Karhoof Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 After a few weeks of reading the King James bible, I'm now deep into Psalms. Face it folks, weeks of KJV leaves you even thinking in 'thee's and 'thou's and 'shouldest's and 'dwelleth's and... ad nauseum. So, while taking a short break from what I called elsewhere as the unending chapped-lip fest of slobbering all over gods ass in Psalms, I thought I would try my hand at it and write a Psalm of my own (in King James style of course). Psalm 151 A psalm of Karhoof giving thanks, even unto Bac-ar’-di (151). 1 Give thanks! For it is good to give thanks unto the Lord of powerful spirit! 2 For I hath raised mine arms on high, and raiseth my cup on high: thou did thee fill with thine strong vintage. 3 Thy clear, golden spirit that burneth within, with a sweet savor, even unto my bowels that warmeth me from within. 4 For thy strong proofs causeth me to raise mine voice above the congregation with gladness! And loud praises issueth freely from the lips of my mouth. 5 Raise up thy cup, I say, again, raiseth up thy cup. Filleth my cup with thy warmth! And I will drink deeply thereof. 6 I shall cause all the congregation to taste of thy fruits. Freely, upon mine wealth shall they enjoin the celebration, every one. 7 I shall drink to my fill and fill my spirits with thy spirits. For thy strong spirit within me causeth mine head to swim as under the deep waters. 8 But Lo, thy strong proofs causeth my strength to go out from me. 9 Thy proofs confoundeth my legs and they holdeth me not. And causeth me to prostrate myself and go upon mine belly. 10 Yea, who can standeth long within thy strong spirit? Who is he? that I shouldst giveth my cup to thee? 11 Judge me kindly in thy wrath, for I do my self a mischief. Lo, I do my self a great mischief. 12 Look and see! I prostrate mine self before thy altar. And ease mine fore head against thy cool, smooth stone. 13 Thy sweet, cool altar, which issueth forth clear waters. Thy glorious, cool, pure white stone giveth me comfort. 14 Look upon me and judge me gently! On mine very knees prepareth I to make a heave offering unto thee! 15 A great heave offering unto thy altar, even unto thy throne, do I give thee. And to thee, again, I make my offering, as a vessel upendeth. 16 Giveth I, till hath I naught left to giveth; yet, do I, unto thee, still give. 17 I give unto thee, until it grieveth me deeply and I am sore grieved! And before thee I supplicate mine self and I am laid low. 18 O my God, my God, Why hath thou forsaken me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyone Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 After a few weeks of reading the King James bible, I'm now deep into Psalms. Face it folks, weeks of KJV leaves you even thinking in 'thee's and 'thou's and 'shouldest's and 'dwelleth's and... ad nauseum. So, while taking a short break from what I called elsewhere as the unending chapped-lip fest of slobbering all over gods ass in Psalms, I thought I would try my hand at it and write a Psalm of my own (in King James style of course). Psalm 151 A psalm of Karhoof giving thanks, even unto Bac-ar’-di (151). <snip> That is better than most of the other Psalms. Let's vote. I vote to make it canonical. That's how it's done, isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 A psalm of Karhoof giving thanks, even unto Bac-ar’-di (151). Strong stuff there, man. Tomorrow morning, you'll preach the Gospel of Puke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Yay, verily! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnight-mindwanderings Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 That is totally awesome in every way I really must commend you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefranden Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 I would think that Bac-ar’-di would be a false god in Appalachia. I thought Corn Squeezin's was God to y'all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRDWarrior Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 LMAO!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karhoof Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 I would think that Bac-ar’-di would be a false god in Appalachia. I thought Corn Squeezin's was God to y'all. Lo, but I am a wanderer in a strange land. LOL Born just outside of NYC and where do I move to? Strange... a week or so later, I read this and see docrine in it. Scary! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotBlinded Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 That's great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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