Why Do People Leave Church/religion?

[jason197754]

Hello again. I was thinking that most people deconvert for/becasue of knowledge issues=they read other books and/or go to college and think for themselves. Or, maybe it's a heart issue-I mean I see too much hypocrisy and double standards in churches/religion and too much legalism/rules/laws/etc etc etc and that's one of the main reasons why I'm in the process of deconversion right now.

 

And the other reason is the whole-just have FAITH issue, meaning that all I have to do is have faith in God/trust God and that's it and then God will make me blessed rich and healthy and all of that. It dosen't work though and I think they say that just to get your money!!!!! I think it's all b.s. and it's BLIND faith!!!! And if that's all someone believes is just have faith, that won't hold or stick or tread water for very long. That's why a lot of men leave church/religion soon after/when they grow up/turn 18, etc etc etc. becasue most of us men think rationally/we think for ourselves.

 

So let me know what you all think about these things.

 

Jason

[Legion]

Jason I believe if you read through the testimonies forum you’ll see the many reasons why the men and women here left Christianity. I do think you’re mostly correct, in that it’s because we think for ourselves. In addition I suspect that we also feel for ourselves. And it is my sincere hope that everyone here will never again be satisfied to be told by another person how they should think or feel.

[HRDWarrior]

I think this is a loaded question that we cannot simply put one or two things to. I know for myself, it is a combination of many things (many of which were similar to what you mentioned - except I'm a woman and think logically). Yes, modern churches appeal to women's emotions, but I think if they weren't so touchy feely fewer men would leave which is why I think you see more women in church than men, not because men think more logically (sorry, couldn't leave that one alone! )

 

For myself, never having any of those "special moments," a lack of growth, the inability of christians to reason outside of their precious book, the hypocrisy, the man made traditions, and their inate ability to pick and choose their truthes from their precious book - all of it added together along with my own reasoning, increased knowledge base, and seeing the similarities between the majority of the world religions along with a few things I can't put my finger on all led me to abandon a faith I forced on myself for nearly 29 years (okay, a little less because I was "saved" -insert eye role- when I was 8).

[Legion]

I'm a woman and think logically). (sorry, couldn't leave that one alone! )

I anticipated someone would say something along these lines.

 

Welcome HRDWarrior

[Deva]

And it is my sincere hope that everyone here will never again be satisfied to be told by another person how they should think or feel.

 

Being raised in fundamentalism I can say this was and still is a major issue for me. My family assumes everyone should think and feel the same way, in a cookie cutter mold type of way.

 

I was baptized at 12 and started having major doubts at 13. However, I wanted my parent's approval so I continued to try to believe the stuff for many years. I could never quite succeed. All the contradictions in the Bible and with science just nearly drove me crazy.

[Legion]

From experience I understand Deva. I believe that one of the major problems with many religions is that in their near single minded emphasis on deflating the ego they also break down many appropriate boundaries.

[par4dcourse]

I went on the fundy version of rumspringa and never came back.

[ShallowByThyGame]

I think there are different steps and levels, or degrees.

 

I'll postulate roughly here about types of believers and what may drive them out of the church, or move them down the 'stepladder'

 

1. Blind faith believer. One who just believes because. This believer needs to accept that evidence should be required for actions, including beliefs.

 

2. Emotional believer. This believer takes feelings as evidence of her faith, whether good feelings or fear of hellfire. Needs to understand that her feelings are a physiological response, and personal experience is not a valid form of evidence in critical thinking. Other faiths feel the same way etc.

 

3. Scriptural believer. This believer believes the Holy Book to be full of wisdom and morality, and takes what it says, or what the preacher says it says as true. The book proves the rest of it. He or she needs to learn about the many contradictions and the actual history of the book.

 

4. Logical believer. This believer sees the world as too complex for anything but God...they see false correlations everywhere to prove that God is watching over them. This believer needs to study the Epicurean arguments about good and evil and the nature of God, and how God is defined. Understanding probability also helps.

 

5. Uneducated believer. This believer has not thought much about his faith, assuming truth because of the social normality of where he or she lives. Nonbelievers are dumb heathens who would convert if taught correctly. This believer needs to see the world and realize how small his knowledge-set is.

 

6. Social believer. This believer doesn't really believe strongly, but feels in tune with the people in the church. They are more interested in feeding the poor than enforcing morality. They need to realize that the church is not needed for them or others to be good people, and in fact the church often hurts people.

 

Did I miss anything that can't be fit into the above? Is my ordering sensible in terms of hardest to deconvert? Is this list interesting or rubbish?

[Guest Davka]

Did I miss anything that can't be fit into the above? Is my ordering sensible in terms of hardest to deconvert? Is this list interesting or rubbish?

 

I like this list. It's a helpful model. I would add that most believers fit into more than one of these categories, and that the path to unfaith is therefore complicated, and different for everyone.

 

I would categorize myself as having been a combination of a Blind Faith believer, an Emotional believer, a Scriptural believer and a Logical believer. Interestingly, these beliefs deteriorated in exactly that (reverse) order, jettisoning the anti-evolution arguments early on, followed by redefining the Bible as semi-inspired rather than inerrant, having my emotions re-wired by Zoloft, and finally dropping faith altogether.

 

So at least as far as my own experience goes, I'd say your list is very accurate. Perhaps it should even be enshrined alongside Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: Shallow's Hierarchy of Faith.

 

Kudos!