaxed, all the adults were outraged and predicted the downfall of law and order as we knew it. In contrast, I think that society is better for it.

 

I am not hereby downplaying the pains of break-ups of whatever form. I am simply agreeing with the other person who said sex is not this magical supernatural thing religion makes it out to be. To be frankly open and honest, sex is intimately connected with the Christian religion. Religious ecstasy is sexual ecstasy. If you don't believe it, study medieval art, music, and architecture.

 

If "sin" equals the human inability to refrain from masturbation and sexual fantasy--not to mention intercourse, and if the need for salvation equals the need for a supernatural power to rescue the human from this sexual condition, then the role of Christ is firmly in place for time and eternity. Obviously, Christians still need to explain how Christ manages to fix anything and that is exactly what they have failed to do. And it is this failure that obligated me to deconvert. However, my point is that Christianity is overtly a sexual religion, let them deny it till they're blue in the face. They demonstrate it with their very lifestyle and thought structure day in and day out. For an asexual person like myself, I simply didn't get it till I was on these forums, but I had some seriously maladaptive ideas about how men and women should relate due to these stupid sex rules.

[FiddlingAround]

If "sin" equals the human inability to refrain from masturbation and sexual fantasy--not to mention intercourse, and if the need for salvation equals the need for a supernatural power to rescue the human from this sexual condition, then the role of Christ is firmly in place for time and eternity. Obviously, Christians still need to explain how Christ manages to fix anything and that is exactly what they have failed to do. And it is this failure that obligated me to deconvert. However, my point is that Christianity is overtly a sexual religion, let them deny it till they're blue in the face. They demonstrate it with their very lifestyle and thought structure day in and day out. For an asexual person like myself, I simply didn't get it till I was on these forums, but I had some seriously maladaptive ideas about how men and women should relate due to these stupid sex rules.

 

Speaking as a fellow asexual, I always found it very hard to understand why Christianity was always so obsessed with sex. Of course, I was equally confused in high school health class, so that may not mean much...

[R. S. Martin]

If "sin" equals the human inability to refrain from masturbation and sexual fantasy--not to mention intercourse, and if the need for salvation equals the need for a supernatural power to rescue the human from this sexual condition, then the role of Christ is firmly in place for time and eternity. Obviously, Christians still need to explain how Christ manages to fix anything and that is exactly what they have failed to do. And it is this failure that obligated me to deconvert. However, my point is that Christianity is overtly a sexual religion, let them deny it till they're blue in the face. They demonstrate it with their very lifestyle and thought structure day in and day out. For an asexual person like myself, I simply didn't get it till I was on these forums, but I had some seriously maladaptive ideas about how men and women should relate due to these stupid sex rules.

 

Speaking as a fellow asexual, I always found it very hard to understand why Christianity was always so obsessed with sex. Of course, I was equally confused in high school health class, so that may not mean much...

 

I absolutely and totally refused to believe that salvation was based on sex because I found the idea so utterly disgusting. But when Ameen posted on these forums about asexuality I got a better understanding on why seemingly happy old maids will marry the first widower who shows up on their doorstep. These were women who would have ordinarily been far below these men's social status but there was no one left on their level--the popular girls their age had all gotten married thirty years ago. This is in a community where marriage is for life.

 

One day when it happened yet again, I asked a group of single women friends all of whom I thought were happily single, "Does one have to get married?" After a stunned silence, one person said, "I suppose not if one does not feel that marriage is for oneself."

 

Though she was a competent and enterprising woman in her thirties and by no means an unpopular person in the community--there simply weren't enough men to go around, I could hear a well-controlled yearning in her voice that answered a deep question for me. These women felt a need or calling for marriage that I did not feel.

 

Oops, I thought the thread title was "Stupid Sex Rules," so I thought this post was on topic. Now I see it's not. Okay, I'll let others get back on topic.