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Abiyoyo Should Be Embraced And Loved, Not Banned


Ameen
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Abiyoyo belongs on this board and needs other people to extend their friendship and love.

 

I say this because in the thread in which I was discussing my feelings regarding the events of a week ago, HanSolo remarked that he would not ban Abiyoyo, something I had never asked anyone to do. I fear my words may have been misunderstood, something I stated in the the thread but also want to draw attention to in a new thread since not everyone is going to read my overly long posts. HanSolo also said that Abiyoyo felt there was a lynch mob mentality brewing--at least, that is what I get from re-reading some of HanSolo's posts in the other thread.

 

A group is best judged by the way it treats its minorities. Like me (a gay man) Abiyoyo is a Christian and thus a minority here. In the same breath that I talk about making the board safe from Christians, I must, out of fairness and after re-reading many of the posts in my long thread, say that the board must also be safe for Christians who are questioning (as opposed to Christians who are here only to make trouble). This is not easy for me to write, as I am still furious and will be for some time. But I am concerned that my penchant for repetition, determination, and good writing is starting to hurt the person I accuse of hurting me. No matter what I may feel about the situation, I want people here to embrace and love him the way I want to be embraced and loved.

 

Look, I do have OCD. I will go on and on and on even after posting this message. But my trying to deal with confusing feelings is no reason to alienate someone else.

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I admit I didn't know hardly anything about him when I started attacking him in your defense. See, when I know the poster is a Christian I'll just gloss over what they say unless it's short and sweet. So to me he was "just another Christian" like the other ass-hats here that are always bugging us.

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The mere fact that abi's still around already sets him apart from most of the morontheists who drop in here... and if we want to be fair, that's one thing we have to acknowledge. Whether we like it or not ;)

 

That said, yeah I feel annoyed by his postings too, sometimes, but I've seen much worse already. :shrug:

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Has this topic and set of issues been dug deep enough into the ground already?

 

I'm ready for things to mellow the hell out and get back to our regular bickering and arguing discussions.

 

 

kevinL

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Ameen,

 

I think you are being very brave, especially if your first instinct was to flee from the pain you felt. Many of us may never truly understand your OCD thought processes, but we do care about you. If I knew what to say to comfort you I would say it. In every freethought community there will be different ideas, sometimes conflict will occur. Conflict is a necessary part of human life, as we weigh what works and doesn't work, but everyone has different tolerances, and there is no shame in having little taste for it. Religion, spirituality, and reason are very personal matters and we can draw strength from our principles, so we also want to protect them when we are weak. But that says nothing about their validity, simply our emotional state which is not the judge of them. You need to heal, so perhaps you need to avoid or ignore such conflicts if they bother you so much, until you are stronger. You are a good person, and I hope you will get through these hard times all the better. If we can discuss anything to help you heal, since some of us may have been through the same injuries, by all means let us know what troubles you.

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@ ShallowByThyGame: That's very kind of you and I truly appreciate it. But perhaps we should take it to private messaging. I want this thread to be about Abiyoyo and his being accepted here, not about me.

 

@ nivek: This thread is here because it is only fair that Abiyoyo and I are both understood. I cannot understand him, but others here can understand and help him. Besides, this thread is nothing like my other thread.

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I think Abi means well, and it's courageous of you to take this stance Ameen. I am quite sure he will be less confrontational to you in the future as a result of this dialogue, and as a result might find himself saying the same thing in a different way to you. You've obviously been traumatized to hell by Christians and you don't need for anyone to reopen those things for you unless you want to do that yourself, so it's understandable where you are coming from. In all honesty I bothered to really think about this stuff some more and now it's pretty understandable where he is coming from too. The way I read what he said, he fumbled his words and it came out wrong; I think he meant to convey that the child in question in the other topic might be at danger not due to his sexuality but due to people who would persecute him for it. That's my take on what Abi said. I hope what I said helps and like I said, and I will say it again, I think you are courageous for clarifying your point.

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Thank you both, Phanta and QuidEstCaritas?-.

 

But once again, please keep accepting Abiyoyo the focus of this thread. I have had my say, and anything else about me should go to private messages.

 

@ Kyle: This is the second time you have replied to me insenstitively on an issue that concerns support on the board. Why don't you just put me on ignore and stay away from my posts?

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I think it's good for you to publicly forgive Abiyoyo and give this whole thing a bit of perspective.

 

 

I, for one, didn't blame you for expressing yourself and your problems on the board. I saw Abi as more catalyst than monster, though. He seemed shocked when he found out how much you were hurt from the incident.

 

I know that OCD conditions can be ruthless at times, Ameen, but one has to plow through it. You're an astute thinker and I like reading your commentaries.

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