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I Feel Like I'm About To Explode!


monkeygirl
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So I stopped being a Christian this last year. I look back and realize it had been a long time coming. That world view was slowly falling apart because it just didn't jive with reality, all it needed to completely go away was some in depth research of the Christianity, the bible and some science.

 

 

I'm a very passionate person and I've been on a passionate search for truth the last years so its roaring inside. I also live in the Bible belt. Most of my family and most of my friends are Christians. Its becoming harder and harder for me to be around them. They constantly bring up god in everyday conversations which I can handle decently but at family get togethers the topic of God comes up often. I've come out to my side of the family but my husband and I haven't' told his side. His side is the one that gets into religious talk a lot. They are very logical people and they think Christianity is the logical belief. They are so mixed up on facts especially about evolution. They think everyone they are talking to believes like they do so there tone is quite rude sounding and arrogant to my husband and I. they talk like atheist and evolutionist are stupid and highly misinformed.

 

 

Its so hard always being around people who do not think like you. I feel like I'm about to explode because I can't voice my opinion most of the time. Even if I'm around some christian friends or family members who know I'm an atheist I feel like i can't express my veiws because they will offend them. i feel like my views aren't as accepted and mainstream so i should keep them to myself. I'm the one who changed so i need to keep my mouth shut. Its getting really hard. I just needed to vent.

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It is hard. Those smart and logical Christians only carry their smarts and their logic so far; only to the degree that it supports a faltering belief system that they are trying to prop up.

 

I wince every time my wife, a conservative believer, begins to go on about god, Jesus or prayer. She still has trouble accepting my unbelief. She is literally in denial about it and thinks I just need a Christian counselor to "fix" me back to the way I was before. So anymore she tries to inject a little extra religiosity into our conversations.

 

In Texas, as well as places more in the heart of the Bible belt, it is easy to feel encircled and suffocated by silly theology, misunderstandings about evolution and the absolute refusal to ask questions and go where the logical conclusions actually lead.

 

I only hope you can find a group through meetup.com or some other source that will help you to get some relief from the encroaching isolation that you feel.

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The best thing to do is to become well read on the typical responses Christians of their ilk have when faced with nonbelievers. It would be best to know how to answer their "something doesn't come from nothing"s and their "YOU CAN'T PROVE GOD DOESN'T EXIST"s. When it comes to defending god, everyone is suddenly a scientist and a master debater.

 

...lol

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Wow, sister, all I can say is you are not alone out there!

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In Texas, as well as places more in the heart of the Bible belt, it is easy to feel encircled and suffocated by silly theology, misunderstandings about evolution and the absolute refusal to ask questions and go where the logical conclusions actually lead.

 

 

This is one of the reasons I want to move to Austin. The Oasis in the middle of redneck country.

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So I stopped being a Christian this last year. I look back and realize it had been a long time coming. That world view was slowly falling apart because it just didn't jive with reality, all it needed to completely go away was some in depth research of the Christianity, the bible and some science.

 

 

I'm a very passionate person and I've been on a passionate search for truth the last years so its roaring inside. I also live in the Bible belt. Most of my family and most of my friends are Christians. Its becoming harder and harder for me to be around them. They constantly bring up god in everyday conversations which I can handle decently but at family get togethers the topic of God comes up often. I've come out to my side of the family but my husband and I haven't' told his side. His side is the one that gets into religious talk a lot. They are very logical people and they think Christianity is the logical belief. They are so mixed up on facts especially about evolution. They think everyone they are talking to believes like they do so there tone is quite rude sounding and arrogant to my husband and I. they talk like atheist and evolutionist are stupid and highly misinformed.

 

 

Its so hard always being around people who do not think like you. I feel like I'm about to explode because I can't voice my opinion most of the time. Even if I'm around some christian friends or family members who know I'm an atheist I feel like i can't express my veiws because they will offend them. i feel like my views aren't as accepted and mainstream so i should keep them to myself. I'm the one who changed so i need to keep my mouth shut. Its getting really hard. I just needed to vent.

 

I'm not an ex-Christian, so to speak (although I do get accused of being anti-Christian quite frequently; it's amazing how that happens when you actually know the Bible and can quote it); however, I live in the middle of LDS country. I know exactly how frustrating it is when those around you start talking about religious things like missions and temples and whose getting sealed and whose fulfilling the celestial truths by bringing another life into this world and whose going on a mission and whose coming back from a mission...by the time they are done, you want to send them on a mission to some place in outer space so they can go find their celestial kingdom and quit talking about it.

 

Don't give up and don't cave in. I know the constant religious talk really does wear on you, and the only thing I can suggest is to disengage yourself from it as much as possible. And anytime you want to vent...I'm listening.

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I'm not an ex-Christian, so to speak (although I do get accused of being anti-Christian quite frequently)...And anytime you want to vent...I'm listening.

Welcome to the site, belladonna. Seeing that first line of text and, "Just one," under your Any gods? question, I have to ask, are you a Christian? Normally, I don't care, but as a mod, part of my duties are to keep an eye on this particular forum for Christian posters.

 

Christians are highly discouraged from posting in Ex-Christian Life; It's meant to be a safe place for ex-C's to speak their minds without having to worry about having to interact with Christians. Christians are highly encouraged to read here, but not post. Testimonies is the only other place on the site where Christian posters are regulated. All others are wide open.

 

Moderator Loren

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I'm not an ex-Christian, so to speak (although I do get accused of being anti-Christian quite frequently)...And anytime you want to vent...I'm listening.

Welcome to the site, belladonna. Seeing that first line of text and, "Just one," under your Any gods? question, I have to ask, are you a Christian? Normally, I don't care, but as a mod, part of my duties are to keep an eye on this particular forum for Christian posters.

 

Christians are highly discouraged from posting in Ex-Christian Life; It's meant to be a safe place for ex-C's to speak their minds without having to worry about having to interact with Christians. Christians are highly encouraged to read here, but not post. Testimonies is the only other place on the site where Christian posters are regulated. All others are wide open.

 

Moderator Loren

 

Hey, Loren - I don't mind you asking at all. I'm not a Christian in the traditional sense of the word; I consider myself a Gnostic. I was involved in traditional Christianity for a long time, until I found out traditional Christianity didn't want me - so, no - I'm not a Christian. In fact, I get accused of being a Christian hater, an anti-Christian, a non-Christian and an atheist far more than I am EVER accused of being a Christian.

 

I love this site because it makes me feel at home with people who have been through what I have, but if you feel my presence on this particular thread would be a hindrance, I have no problem respecting that. Just understand I'm not here as "a Christian"; just as someone who is still fighting her own demons on what to, and what not to believe.

 

Tell you what, though; reading other people's thoughts sure make me feel a lot better about myself.

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Monkeygirl, as you can see you're not alone here. I think everyone has felt the same way you have.

 

The cure for me? The wonderful world of the internet. Forums, chats, they're a marvelous way to meet new people. Sure, it's not face to face interaction, but I guess this is the modern world where most people live with those kinds of relationships. I mean heck, I'm one of those who met my hubbie online. =P

 

So I would take advantage of these forums, vent as much as you have to. It's better than going insane, and it will help you sort your thoughts out.

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Thanks everyone. Its nice hearing from like minded people who know what I'm dealing with. I don't know how I could go through this paradigm change with out there internet!

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I'm not an ex-Christian, so to speak (although I do get accused of being anti-Christian quite frequently)...And anytime you want to vent...I'm listening.

Welcome to the site, belladonna. Seeing that first line of text and, "Just one," under your Any gods? question, I have to ask, are you a Christian? Normally, I don't care, but as a mod, part of my duties are to keep an eye on this particular forum for Christian posters.

 

Christians are highly discouraged from posting in Ex-Christian Life; It's meant to be a safe place for ex-C's to speak their minds without having to worry about having to interact with Christians. Christians are highly encouraged to read here, but not post. Testimonies is the only other place on the site where Christian posters are regulated. All others are wide open.

 

Moderator Loren

 

Hey, Loren - I don't mind you asking at all. I'm not a Christian in the traditional sense of the word; I consider myself a Gnostic. I was involved in traditional Christianity for a long time, until I found out traditional Christianity didn't want me - so, no - I'm not a Christian. In fact, I get accused of being a Christian hater, an anti-Christian, a non-Christian and an atheist far more than I am EVER accused of being a Christian.

 

I love this site because it makes me feel at home with people who have been through what I have, but if you feel my presence on this particular thread would be a hindrance, I have no problem respecting that. Just understand I'm not here as "a Christian"; just as someone who is still fighting her own demons on what to, and what not to believe.

 

Tell you what, though; reading other people's thoughts sure make me feel a lot better about myself.

Thanks, belladonna. That's all I needed to know.

 

Btw, reading Elaine Pagel's The Gnostic Gospels years ago gave me some fascinating insights which allowed me to read even deeper between the lines in some of the anti-Gnostic screeds of Paul, The-Greatest-Christian-Who-Ever-Lived: "They refuse to bow to MY authority! That's how I know they are of the devil!"

 

Thanks for your ever cogent and well-thought-out theological perspective, Paul, you asshole.

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Thanks, belladonna. That's all I needed to know.

 

Btw, reading Elaine Pagel's The Gnostic Gospels years ago gave me some fascinating insights which allowed me to read even deeper between the lines in some of the anti-Gnostic screeds of Paul, The-Greatest-Christian-Who-Ever-Lived: "They refuse to bow to MY authority! That's how I know they are of the devil!"

 

Thanks for your ever cogent and well-thought-out theological perspective, Paul, you asshole.

 

Hope I'm not hijacking, but this caught my eye because I can't overestimate the influence Elaine Pagels' writing had on my deconversion. When I first very nervously began to ask questions as a Christian, she was an accessible first step in my research into the history of scripture. In fact, belladonna's elegant description of her stance is very close to where I was for a long time. And at that time, I can assure you I was no Christian :god:

 

And I agree about the Internet -- it was not around in 1992 and it was a lot harder to find kindred spirits then!

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Thanks, belladonna. That's all I needed to know.

 

Btw, reading Elaine Pagel's The Gnostic Gospels years ago gave me some fascinating insights which allowed me to read even deeper between the lines in some of the anti-Gnostic screeds of Paul, The-Greatest-Christian-Who-Ever-Lived: "They refuse to bow to MY authority! That's how I know they are of the devil!"

 

Thanks for your ever cogent and well-thought-out theological perspective, Paul, you asshole.

 

Hope I'm not hijacking, but this caught my eye because I can't overestimate the influence Elaine Pagels' writing had on my deconversion. When I first very nervously began to ask questions as a Christian, she was an accessible first step in my research into the history of scripture. In fact, belladonna's elegant description of her stance is very close to where I was for a long time. And at that time, I can assure you I was no Christian :god:

 

And I agree about the Internet -- it was not around in 1992 and it was a lot harder to find kindred spirits then!

 

 

 

Ironically, her husband, Hienz Pagels, author of "The Cosmic Code" which is one of my favourite generic books on quantum physics and other related topics, written for the layman, or hobbyist-scientist type.

 

 

In 1969, Pagels married theology professor, author, and MacArthur Fellow Elaine Pagels.

 

 

(from Wikipedia)

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I'm not an ex-Christian, so to speak (although I do get accused of being anti-Christian quite frequently)...And anytime you want to vent...I'm listening.

Welcome to the site, belladonna. Seeing that first line of text and, "Just one," under your Any gods? question, I have to ask, are you a Christian? Normally, I don't care, but as a mod, part of my duties are to keep an eye on this particular forum for Christian posters.

 

Christians are highly discouraged from posting in Ex-Christian Life; It's meant to be a safe place for ex-C's to speak their minds without having to worry about having to interact with Christians. Christians are highly encouraged to read here, but not post. Testimonies is the only other place on the site where Christian posters are regulated. All others are wide open.

 

Moderator Loren

 

Hey, Loren - I don't mind you asking at all. I'm not a Christian in the traditional sense of the word; I consider myself a Gnostic. I was involved in traditional Christianity for a long time, until I found out traditional Christianity didn't want me - so, no - I'm not a Christian. In fact, I get accused of being a Christian hater, an anti-Christian, a non-Christian and an atheist far more than I am EVER accused of being a Christian.

 

I love this site because it makes me feel at home with people who have been through what I have, but if you feel my presence on this particular thread would be a hindrance, I have no problem respecting that. Just understand I'm not here as "a Christian"; just as someone who is still fighting her own demons on what to, and what not to believe.

 

Tell you what, though; reading other people's thoughts sure make me feel a lot better about myself.

Thanks, belladonna. That's all I needed to know.

 

Btw, reading Elaine Pagel's The Gnostic Gospels years ago gave me some fascinating insights which allowed me to read even deeper between the lines in some of the anti-Gnostic screeds of Paul, The-Greatest-Christian-Who-Ever-Lived: "They refuse to bow to MY authority! That's how I know they are of the devil!"

 

Thanks for your ever cogent and well-thought-out theological perspective, Paul, you asshole.

 

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY!

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Thanks, belladonna. That's all I needed to know.

 

Btw, reading Elaine Pagel's The Gnostic Gospels years ago gave me some fascinating insights which allowed me to read even deeper between the lines in some of the anti-Gnostic screeds of Paul, The-Greatest-Christian-Who-Ever-Lived: "They refuse to bow to MY authority! That's how I know they are of the devil!"

 

Thanks for your ever cogent and well-thought-out theological perspective, Paul, you asshole.

 

Hope I'm not hijacking, but this caught my eye because I can't overestimate the influence Elaine Pagels' writing had on my deconversion. When I first very nervously began to ask questions as a Christian, she was an accessible first step in my research into the history of scripture. In fact, belladonna's elegant description of her stance is very close to where I was for a long time. And at that time, I can assure you I was no Christian :god:

 

And I agree about the Internet -- it was not around in 1992 and it was a lot harder to find kindred spirits then!

 

Elaine Pagel is an incredible author; I've read her work and love her insight. Another book I read that described fundamentalism to a tee was Quiverfull, by Katheryn Joyce.

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They are very logical people and they think Christianity is the logical belief. They are so mixed up on facts especially about evolution.... they talk like atheist and evolutionist are stupid and highly misinformed.

 

Maybe there's hope for them. I was pretty much the same way when I was a believer, thinking that history and "true" science supported the Bible. I approached my life and faith from a logical angle, but I just had inaccurate information to work with. Once I started seeing logical holes in Bible belief, my faith began to falter, and I eventually realized that it's all a load of bullshit. Perhaps some of your "logical" Christian family members will also one day see the light.

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