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Can Someone Tell Me Why I'm Feeling Like This?


Guest keejay
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Guest keejay

Hey. I'm new here. And... I'm confused.

 

This wasn't some epiphany like Paul's road to Damascus. This happened gradually, and what came out was that I realized I didn't like where I was going.

 

I used to be this big-time Christian. Not Ted Haggard big, but you'd think that it's what happened when it came down to it.

 

This is what it was like about a month ago.

 

I'm in my junior year in high school. I play drums in the praise band at my church. I meet every second week with a bunch of guys at my church for breakfast at this local place, about three blocks away from where I live. I was just declared the leader of the Christian Fellowship group.

 

On the outside, I was a big-time christian with a great testimony that involved leaving a series of drug addictions.

 

but on the inside, I was confused.

 

I grew up in the church. My parents are 'elders' in the church I go to. They support the pastor and his wife or something.

 

I don't get how no Christian I know, focuses on what they think matters. Nobody focuses on God anymore.

 

so I took that as a sign.

 

If the people that believe in god, don't focus on god, then I choose to say he doesn't exist.

 

That's just the way it goes.

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Hey. I'm new here. And... I'm confused.

 

I don't get how no Christian I know, focuses on what they think matters. Nobody focuses on God anymore.

 

so I took that as a sign.

 

If the people that believe in god, don't focus on god, then I choose to say he doesn't exist.

 

That's just the way it goes.

I have never been happy with any answer that can only be answered one way. I like things to line up and be consistent. Consistency doesn't always mean the answer is the correct one, but when there are anomalies it should provide an impetus to search for the reason for the anomaly.

 

There are many ways of realizing that Christianity is incorrect. You have listed one. I think, however, that a good apologist could convince you that your particular reason is not sufficient to reject Christianity. I'm not going to do this since I'm a strong atheist, but I encourage you to keep reading (here and elsewhere) and see if reality supports your conclusion. I say it will.

 

Good luck, and welcome here. If it has only been a month, then I would expect you to have lots of questions. It took me 20 years, but I did it without the internet. :78:

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What do you feel that they are focusing on?

 

"If the people that believe in god, don't focus on god, then I choose to say he doesn't exist."

 

I'm not sure how you jump to the immediate conclusion of God's nonexistence from that...I could see assuming that their version of God does not exist...then again, if that's your version of God too then I guess that makes more sense.

 

So...let me see if I'm understanding correctly...

 

You are confused about how other Christians compartmentalize their lives entirely. They worship, they pray, they do all the "Christian" things, but outside of official church events they act like anyone else in the world.

 

You are feeling like your version of God, that you've served all your life, may very well be a sham.

 

Is that about right?

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Welcome, Keejay!

 

What you're feeling is actually fairly common. When you honestly look at the way self-proclaimed "Christians" live their lives, you will discover that they are no different from non-christians. The statistics support this: teen pregnancies and stds are the same regardless of religion; divorce rates are the same; and so on and so forth. Christians don't act redeemed.

 

There are only three possible responses to this realization: You can ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist (very popular in church), you can rationalize it with some drivel like "Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven (and ignore that the Bible says that the difference between christians and "the world" will be obvious), or you can do as you have done, and wonder whether there is any truth to Christianity at all.

 

Most of the people on this website have seen what you're seeing. Most of us have also studied the Bible, listened to all the common arguments, and tried like heck to find some way to make reality and what we see and hear in church fit together. We have all come to the same conclusion: it's a bunch of hogwash.

 

Hang out. Read. Vent. Argue. Discuss. It will do you good.

:grin:

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Guest keejay

I think you're all right. Which, is really weird, considering their all opinions of different people.

 

But... I'm just so confused.

 

See, all my life I've been under the assumption that God created everything, and that he reigned over all things. And that I should tell that to anyone willing to listen. But I don't know anymore..

 

See, every Christian group I'm in isn't even talking about Jesus. All they're talking about is the new programs and outreach opportunities. I've not heard one word about the grace and love and acceptance of God that you'd usually expect to hear.

 

(Just a disclaimer: I still think like a Christian, if that means anything. I'll speak in scripture when I see fit, but I'm trying to get out of that.)

 

If you went to some megachurch, and listened, you'd probably hear something that sounded like Motivational Speaking. Which, isn't that far from the truth if you know some of the preachers that I do.

 

Nobody pays attention to Jesus anymore. And as a Christian, shouldn't HE matter to you the most over all, above any program and above any outreach opportunity? I mean, come on! It's the only thing they need to worry about! They just don't get it.

 

They're worshipping the God that was MY God. They're failing their own god. And they think that this god is so powerful, that he can lift them out of their affliction! He won't because he CAN'T. He CAN'T because the god that they think is there, listening to them when the look up to the ceiling and say a bunch of words that they think are really meaningful, isn't actually there.

 

I'm just so burnt out on religion.

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I think you're all right. Which, is really weird, considering their all opinions of different people.

 

But... I'm just so confused.

 

I'm just so burnt out on religion.

For be it for me to try and pull you out of this funk. I think religion is a bunch of bunk, there is/are no gods, and Jesus is the most famous rabbi stuck on a stick, long dead, who said some good things and some bad things.

 

There are, I'm sure, some places that are Jesus Crazy. Crazy for Jesus. I think I just regurgitated a bit of lunch into the back of my throat - .... but it's going back down now except for that taste...

 

Anyway, if you're tired of quoting Scripture, give Shakespeare a try.

 

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,

Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

 

Things without all remedy

Should be without regard: what's done, is done.

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actually, Shyone, I have no problem with quoting scripture. It's just that now, I'll be using it for a different purpose.

I can dig it. (I'm old enough to use that style of grammar).

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It sounds like you've gone through a bit of a "meltdown", Keejay.

 

 

Your reaction to the priorities of people at your church and so on is only part of the confusion. It may be that you've reached a point where it seems that your "brothers and sisters in Christ" aren't that "spiritual" any more. Socializing and projects have taken over from worship, or perhaps meaningful discussion of life's problems. What they assume are the answers- tossing the occasional prayer up into space, and everything will work out- brings you much dismay. Your religion and Church have become just a system of rituals, without substance.

 

I also think behind your testimony that you feel yourself growing out of the "childish" aspects of Church belief and "pop-up sayings" ; you're looking for some real answers, not repetitive gibberish. You've served your church but it is no longer serving you; and if you have decided that you're better off perhaps working this all out on your own, you'd be right. In the end, you won't find the road to God by relying on other people, their self-serving ideas, or their fantasies. At the very least, you owe it to yourself to do your own independent journey with this stuff.

 

You'll find many people here who range from believers to atheists; you need to examine the big questions with people who have "been there" and come to your own conclusions.

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I remember feeling that...why wasn't the message of Jesus more important than maintaining the religion? I came to understand that I was finally looking at my own culture from outside the box, and it looked the same as every other culture, Jewish, Islamic, Hindu...people are told what to believe from the start, they don't choose by carefully considering options. I concluded that I could not logically claim my religion was correct and that, for example, whatever the native americans had believed before we killed them was incorrect.

 

Religion is a institution that sometimes usurps personalities...Jesus, Mohammed, L. Ron Hubbard...And religions teach whatever the culture wants to believe because debate makes people uncomfortable. You were given chains as a child, so that your actions would follow a certain pattern.

 

Maybe Jesus had some okay ideas, but maybe Buddha did too. Why can't we debate these ideas freely? Why not try and take the best advices from all philosophers? If not, we will never improve or grow, and fear of innovation and intelligence will become the norm.

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Keejay,

 

The best way to understand how much of what you've been taught to believe is real, is to walk away from it completely. You have to see it from a distance, to really grasp what a load of crap it is. Trying to "make it work" by standing hip deep in it won't work.

 

Just my 2 cents.

 

Rob

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