Centauro Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 Sometimes I just get worn out.. WARNING: RANT MODE ON... For the past 18 years I have been dealing with a born again spouse. The first 16 years was an unbelievable struggle. In fact, I am amazed my marriage survived it. We have been married for 30 years, and dated 3 years prior. I have stopped debating or correcting any misconceptions my wife has regarding history, religion and biblical accuracy, etc. Psychologically and emotionally she cannot tolerate any "attack" on her world view. It is too stressful. I am inclined to believe that her faith is that thin that she would have a meltdown if she lost her belief system. That said, I am constantly guarded when she makes some moronic comment, about gods will, yada yada yada. Three days ago, I made a innocent comment about a TV evangelist, (Van Imp?...I can't remember his name, he and his wife were talking about the end times at the time). I said, something about the apocalyse and we better get ready, as this preacher may be right this time. I guess that set her off, as I was emotionally "iced out" for the next 3 days. WTF!! She never mentioned why she was distant and curt, but I knew. I am getting so f-ing tired of this shit. I can't even voice an innocent opinion about some idiot TV evangelical!! When will this shit end!!?? Some days I feel like screaming...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!! IS YOUR PSYCHE SO F-ING FRAGILE THAT ONE COMMENT SENDS YOU INTO AN EMOTIONAL FUNK? I am so tired of this shit. RANT MODE OFF... Thanks for letting me vent... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Broke Free Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!! IS YOUR PSYCHE SO F-ING FRAGILE THAT ONE COMMENT SENDS YOU INTO AN EMOTIONAL FUNK? In a word: "yes" Faith is a very fragile house of cards that requires the efforts of not only the holder of that faith but everyone else in the immediate vicinity to keep from collapsing under its own weight. If you want your relationship with your wife to be as happy as possible, it is you and only you that will be required to hold your tongue. You have loved your wife for thirty years; there must be sacrifices that she makes for you. Focus on those things and remember how important she is to you when you get the urge to comment on something you know she is sensitive about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skeptic Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 Three days ago, I made a innocent comment about a TV evangelist, (Van Imp?...I can't remember his name, he and his wife were talking about the end times at the time). I said, something about the apocalyse and we better get ready, as this preacher may be right this time. I guess that set her off, as I was emotionally "iced out" for the next 3 days. WTF!! She never mentioned why she was distant and curt, but I knew. The guy you're referring to is Jack Van Impe. My parents would watch his show occasionally while I was still living there and I assume that they still do. That guy is off his fucking rocker, I'll tell you what. I don't know what his deal is, but he's not playing with a full deck of cards. They kept trying to convince me that this guy was the shit and he was this great prophet or something, but he's a joker. It's very hard to convince people who buy into this stuff that the people who are saying these things just want their money. In fact, it's damn near impossible, and yes, it is very exhausting to have to deal with people when they're like this. My parents believe in the end times and that the apocalypse is right around the corner. Luckily, I don't talk to them anymore, but since this is your spouse, it's quite a bit different. I guess you could use the bible against the evangelical preachers on TV and try to remind her that it says in the bible that no one knows the day or hour when Jesus will return except god, and that god probably wouldn't reveal such information to some guy on TV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 Three days ago, I made a innocent comment about a TV evangelist, (Van Imp?...I can't remember his name, he and his wife were talking about the end times at the time). I said, something about the apocalyse and we better get ready, as this preacher may be right this time. I guess that set her off, as I was emotionally "iced out" for the next 3 days. WTF!! She never mentioned why she was distant and curt, but I knew. The guy you're referring to is Jack Van Impe. My parents would watch his show occasionally while I was still living there and I assume that they still do. That guy is off his fucking rocker, I'll tell you what. I don't know what his deal is, but he's not playing with a full deck of cards. My parents used to watch his show occasionally too. I was Christian at the time, but even then thought that Jack was a bit extreme. And his wife (back then, don't know if she's still in the picture or not), oh god, what a ditz! If Jack isn't playing with a full deck of cards, then I have to wonder if his wife even has a single card to play with. Anyway, I haven't seen this show in probably some 14 years or so, so I haven't watched it in my current agnostic state. If my recollection serves me correctly, though, my current assessment would probably be that Jack is actually fairly intelligent in the way he knows how to force current events into a biblical interpretation that he can dupe his audience with. He probably doesn't really believe all that shit, he just knows how to sell it to the religious masses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Centauro Posted June 28, 2009 Author Share Posted June 28, 2009 Feeling a bit better today.......not sure why, but will enjoy it while it lasts. Sometimes it gets frustrating when her church stuff takes up so much of her time. For the last 18 years I have worked more than full time, managed our home and finances and provided a very good lifestyle/retirement. I blame her fundamentalism for convincing her to give up a good career, because "wives are suppose to be at home". I believe she used that excuse to participate in numerous bible studies, choirs, and church activities, leaving me to "provide" when I want to slow down a bit. It is frustrating..but I am doing better today..thanks for letting me rant.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Feeling a bit better today.......not sure why, but will enjoy it while it lasts. Sometimes it gets frustrating when her church stuff takes up so much of her time. For the last 18 years I have worked more than full time, managed our home and finances and provided a very good lifestyle/retirement. I blame her fundamentalism for convincing her to give up a good career, because "wives are suppose to be at home". I believe she used that excuse to participate in numerous bible studies, choirs, and church activities, leaving me to "provide" when I want to slow down a bit. It is frustrating..but I am doing better today..thanks for letting me rant.. It's good to hear that you're doing better. I can understand your concern about your wife not being willing to take a job. I was still a Christian when we had our two daughters, and I was fine with my wife staying home with the children for a while. After all, after taking the price of daycare out of what my wife could earn, she wouldn't have been netting enough to justify working anyway. I worked some overtime and occasionally a second job to provide for the family, and I didn't mind it at the time. However, when I agreed for her to stay home when the kids were little, SHE agreed to go BACK to work once they were both in school. Now our youngest just finished her second year of school, but my wife still hasn't taken a job. For a while I was getting quite a bit of overtime, and she was babysitting a fair amount, so we were doing fine. But now I haven't been getting much overtime over the past year and she's babysitting much less, so over the course of time I've hinted about her taking a job, but it doesn't seem to sink in. She just wants to stay home and make peanuts babysitting a day or two a week while I provide and worry about taking out of savings. And what really pisses me off is that she's not babysitting most days, and yet she still can't even bother to clean the house! I've got allergies and can't stand all the dust, but if she's going to stay home while I work full time, then I shouldn't be the one to have to clean and dust the house. If she would be willing to take a job, then I'd be fine with doing some cleaning around the house. As it is, she wants to read her religious books and chat on facebook while I work my ass off. Hopefully when the kiddos go back to school in the fall she'll see the light and take a job. In all honesty, though, I wouldn't bet on it. Hell, she's even talking about homeschooling the kids, which scares the hell out of me. They already get enough superstitious brainwashing without her trying to be their school teacher. And she damn sure wouldn't be taking a job if she starts homeschooling, yet I'll have to provide the funds for paying for the textbooks and stuff while also paying property taxes to the local school district. AUGH!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finally_done Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Sometimes I just get worn out.. I hear you. Boy, do I hear you! It's hard. I'm amazed that you've managed to stick with it all these years. I hope the trade-off has been a good one for you. I'm debating that whole issue myself right now, but I won't go on about that as I just started a new thread about living with a fundamentalist spouse and spilled my guts there. ;-) But you definitely have my sympathy and respect. Jane -- finally_done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Good luck to you. Sounds like there must be something else that keeps you together. Try to focus on that. Minor threadjack: I've gotten so I actually stop on the televangelists every now and then. When I was an xian, I would never do that. Now, I find so much comedy in it that I spend a few minutes of laughter at those bozos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefranden Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 I thought fundamentalist wives were to submit to their husbands. ... I'll drink to that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts