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Flamin' Funeral Insurance Ads


Casey
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Even pay TV has ads now. Heaps of 'em, but they're really pushing funeral insurance now. "Funerals cost upwards of $6,500!" they squawk. So much a week for peace of mind. And they show you a great itemized list to prove it. H'mm.

 

Let's look at it square on, assuming a burial. Well, you'll need a piece of paper signed by a quack. That's formally known as a Death Certificate of course. Unless it was you who was responsible for the demise of the deceased, in which case you won't need one of those. Matter o' fact you can combine a no Death Certificate death with a spot of pleasure boating, see

for some suggestions. Oh by the way, they've not found that particular deceased yet, and some would say, "Good riddance!" But I digress ...

 

OK you have your Death Certificate, now all you need is a crowbar, a shovel, and two likely lads. (A crowbar over here is what you'd call a spud bar in the US). Next up ya need an 'ole wot's six feet long, three feet wide and six feet deep. Should take t'lads between six and eight hours to dig that. Comes to 108 cubic feet of dirt or four cubic yards so it does. While they're digging that, well bejasus you can knock some planks together to make a box and a lid, can't you?

 

Even allowing for a couple lengths of rope with which to lower the deceased and another hour for t'lads to fill in the 'ole that comes to say an even $400. Or make it $800 if you want to lay on a keg of beer for the mourners, assuming there are any. Even at $800 that's less than an eigth of the price they're quoting, even allowing for the two fellows digging the grave at $20 per hour. So what's the big deal with funeral insurance? Do we ALL have to be buried like Michael Jackson?

Casey

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In my line of work I have seen many funeral bills. The cost can be staggering. If you want a casket burial it can easily run to $10,000.

 

Even if you just want to be cremated, it seems to be minimum $600 and I am talking cardboard box- shove- body- into- furnace. I have no idea why it costs this much.

 

I am opposed to all this advertising, but then again, I am also opposed to all the advertising for prescription drugs. That is why I rarely watch TV anymore.

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