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SEEtheScorn
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Let me start by saying that these forums are SO informative and helpful. I haven't even scratched the surface of the resources that are here, and the stories and as ya'll cal them here "anti-testimonies." I've been a forum whore since my young evangelical days, and that doesn't seem to be stopping. I just love discussion and debate, I definitely think it has helped me get to where I am now.

 

But I'll begin my story, and try to keep it as short as possible. I tend to type a lot. ;) I just need something to jump-start me in these forums.

 

I don't call myself a Christian anymore, and it's been a gradual slope downward for the past few years. Although only a year ago I had gotten married and had in our wedding service worship. Haha! I had the intent of "putting God first" in our marriage. You know the drill I'm sure.

 

Well, the doubts had started long before that. Ironically, all because of what I had learned in a Christian college studying Bible and Theology!

 

Shortly after that wedding, it all broke down in... gosh I can't remember the class. I think it was actually a class I was attending with my husband on Galatians. Marvelous class and excellent professor. I still respect that professor to the uptmost.

 

It started (well, the full spiral down, it started way before that) with me not being sure Jesus was equal with God, and not being sure at all that Jesus himself even thought he was God. I remember telling my husband this doubt in the subway station after Galatians class. The shock and disappointment on his face wasn't pleasant, as was the ride home. I told him I think I was taking a path far away from ever being able to believe Jesus was God again, and telling him I wanted him to know he could believe what he wanted. Long story short, I think he accepts who I am now, but we don't talk outright about it. I don't think he believes as I do (raised Catholic, he claims I lead him to salvation in Christianity when we first met) as when I make certain comments he does the "no splash-back!" thing, or gives me an upset face.

 

From then on, I studied, and studied, and read, and learned under professors and I'm at the point now of no semblance of Christianity and never wanting Christianity. I actually like very much some aspects of Judaism and thought about converting at some point... but doubt I could fit in with their doctrines either. I have a vague belief in a god, but don't think I would mind if there wasn't one.

 

Trying to wrap this up now without ranting too much more- haven't broken it to my parents. My whole family is evangelical christian. Very devout, love the lord. I came from being evangelic, born-again, even "performed miracles" and "saw people healed" myself. My parents are still convinced I'm going to be a Pastor, actually I'm just studying the Bible because of the fascinating history the document has. I'm really just pursuing scholarship. And I love my mom too much to break her heart like that. My husbands family is all Catholic, and would also be devastated. So I don't forsee myself breaking the news anytime soon, if at all. But I fear it coming out inadvertently.

 

But that's my story, and I'm sticking to it! Look forward to informative discussion here.

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From then on, I studied, and studied, and read, and learned under professors and I'm at the point now of no semblance of Christianity and never wanting Christianity. I actually like very much some aspects of Judaism and thought about converting at some point... but doubt I could fit in with their doctrines either. I have a vague belief in a god, but don't think I would mind if there wasn't one.

 

Trying to wrap this up now without ranting too much more- haven't broken it to my parents. My whole family is evangelical christian. Very devout, love the lord. I came from being evangelic, born-again, even "performed miracles" and "saw people healed" myself. My parents are still convinced I'm going to be a Pastor, actually I'm just studying the Bible because of the fascinating history the document has. I'm really just pursuing scholarship. And I love my mom too much to break her heart like that. My husbands family is all Catholic, and would also be devastated. So I don't forsee myself breaking the news anytime soon, if at all. But I fear it coming out inadvertently.

 

But that's my story, and I'm sticking to it! Look forward to informative discussion here.

Fascinating! I think your description of your current beliefs is close to Deism - one god, but not defined by scriptures or creeds.

 

Your pursuit of scholarship reminds me of my own and was a crucial element in my belief system. I went beyond the bible to other ancient manuscripts that predated the bible and hebrews. Unless you believe in the ancient mesopotamian polytheistic gods, you will be hard pressed to believe in Yahweh, angels, demons and Satan after such study.

 

Science is the last bridge to cross. The clear view that science offers of the potential for understanding is vastly superior to the ignorance recommended by the bible.

 

Good luck on your journey, and glad to have you here.

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Shyone, I love extrabiblical ancient texts and I've been eating up any books summarizing them that I can. Reading intertestamental texts was one of the things that greatly pushed my progress out of Christianity. Great historical reads!

 

I agree with you when you said reading as such deters from belief in YHWH and such, and I think you're right in calling me a Deist, for some reason I don't feel entirely comfortable with that though. Not sure why.

 

If you or anyone has any books to recommend, I'd love that. Although I've seen there's already a section here giving a list.

 

All in all, thanks for the welcome.

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and I think you're right in calling me a Deist, for some reason I don't feel entirely comfortable with that though. Not sure why.

 

There are other Deists here, though there's really no need to label yourself at all.

 

Welcome and good to have you here.

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Welcome to the jungle, STS. Lots of knowledgeable folks here and always an interesting discussion or two.

Strange as it sounds to most xians, the beginning of the end for a lot of us was the bible itself. It has more holes than Dunkin' Donuts and is harder to follow than a chinese roadmap. GONZ9729CustomImage1539775.gif

Glad to have you and look forward to your posts.

 

--Larry

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Shyone, I love extrabiblical ancient texts and I've been eating up any books summarizing them that I can. Reading intertestamental texts was one of the things that greatly pushed my progress out of Christianity. Great historical reads!

 

I agree with you when you said reading as such deters from belief in YHWH and such, and I think you're right in calling me a Deist, for some reason I don't feel entirely comfortable with that though. Not sure why.

 

If you or anyone has any books to recommend, I'd love that. Although I've seen there's already a section here giving a list.

 

All in all, thanks for the welcome.

I think the best way to approach what you believe is to just form your own opinions. You decide what other people should call you. My suggestion of Deist was not meant to pigeon-hole you, but give you a framework that resembled to me what you were describing. I alternate between atheist and agnostic, but for practical purposes I'm atheist and comfortable with that.

 

There are so many books - For someone just leaving Christianity I would recommend a book that was recently recommended to me and I bought it out of curiosity. It's really well done. "Why I Believed; Reflections of a Former Missionary" by Kenneth W. Daniels is sympathetic, understanding and really tears into apologetics.

 

My personal favorite from years ago is "Atheism: The Case Against God" by George Smith. Of course everyone talks about Dawkins (The God Delusion), Christopher Hitchens (god is not great) and Sam Harris (a couple of books), and I think these are all worth looking into. For the philosopher, "Atheism: The Philosophical Justification" by Martin is good, but using mathematical formulas to represent ideas is so esoteric that it can be a difficult read for some.

 

The old standbys such as "Why I am Not a Christian" by Bertrand Russel and Robert Ingersoll's books are good starting points. Thomas Paine's tract against Christianity is really a powerful read, and he believed in God.

 

I'm leaving out dozens of books but I think that some of the books on the Forum Page recommended by Amazon are probably good too.

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