God Can Suck My %#@*

[Vigile]

Highly offensive, highly humorous. Understand that these guys write with a tongue in cheek style and that they go to extremes to make an obvious point. Don't take everything too seriously.

 

 

http://www.exile.ru/2001-November-01/feature_story.html

 

Exerpt: Despite what you may think, God people are not just incredibly stupid. They're dangerous. They make possible every kind of human idiocy. Why? Not just because they tend to be zealots who try to force their point of view on other people (indeed, most religions consider non-believers lost or damned); not just because they do things like level the World Trade Center or strap dynamite to themselves and walk into abortion clinics to kill teenage girls they don't even know. No, the big problem with God people is that they make patent absurdities a central fact in the lives of entire populations, so that if anyone by chance wants to live a reasonable life, he has to do so in private, apologetically, like a man walking half bent-over through a crowded subway car because he has an erection in his pants.

[Checkmate]

Another excerpt from that article:

I'm certain: every last person who believes in God should be swept off the streets, captured with big nets, thrown into maximum-security institutions, and forced to knit oven mitts and play Lite-Brite with each other until their deaths.

Or at least until successfully deprogrammed of the religous meme.

 

And I simply LOVE his #1 thing to do to depress Xians - "Don't Celebrate X-mas!"

 

Already ahead of you, bro!

 

No matter what you may think of this brand of "comedy" or commentary, you must agree with one thing he points out: We are WAY TOO tolerant of religious beliefs. We make excuses for them. We even allow them the delusion that we DON'T think they are looney. That their religious beliefs are OK for a sane person to hold. When in reality what we TRULY are thinking is, "Fuck dude, you are REALLY nuts for believing this shit!"

 

And THAT is why religion has lasted so long and will continue to last. Because we who don't believe won't be honest and open with our disgust. Many of us are actually APOLOGETIC for NOT believing! As if it is WE who should be ashamed of OUR unbelief.

 

NOT being truthful about our disgust with religious beliefs, is like being given a food dish that we DESPISE, and yet, to BE NICE, we say that we liked it. Next thing you know, the person who gave it to us keeps making more of the dreck because we SAID we liked it!

 

I say, "be honest". How else will they know that what they believe is stupid unless someone tells them?

[MQTA]

Another excerpt from that article:

I'm certain: every last person who believes in God should be swept off the streets, captured with big nets, thrown into maximum-security institutions, and forced to knit oven mitts and play Lite-Brite with each other until their deaths.

Or at least until successfully deprogrammed of the religous meme.

 

And I simply LOVE his #1 thing to do to depress Xians - "Don't Celebrate X-mas!"

 

Already ahead of you, bro!

 

No matter what you may think of this brand of "comedy" or commentary, you must agree with one thing he points out: We are WAY TOO tolerant of religious beliefs. We make excuses for them. We even allow them the delusion that we DON'T think they are looney. That their religious beliefs are OK for a sane person to hold. When in reality what we TRULY are thinking is, "Fuck dude, you are REALLY nuts for believing this shit!"

 

 

WOW! BINGO! I THINK YOU'RE ON TO SOMETHING! You're right. I find I walk on egg shells and sometimes feel like I'm talking to "special" people... but that's an insult to truly special people.

 

I see even the nastiest on CF walks on egg shells, beats around the bush, tries to only HINT at what others are seeing. But most of the comments, straight or indirect go totally Woooooooooshhhhhhhh over their heads, anyway.

 

 

And THAT is why religion has lasted so long and will continue to last.  Because we who don't believe won't be honest and open with our disgust.  Many of us are actually APOLOGETIC for NOT believing!  As if it is WE who should be ashamed of OUR unbelief.

 

They have all bases covered, no matter how you handle it, they have an answer for everything. There is no Discussion. There's you saying what you see, and them parroting the same bumper sticker stayins. If you ask a question, you get back the same thing usually, as if repeating it makes it more valid.

 

NOT being truthful about our disgust with religious beliefs, is like being given a food dish that we DESPISE, and yet, to BE NICE, we say that we liked it.  Next thing you know, the person who gave it to us keeps making more of the dreck because we SAID we liked it!

 

I say, "be honest".  How else will they know that what they believe is stupid unless someone tells them?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

How do you be honest without it giving fuel to their ire and fire?

[I Broke Free]

I think this thread is misplaced. It belongs in the Debate Forum. The topic is truly worthy of serious discussion. While the author may have made many of his comments with his tongue firmly in his cheek, the core message is quit serious.

 

There is this belief among fundies that if they succumb to secularism then somehow we non-believers are the winners. What these fundies don’t understand is that secularism is neutral and that we are offering a compromise with secularism, not their defeat.

 

If I as a non-believer were to force my beliefs on the population the way fundies do, then children would not be allowed to hear of god until they were adults and could understand the implications, church income and property would be taxed, and open ridicule of religious beliefs would be common place in the media.

 

We have been silent too long. It is time that we non-believers get off our collective asses, stand up and call them “stupid dolts” right to their face.

[♦ nivek ♦]

Moved to Debates, good topic for here.

 

kL

[ExRC]

No, the big problem with God people is that they make patent absurdities a central fact in the lives of entire populations, so that if anyone by chance wants to live a reasonable life, he has to do so in private, apologetically, like a man walking half bent-over through a crowded subway car because he has an erection in his pants.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Both hilarious and true at the same time...LOL!

[Checkmate]

How do you be honest without it giving fuel to their ire and fire?

 

That's just the point. We MUST stop giving a fuck about offending them! It's not OUR fault that they are gullible. "Don't shoot the messenger", "The truth hurts" and all that stuff.

 

Most of us are guilty of the sin of silence because we're afraid of the wrath of our religious family members. This situation is BULLSHIT. The inmates are running the asylum!

 

We have been silent too long. It is time that we non-believers get off our collective asses, stand up and call them “stupid dolts” right to their face.

 

Amen, brother! Preach it! Testify! (Sorry. Old habits die hard.)

 

I will now await the inevitable corrective responses from the "But we should be nice to the NICE Xians" wing of the Ex-C forum.

[Vixentrox]

Of course, the Xtians could always go back to burnings at the stake and stuff if they get the thocracy they want. Might be to late by then.

[MQTA]

That's just the point. We MUST stop giving a fuck about offending them! It's not OUR fault that they are gullible. "Don't shoot the messenger", "The truth hurts" and all that stuff.

 

Most of us are guilty of the sin of silence because we're afraid of the wrath of our religious family members. This situation is BULLSHIT. The inmates are running the asylum!

 

http://www.christianforums.com/t1990677-an...on.html&page=23

 

Post 224...

 

less egg-shell walking?

 

A foundation of Adam, Eve, Noah and Jesus is hard to communicate with. There's no real common ground.

[dogmatically_challenged]

2) Engage in pointlessly heated arguments with elderly Believers who are set in thier beliefs

I just can't do something like this. Yea, even I wouldn't have the heart to mess with old people.

 

(6) Become a Jesus Freak.

When I read this I almost pissed myself! Haha!

 

(7) Seduce Religious Women.

I could not do this. It sounds funny and all, but really this is out of the question for me.

 

3) Convert the faithful.

(4) Inform small children that there is no God.

I all ready do 3 and 4.

 

My girlfriend and aunt won't let me get away with not celebrating xmas even though I'm a jerk about not calling it xmas.

 

Every xmas I remember to tell folks that pagans were totaly ripped off by xians in the dec 25th winter solstice holiday. I don't expect to see any more baby jesus decorations and figurines at my house or at the house of anyone dumb enough to ask me over for a short visit on xmas because of that, unless they are glutons for punishment from me. Hehe.

 

BTW pagan holdays are a blast especially winter solstice!

[I Broke Free]

Quotes from the link provided on the first post:

 

After 9/11, I'm certain: every last person who believes in God should be swept off the streets, captured with big nets, thrown into maximum-security institutions, and forced to knit oven mitts and play Lite-Brite with each other until their deaths.

 

I liked this guy from the very first paragraph.

 

the big problem with God people is that they make patent absurdities a central fact in the lives of entire populations, so that if anyone by chance wants to live a reasonable life, he has to do so in private,apologetically, like a man walking half bent-over through a crowded subway car because he has an erection in his pants.

 

He’s right! Why do we put up with it? Fundy family members tell us we are going to hell, and we look for ways to appease them. Why? Don’t we have the same right to our opinions? Shouldn’t we tell them how we think they are deluded fools (that is much less offensive then telling me I am worthy of eternal torture) but we will continue to love them anyway. We should be telling them how sorry we are for them, not the other way around.

 

I close my eyes and try to imagine myself, the same person I am now, living in Egypt under the Pharaohs in 600 B.C. All around me people are sacrificing animals and chanting and burying their dead cats in sacred receptacles, and I'm keeping my mouth shut, taking long walks along the Nile, volunteering to do the dishes rather than linger in on an after-dinner discussion... Basically life isn't all that much different today.

 

So true.

[dogmatically_challenged]

JP

He’s right! Why do we put up with it? Fundy family members tell us we are going to hell, and we look for ways to appease them. Why? Don’t we have the same right to our opinions? Shouldn’t we tell them how we think they are deluded fools (that is much less offensive then telling me I am worthy of eternal torture) but we will continue to love them anyway. We should be telling them how sorry we are for them, not the other way around.

We do have the right...at a cost. In most family situations I am such an insufferable little bastard that I excercise that right.

 

(After any fight it usually ends in making up. It is true that chicks can't resist atheists. )

[Brutal Brian]

(7) Seduce Religious Women.

I found that whole passage rather amusing although I would never do it myself.

 

But the phrase "Showing her how much God really loves her!" came into my mind.

[Amethyst]

We have been silent too long. It is time that we non-believers get off our collective asses, stand up and call them “stupid dolts” right to their face. 

 

Unfortunately, if you do this at work, it is a good way to get yourself fired. I hate the uberPCness of our society, but I also need to pay my rent so I don't have to move back in with my parents.

[dogmatically_challenged]

Unfortunately, if you do this at work, it is a good way to get yourself fired.  I hate the uberPCness of our society, but I also need to pay my rent so I don't have to move back in with my parents.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Very sensible. Work should be were we work and nothing else. Thats my opinion.

[Checkmate]

He’s right! Why do we put up with it? Fundy family members tell us we are going to hell, and we look for ways to appease them. Why? Don’t we have the same right to our opinions? Shouldn’t we tell them how we think they are deluded fools (that is much less offensive then telling me I am worthy of eternal torture) but we will continue to love them anyway. We should be telling them how sorry we are for them, not the other way around.

A-hem. Christians call US "fools" everyday!

 

Psalm 14:1 "The FOOL says in his heart, 'There is no God'"

 

They look down their collective noses upon US as if we are diseased and deceived "fools" for not believing in their fantasy. AND they have NO PROBLEM boldly telling us to our faces! How many times have we read about people on THIS very forum who have family members shun them, deny them liberty, and smash their property?

 

Spouses and children being strong-armed into playing church games. And why? Because the Christian™ considers them "fools" for not believing.

 

Insults and threats. That's all we get from these knotheads. And WE'RE supposed to tread lightly and be nice, for fear of upsetting them?!?

 

Excuse me...but aren't THEY supposed to be the ones who are "born again" with the "power of God"? "Turning the other cheek" and "Forgiving up until 70 times 7"?

 

Why is it the UN-believers responsibility to follow Romans 12:18 where it says, "If it is possible, as much as depends on YOU, live peaceably with all men"? Shouldn't it be THEY who must "tread lightly" around US? "Not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing", thus sayeth the Apostle Peter in 1 Peter 3:9.

 

I could go on and on with the MANY injunctions to believers to have self-control and kindness towards all, but you get my gist.

 

If a little truth-telling is enough to piss them off and anger them towards you, then RIGHT THERE you have all the ground necessary to inform them that THEY ARE NO CHRISTIAN THEMSELVES! Call them names. Slap them on the cheek. Ask them to give you an assload of money, expecting NOTHING in return. If they fail these simple tests, then you have earned the right to label them hypocrites as well as FOOLS!

[dogmatically_challenged]

He’s right! Why do we put up with it? Fundy family members tell us we are going to hell, and we look for ways to appease them. Why? Don’t we have the same right to our opinions? Shouldn’t we tell them how we think they are deluded fools (that is much less offensive then telling me I am worthy of eternal torture) but we will continue to love them anyway. We should be telling them how sorry we are for them, not the other way around.

A-hem. Christians call US "fools" everyday!

 

Psalm 14:1 "The FOOL says in his heart, 'There is no God'"

 

They look down their collective noses upon US as if we are diseased and deceived "fools" for not believing in their fantasy. AND they have NO PROBLEM boldly telling us to our faces! How many times have we read about people on THIS very forum who have family members shun them, deny them liberty, and smash their property?

 

Spouses and children being strong-armed into playing church games. And why? Because the Christian considers them "fools" for not believing.

 

Insults and threats. That's all we get from these knotheads. And WE'RE supposed to tread lightly and be nice, for fear of upsetting them?!?

 

Excuse me...but aren't THEY supposed to be the ones who are "born again" with the "power of God"? "Turning the other cheek" and "Forgiving up until 70 times 7"?

 

Why is it the UN-believers responsibility to follow Romans 12:18 where it says, "If it is possible, as much as depends on YOU, live peaceably with all men"? Shouldn't it be THEY who must "tread lightly" around US? "Not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing", thus sayeth the Apostle Peter in 1 Peter 3:9.

 

I could go on and on with the MANY injunctions to believers to have self-control and kindness towards all, but you get my gist.

 

If a little truth-telling is enough to piss them off and anger them towards you, then RIGHT THERE you have all the ground necessary to inform them that THEY ARE NO CHRISTIAN THEMSELVES! Call them names. Slap them on the cheek. Ask them to give you an assload of money, expecting NOTHING in return. If they fail these simple tests, then you have earned the right to label them hypocrites as well as FOOLS!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

They have scripture to back thier attitudes towards us. Even if they were nicey nicey in how misguided we are and in thier bringing people to christ, it is still passive agressive bigoted behavior and I will not tolerate it. I really think we can blame the bible just as much as personalities.

[I Broke Free]

We do have the right...at a cost.

 

 

That's just it; we allow them to treat us like "hell bound sinners" with no cost to them at all.

 

We don't have to be assholes about our opinions. If we just allowed ourselves to express how sad we are about their plight, then at least we would not be giving them the upper hand.

[dogmatically_challenged]

That's just it; we allow them to treat us like "hell bound sinners" with no cost to them at all.

 

We don't have to be assholes about our opinions. If we just allowed ourselves to express how sad we are about their plight, then at least we would not be giving them the upper hand. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You will find the best way to deal with this problem that will work for you and yours. You know whats best. I think you should trust your own judgment.

 

I all ready tried the soft touch, it don't work on my family and I do make them pay for harrassing me. My mom and dad better change thier tune or if I ever have children they will NEVER see me or thier grandchildren ever again. Same goes for any other kin. If my girfriend can't deal with that fact then its time to get a new girlfriend who can.

[Vigile]

Shouldn’t we tell them how we think they are deluded fools (that is much less offensive then telling me I am worthy of eternal torture) but we will continue to love them anyway. We should be telling them how sorry we are for them, not the other way around.

 

I think we are having one of those "Eureka!" moments; at least I am.

 

The question "Now why do you still believe that?" put to them in a trite, condescending tone could go a long way here.

[spamandham]

I find I walk on egg shells and sometimes feel like I'm talking to "special" people... but that's an insult to truly special people.

 

Ahhh. You just made all my political correctness worthwhile. So many just use the word "retard", or "retarded" without thinking that in addition to insulting the person in question, they are also denegrating people who are not responsible, nor have any control over their lot, and who are the downtrodden of society.

 

You made my day.

[Sokudo Ningyou]

I just saw an article in USA Today about a travelling bus or some shit, handing out free ice cream and trying to show people that God is "cool." I say, get the Amazin' Athiest bus, or the Free From Fundamentalism bus and hand out even better shit, and educate people while feeding them. Do a circuit of America. With loudspeakers. And semi-nude girls with Darwin fish pasties.

[dogmatically_challenged]

I just saw an article in USA Today about a travelling bus or some shit, handing out free ice cream and trying to show people that God is "cool."  I say, get the Amazin' Athiest bus, or the Free From Fundamentalism bus and hand out even better shit, and educate people while feeding them.  Do a circuit of America.  With loudspeakers.  And semi-nude girls with Darwin fish pasties.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It is a shame that that is what it would actually take with most Americans, if its possible at all to get most folks to be atheist. Any hope of atheism becoming a large minority is a pipe dream. It will be a long, long time when most folks are atheist...if ever.

[MQTA]

It is a shame that that is what it would actually take with most Americans, if its possible at all to get most folks to be atheist. Any hope of atheism becoming a large minority is a pipe dream. It will be a long, long time when most folks are atheist...if ever.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Like the Libertarian party, can have all the good ideas they want, but they'll never garner more than 1 or 2% (and some prefer Skim LOL)

 

Maybe also like legalizing MJ... good pipe dream, good idea, but would never happen. I just want to see and hear the commercials for it! LOL

[dogmatically_challenged]

Like the Libertarian party, can have all the good ideas they want, but they'll never garner more than 1 or 2%  (and some prefer Skim LOL)

 

Maybe also like legalizing MJ... good pipe dream, good idea, but would never happen.  I just want to see and hear the commercials for it!  LOL

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yea. Libertarians should keep being watch dogs even if they will never get more 2%.