I Was Too Nice This Morning

[fallenleaf]

I am rarely nice when people come to my door spreading their religion around. But this morning I was sitting on my couch playing poker when some teenaged girl walked up to the front door. I was clearly visible through the window so I answered. On a side note, I am glad I was wearing shorts and not naked like I am known to be. I didn't bother putting a shirt on -- which probably helped make her want to end this as quickly as possible.

 

I am also suffering -- suffering seems like the wrong word when I am enjoying it this much -- from the second sunburn I have ever had in my life. I tan faster than I burn usually unless I am really careless and end up spending a whole day in the Florida sun after keeping covered and indoors for months previously. I am past the pain and irritation part -- which wasn't much just a little tenderness when I showered. But now I am peeling. And that is probably the coolest fucking thing ever! {Needs therapy and knows it.} So there I am, shirtless and obviously trying very hard not to pull strips of skin off my shoulders. She did her very best to keep her eyes on my face and not my awesome peeling body.

 

Anyway, she said she was from XYZ church. I forget which it was. Some standard protestant church in the area but nothing insane or cool.

 

Me: "I'm an atheist."

Her: "So you wouldn't be interested in any information?"

Me: "Nope, not really. Have a nice day."

Her: {silent look of relief}

 

 

I was too nice. Usually I fuck with them a little more. But she didn't seem to want to press the issue... which made me want to just let her leave. Plus, I wanted to get back on the couch to continue playing poker and peeling my skin off my shoulders. We both won!

 

[florduh]

What an opportunity!

 

"Oh, I'm so glad you stopped by. Could you peel off that little piece of skin on my back? I can't quite reach it."

[fallenleaf]

I feel so lame. Right after I posted the original thread... I thought of how much better the conversation could have been.

 

I could have peeled a large chunk of skin off and after she gave her speech said, "Take this, it is my body, and eat of it."

 

 

That would have been fucking awesome. And it is a chance I might never have again because I might never have another time when I peel like this... let alone a time when I am peeling and have christians at my door.

 

I'm so lame.

[noob]

I feel so lame. Right after I posted the original thread... I thought of how much better the conversation could have been.

 

I could have peeled a large chunk of skin off and after she gave her speech said, "Take this, it is my body, and eat of it."

 

That would have been fucking awesome. And it is a chance I might never have again because I might never have another time when I peel like this... let alone a time when I am peeling and have christians at my door.

 

I'm so lame.

 

This makes me want to go right out and get a wicked sunburn! Can't you just picture the look of horror???

[Dagan]

I feel so lame. Right after I posted the original thread... I thought of how much better the conversation could have been.

 

I could have peeled a large chunk of skin off and after she gave her speech said, "Take this, it is my body, and eat of it."

 

I missed an opportunity this weekend too. I was mowing the back lawn when the JWs came to the door again handing out their "ARE YOU PREPARED FOR TEH END OF TEH WORLD!!???1" shit. I saw them and just ignored them. But if they had come when I had been mowing the front lawn, I would have shut down the mower, taken the flyer saying, "thanks, this bullshit makes great compost for my garden," crumpled it, tossed it on the lawn and then started up the lawnmower, running it over.

 

Of course, I'm only that cool and witty in my dreams.

[MaggieMae]

I feel so lame. Right after I posted the original thread... I thought of how much better the conversation could have been.

 

I could have peeled a large chunk of skin off and after she gave her speech said, "Take this, it is my body, and eat of it."

 

 

That would have been fucking awesome. And it is a chance I might never have again because I might never have another time when I peel like this... let alone a time when I am peeling and have christians at my door.

 

I'm so lame.

 

 

 

 

Omg, I just made the weirdest noises trying not to burst out in hysterical laughter! Unfortunately this is a very very quiet library, and a librarian just came over to see what all the squeaks and gurgles were about....

 

That post is too funny! An opportunity missed in reality, but you can always retell the story this way to your friends!