Jump to content

After 40 Years, I've Been Born Again


Freddy
 Share

Recommended Posts

Really great site, glad I found it. It's nice to know that there are so many others that I have something in common with....being an ex-christian.

 

Being a Christian came naturally for me, as I was raised up that way from the grandparents on my mothers side. While I didn't go to church regularly as a youngster, I still got soaked in God and Jesus a couple of times a week at g'ma and g'pas house. I don't blame them at all for pushing religion on to me. They thought they were doing the right thing. They are my two favorite people in the world (outside of my wife and kids), they got me out of a couple of jams growing up.

 

Off and on through my teen years I went to church. I am an avid reader, so of course I've read David Wilkerson, Hal Lindsey and that ilk. I was sold on Jesus was real and a part of my life, but I never took it hook, line, and sinker until I was in my 30's. Having kids and a wife that was increasingly becoming more and more of a church goer drew me in. I started reading more sophisticated authors, like Brennan Manning and CS Lewis. I began to attend Sunday school regularly and became part of the group. I strived to learn all I could about Jesus. But, for some reason, it just never got into my bones. I never went over the top with it.....I always had some reservations. But, I suffered through depression and many times it was the direct result of feeling inadequate in the eyes of God, and therefore in the eyes of my family.

 

About six months ago my cousin gave me a book by Dawkins (The God Delusion) and it started the wheels turning. I decided that I had to look at my "faith" more critically. Why wasn't my heart totally in it? Why wasn't I willing to take the next step towards God? I had to know the answers. I began to realize that I had no basis for my faith, other than I was brought up that way. I never had the opportunity to NOT believe. I never had the chance to study Islam, Buddhism, or Satanism.....or any other "isms" that were out there. I was steeped in the Biblical God and Jesus.

 

I began to quickly deconstruct my faith and re-examine my own mind. I followed up Dawkins with Stroebels "The Case For Christ".....to be fair and balanced. It did nothing to beat back the freight train that was coming from the back of my mind to the front.....there is no Jesus God. So I moved on to Harris and Hitchens. At some points I wanted to say "Stop making so much sense!", but I'm a logical person and I could no longer deny the groundswell of support that was crying out from inside my mind for the fact that I am not going to heaven...or hell.

 

Oddly enough, my cousin (and best friend in the world)was/is going through the same thing. He is much more callous and pissed however. He went to a seminary school and spent much of his life evangelizing to people...now he feels screwed by his past. In some ways, I do too, but I'm just letting it go. My past is behind me.....I'm now a born again former christian!

 

At 40, I feel free. Free at last, free at last. I don't wreck my self with guilt when I stumble. I don't think of myself as a worthless piece of flesh that will not become whole and worthy until I'm dead. I don't see my aging relatives as folks I'll be able to see again in the great beyond. I don't suppress my want to experience new things and form bonds with people I really like. I could not live a human life with God getting in my head and peeping over my shoulder with the universe's loudest "tsk, tsk" and the largest finger wagging at me. I no longer am tormented by the thought of being sent to hell by a God that is supposed to love me more than I love my own children.

 

It's over. I'm a born again human being. I'm glad to join the world! I'm ready to embrace life. Amen!!!

 

Freddy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome Fredddy,

 

I was interested in your word choice there, "I've been born again." That's how I felt it too when I lost my faith. It was a new experience, and in some sense, you could call it, spiritual. I felt the connection with the world and the Universe. It all started to come together.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome Fredddy,

 

I was interested in your word choice there, "I've been born again." That's how I felt it too when I lost my faith. It was a new experience, and in some sense, you could call it, spiritual. I felt the connection with the world and the Universe. It all started to come together.

 

Yeah..I get that...because that's how I really feel. I finally realize just how prejudiced I had become against non-believers and those who were "living a sinful life". I actually care about people more NOW than I did when I was supposed to be loving my neighbor! I'm still fairly conservative, by nature, but I've stripped away the fundamentalism and self righteousness. I feel like myself for the first time in my life.

 

Folks, I appreciate this site, like you would not believe. I have not disrespectful intentions towards believers (my wife is one), but it's just not for me. I wasn't as good of a person and that is eye opening. Freddy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Greetings, and congratulations on being "born again" into logic and reason!

 

I followed up Dawkins with Stroebels "The Case For Christ".....to be fair and balanced. It did nothing to beat back the freight train that was coming from the back of my mind to the front.....there is no Jesus God.

 

Indeed, I've listened to Dawkins some on YouTube and I've read Strobel's "Case For Christ," and the difference is like night and day. Even though I was still a believer when I read Strobel's book and I agreed with the message he was putting forth, I was seriously disappointed with how weak his argumentation was. This was a book that we believers were supposed to hand out to nonbelievers, but it was clear to me that the book wasn't strong enough to really convince someone who had serious doubts. Now, of course, I realize that the reason the book was weak was because he didn't have much to go on. ;)

 

Oddly enough, my cousin (and best friend in the world)was/is going through the same thing. He is much more callous and pissed however. He went to a seminary school and spent much of his life evangelizing to people...now he feels screwed by his past.

 

I can certainly identify with your cousin. I didn't go to seminary, but I did believe that I had a calling in music ministry and I had a strong interest in apologetics, so those were the focus of my life. I could have been pursuing a rewarding career, but instead I wasted years on religious nonsense. That really, REALLY pissed me off when I came to the realization that the bible and christianity are a load of manure. I'm not as irritated about it nowadays, but it still bugs me some.

 

It's over. I'm a born again human being. I'm glad to join the world! I'm ready to embrace life. Amen!!!

 

Enjoy the journey ahead of you. Amen!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I finally realize just how prejudiced I had become against non-believers and those who were "living a sinful life". I actually care about people more NOW than I did when I was supposed to be loving my neighbor!

 

Yeah, I was a bit prejudiced against nonbelievers as well. Of course, that's merely the product of being brainwashed with a bs worldview. I wouldn't say that I care more (or less) about people now, though, because I cared about people as a believer too, but I do believe that I can understand others much better now without the shackles of a false worldview.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Freddy

At some points I wanted to say "Stop making so much sense!",

 

 

It's an interesting transition, isn't it ?

 

 

There came a point in my life where I realized that try as it may, Christianity just wasn't making sense; didn't seem to follow any kind of logic, and began to appear to me as a fantasy that could be neatly edited and trimmed to suit the needs of the "user".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome Freddy - sounds like you're well on your way to the freedom many of us have found! You may be suprised at how your journey out of christianity goes - I didn't start out very angry either, but have actually gotten more angry as of late - for the most part I'm able to just let it go, but anytime I'm faced with christian drivel now it just gets my hackles up!

 

I actually care about people more NOW than I did when I was supposed to be loving my neighbor! I'm still fairly conservative, by nature, but I've stripped away the fundamentalism and self righteousness. I feel like myself for the first time in my life.

 

 

 

I, too have expressed this! Funny how that works!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest I Love Dog

Really great site, glad I found it. It's nice to know that there are so many others that I have something in common with....being an ex-christian.

 

Being a Christian came naturally for me, as I was raised up that way from the grandparents on my mothers side. While I didn't go to church regularly as a youngster, I still got soaked in God and Jesus a couple of times a week at g'ma and g'pas house. I don't blame them at all for pushing religion on to me. They thought they were doing the right thing. They are my two favorite people in the world (outside of my wife and kids), they got me out of a couple of jams growing up.

 

Off and on through my teen years I went to church. I am an avid reader, so of course I've read David Wilkerson, Hal Lindsey and that ilk. I was sold on Jesus was real and a part of my life, but I never took it hook, line, and sinker until I was in my 30's. Having kids and a wife that was increasingly becoming more and more of a church goer drew me in. I started reading more sophisticated authors, like Brennan Manning and CS Lewis. I began to attend Sunday school regularly and became part of the group. I strived to learn all I could about Jesus. But, for some reason, it just never got into my bones. I never went over the top with it.....I always had some reservations. But, I suffered through depression and many times it was the direct result of feeling inadequate in the eyes of God, and therefore in the eyes of my family.

 

About six months ago my cousin gave me a book by Dawkins (The God Delusion) and it started the wheels turning. I decided that I had to look at my "faith" more critically. Why wasn't my heart totally in it? Why wasn't I willing to take the next step towards God? I had to know the answers. I began to realize that I had no basis for my faith, other than I was brought up that way. I never had the opportunity to NOT believe. I never had the chance to study Islam, Buddhism, or Satanism.....or any other "isms" that were out there. I was steeped in the Biblical God and Jesus.

 

I began to quickly deconstruct my faith and re-examine my own mind. I followed up Dawkins with Stroebels "The Case For Christ".....to be fair and balanced. It did nothing to beat back the freight train that was coming from the back of my mind to the front.....there is no Jesus God. So I moved on to Harris and Hitchens. At some points I wanted to say "Stop making so much sense!", but I'm a logical person and I could no longer deny the groundswell of support that was crying out from inside my mind for the fact that I am not going to heaven...or hell.

 

Oddly enough, my cousin (and best friend in the world)was/is going through the same thing. He is much more callous and pissed however. He went to a seminary school and spent much of his life evangelizing to people...now he feels screwed by his past. In some ways, I do too, but I'm just letting it go. My past is behind me.....I'm now a born again former christian!

 

At 40, I feel free. Free at last, free at last. I don't wreck my self with guilt when I stumble. I don't think of myself as a worthless piece of flesh that will not become whole and worthy until I'm dead. I don't see my aging relatives as folks I'll be able to see again in the great beyond. I don't suppress my want to experience new things and form bonds with people I really like. I could not live a human life with God getting in my head and peeping over my shoulder with the universe's loudest "tsk, tsk" and the largest finger wagging at me. I no longer am tormented by the thought of being sent to hell by a God that is supposed to love me more than I love my own children.

 

It's over. I'm a born again human being. I'm glad to join the world! I'm ready to embrace life. Amen!!!

 

Freddy

 

From one Freddy to another, congratulations! I was only a Christian for 12 years amd I was happy at age 12 to be a born again human being!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You describe something that really jives with what I felt. I had "reservations." I didn't doubt the truth of what I was told, but I didn't feel committed enough to dedicate my life to it. But why not? If eternity hangs in the balance, and this is truly the "meaning of life", then why wasn't I evangelizing? Why wasn't I a Jesus Freak?

 

I was certainly active in the church, but that's not the same as dedicating your life to Christ. I never wanted to wear my religion on my sleeve. It was there, quietly in the background, but I had life to live even when I believed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Freddy welcome to ex-C.

 

Love your avatar.

 

:sing:

One: cut a hole in a box.

Two: put your junk in the box.

Three: make her open the box.

 

And that is how you do it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Freddy welcome to ex-C.

 

Love your avatar.

 

:sing:

One: cut a hole in a box.

Two: put your junk in the box.

Three: make her open the box.

 

And that is how you do it.

 

 

Yeah.....the box is useless without your junk in it! :wicked:

 

Freddy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.