Jump to content
Goodbye Jesus

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, D00dz


Vendredie

Recommended Posts

This subject has been beaten before, but lately it's been bothering me. I KNOW I am not a Christian, I know I am not even close to being one, that I can never go back anyway because I just can't believe in the mythology/theology/whatev.

 

On the other hand, I know I can't hate Christianity like many here do. I guess it's because I just haven't been hurt in the same ways, or as badly. I was raised in a barely-Christian family. My mother's easily the most religious person in the household, and she's FAR from fundy. I used to be the "fundy" that only parroted what the Republicans were saying in 2004. I turned more and more liberal as I grew up, but by 14 I just said "hell with it" since nothing in christianity added up anymore. That's it. I don't hate Xtians or feel sorry for them. I'm pissed off only because some choose to hate me simply becuase of my non-belief.

 

But I know I've been a lot more... militant? against Christianity. Not openly, but in my head. Especially in the middle of the night, when I wake up terrified after a nightmare about thunderstorms (as most of you know, I have a huge phobia of storms). The way I comfort myself is "The storm doens't exist. It's all in my head. god is not out to kill me. Fuck the Xtian god anyway". Given that the only times I believe in any sort of higher power are during thudnerstorms... it's actually comforting to know that lightning is not striking *thatclose* to my house because God just wants to fuck with me. I've actually re-converted during storms before. Now what I do whenever it storms is (try to) say "yeah, yeah, fuck you too."

 

But on the other hand, I've been trying *not* to lapse back into Christianity. I don't know what appeal it has now. I know it's not going to help me in a storm, which is part of why i want to go back so badly. It's not going to help me with any mental issues I have. Most of all, there's nothing in it. I don't *actually* believe. I just like that feeling I get when I pretend to.

 

So for the last few weeks, I've been waffling between hating Xtianity, and wanting to go back to it. Normally I happily coast somewhere in the middle, not hating it but not wanting to go back either. Something is wrong with me. :ugh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Super Moderator

I don't know about the word 'hate' but I am stridently opposed to the religion. It's not because of what it's done to me (I take full responsibility for my gullibility) but what I can see it's done to others. I see its effects in our politics and legal system. It's dangerous.

 

This subject of the desire to return to the fantasy does come up here, and I don't understand it, I admit. How can one go back to believing a lie once they know the truth and are able to think rationally? The attraction of the supernatural is there for most everyone, but wishful thinking doesn't make it true. As when we're watching a movie, we must suspend our disbelief in order to enjoy the fictional story as if it were really happening before our eyes. I just can't do that anymore now that I know better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think I am attracted to the supernatural rather than to Christianity. I have to admit, I have to have a religious-fix once in a while. I still read the bible, not in the same vein I used to. I find the bible more enjoyable if I do not read it in light of religious doctrines. Just read it for the sake of something to read. It is a good yarn and suitable for supernatural thrillers but after years of believing it and then not believing it, I do not find myself wanting to believe the contents again.

 

I compare what I read in the Nag Hammadi to similar texts in the bible and I have come a personal conclusion that the OT and NT may be the written works of Christianity, based on Jewish text of course, and I believe the texts in the Nag Hammadi may be the oral traditions of the early church written into text. Both Christianity (whether it knows it or not) and Judaism have some Kabbalah teachings. I'll let others look up the Kabbalah (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kabbalah).

 

I still study other religions to see what the attraction is. I think the attraction is having a sense of belonging to something, feeling important. This is why so many people join 'secret societies' in addition to joining a church or instead of joining a church. They also want to feel like they are getting all the information concerning spirituality. What is a problem about this is that many so-called 'secrets' were written years after the formation of Christianity and scripts were interpreted or written in light of the teachings of xtianity. I do not hold such writings favorably. When someone starts interpretations of good and evil based on what xtianity teaches, I doubt their validity, especially if they were written centuries after the formation of the church.

 

What all this boils down to is that I do not hate Christianity for being 'christian', I hate it for what it represents, that being control over the rest of the world. The underlying theme of christianity is that it is the chosen religion of god to dominate the world and the power is given to those who believe to be god-kings in the End Of Days. Who is to know when the end of days comes? Christians once ruled the earth in the Dark Ages resulting in disaster for personal freedoms and the pursuit of knowledge. What did not suit the doctrine of the church was forbidden to study. Parallels of Islam and Xtianity are very similar when you listen to the rhetoric of fascist fundamentals in both religions. There is no room for individual freedom! That is why Christianity bothers me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Praying during a time when you are at fear is not unusual; as a society, we are taught to pray when we feel vulnerable or in times of uncertainty. Prayer could help out someone mentally to survive and get through a situation (say, a tornado).

 

I love thunderstorms, but I might suggest for you to study what is all happening during the thunderstorm. Understanding what is going on atmospherically could help to put aside your fears.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Praying during a time when you are at fear is not unusual; as a society, we are taught to pray when we feel vulnerable or in times of uncertainty. Prayer could help out someone mentally to survive and get through a situation (say, a tornado).

 

I love thunderstorms, but I might suggest for you to study what is all happening during the thunderstorm. Understanding what is going on atmospherically could help to put aside your fears.

I have studied thunderstorms pretty intensely... really, it makes things worse, not better. Lightning safety REALLY didn't help. In this case, ignorance really is bliss.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi,

 

Your reaction is normal. A lot of people who have recently left religion feel that way for the first few months or so.

 

What may help is reading up on other religions and reading philosophy to get a feel for where you stand on things.

 

Good luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This subject of the desire to return to the fantasy does come up here, and I don't understand it, I admit. How can one go back to believing a lie once they know the truth and are able to think rationally? The attraction of the supernatural is there for most everyone, but wishful thinking doesn't make it true. As when we're watching a movie, we must suspend our disbelief in order to enjoy the fictional story as if it were really happening before our eyes. I just can't do that anymore now that I know better.

 

Basically true... as long as you can keep emotional distance and use only reason to come to a conclusion.

 

Consider the example of Ven stuck in one of those thunderstorms that send her into panic mode (more or less maybe). The thought of going religious (in whatever way) offers a way to gain control of the situation, control of the perceived threat, by allying with a force that can conquer and defeat the threat. Yes it's not reasonable, as Ven herself admits. But fear is a damn powerful motivation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And how would you expect to 'go back'?

 

Dear Lord, You probably don't exist and I've admitted that to myself many times but I'm scared and want you to Love me so I'll pretend I didn't know all that stuff before...

 

I mean, I would puke from the mental gymnastics it would take to believe again.

 

I don't mean to mock you...I'm just trying to say that you really can never go back, because you're different than you were before. You know it's fake, even though that upsets you because it really is a wonderful lie. But you know it's a lie, and you can only lie you yourself for so long. Why spend the energy? Accept the universe for the natural glory that it is, and accept that homo sapiens are nothing special, and have no special creator, so they created their own which always seemed to agree with whoever had the best weapons.

 

Don't be so afraid of death. We will all die. All men have died. It sucks, but that's the way life works. Without death their can be no evolution and we would not be here. Maybe our scientists will conquer it one day, but brains are complicated and many deteriorate before their bodies do.

 

Be afraid of wasting your life, and making decisions on poor information. Be afraid of living in hell to reach a nonexistent heaven.

 

So long as you're not running around with metal rods, don't fear a thunderstorm. I find them very entertaining, as they mess up otherwise pretty suburban yards.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.