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Terrible Xtian Gifts Part 2


bird28
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I can't find the thing at the moment for some reason so I can't take a picture, but I just got an x-mas gift that topped the ugly cross I got for my birthday...

 

It's a little piggy bank that says on it "With God all things are possible"

 

Should I hit it with a hammer before or after I put change in it? :grin:

 

Edit: I found it.

 

post-5465-126195044478_thumb.jpg

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awww, the pig is cute! Don't take it out on the poor piggy! Jesus was a pig killer! Just put a cool sticker over the god stuff. Make it your own. :)

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I got a Christian gift before it was the biggest WTF moment on Christmas literally (it was actually the same year I deconverterd). I literally was "huh" when I opened it. There was money inside of it and I was more excited about that than the actual book. After that year my cousins never gave me anything like that again.

 

Here is the book:

 

The Young Man in the Mirror: A Rite of Passage Into Manhood

http://www.amazon.com/Young-Man-Mirror-Passage-Manhood/dp/0805426418/ref=pd_sim_b_3

 

I threw away the book since then :wicked: . The book basically is Focus on the Family the book and it talks about sex and how porn is bad and that crap. Very awkward book to get for Christmas.

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I can't find the thing at the moment for some reason so I can't take a picture, but I just got an x-mas gift that topped the ugly cross I got for my birthday...

 

It's a little piggy bank that says on it "With God all things are possible"

 

Should I hit it with a hammer before or after I put change in it? :grin:

 

Edit: I found it.

 

piggy.jpg

I'll pray for you.

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I got a Christian gift before it was the biggest WTF moment on Christmas literally (it was actually the same year I deconverterd). I literally was "huh" when I opened it. There was money inside of it and I was more excited about that than the actual book. After that year my cousins never gave me anything like that again.

 

Here is the book:

 

The Young Man in the Mirror: A Rite of Passage Into Manhood

http://www.amazon.com/Young-Man-Mirror-Passage-Manhood/dp/0805426418/ref=pd_sim_b_3

 

I threw away the book since then :wicked: . The book basically is Focus on the Family the book and it talks about sex and how porn is bad and that crap. Very awkward book to get for Christmas.

Last Christmas I got Sean Hannity's new book from my dad, a die-hard conservative and Republican of the Year several years ago. I was trapped with the damn book for a week, five hundred miles from home. My dad walks by, 'you reading that book yet?' I would have it stuck in the arm of the chair, and pull it out, 'yeah, dad. Neat book.' He would leave the room and I'd cram it back down in the arm of the easy chair and go back to watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I never did get past the first three pages of it. I thought I'd wait until dad goes a little zingers from old age senility and then give it back to him for his birthday. A friend took Ann Coulter's book, whatever it was, to the shooting range and put a box of .30-06 through it.

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Please don't shoot the messenger! The pig is cute!!! I agree with thefriendlyghost. Cover the message and keep the pig!

 

Edited by noob for bad spelling. Time for bed.

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Last Christmas I got Sean Hannity's new book from my dad, a die-hard conservative and Republican of the Year several years ago. I was trapped with the damn book for a week, five hundred miles from home. My dad walks by, 'you reading that book yet?' I would have it stuck in the arm of the chair, and pull it out, 'yeah, dad. Neat book.' He would leave the room and I'd cram it back down in the arm of the easy chair and go back to watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I never did get past the first three pages of it. I thought I'd wait until dad goes a little zingers from old age senility and then give it back to him for his birthday. A friend took Ann Coulter's book, whatever it was, to the shooting range and put a box of .30-06 through it.

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

Awesome! I have nothing that can top that.

 

As for the piggy bank, I'm for filling it with quarters and telling the family Jesus told you to take it to Vegas. Tell 'em he told you he'll hook you up with a jackpot, and if he comes through you'll convert.

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I'd just paint over it. I'd personally paint it black and give it red eyes--something demonic complete with fangs.

 

I did worry about getting that crystal cross with the lawrds prayer engraved in it. Geez, those people selling that piece of crap is just ripping the masses of big time ($40 for something that probably just plastic). Luckily, I did not get one.

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I'd paint it but if you are not the crafty type no harm in throwing it off a roof :D.

 

I actually didn't get any xtian crap this year which was shocking. My grandma who used to has cancer and didn't feel up to shopping so just gave me money and prints of pictures from 2 years ago she finally got developed. Pretty nice actually.

 

Some great uncles sent my daughter 4 children's bible stories including "The Christmas Story". I let her keep the drummer boy one because the art in it is very nice but I quietly took the rest and hid them in my room. She loves "Baby Cheesis" as she says - I think because there is always a sheep next to him - but I can't stomach the title that goes with it. The holiday is much better sans Baby Cheesis and Santa Claus.

 

I am glad my family knows enough to not ever try giving me political books. I think I'd set them on fire right then.

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Did you ask them why the hell they would give you a graven image of an unclean animal?

You took the words right out of my mouth. :HaHa:

 

Though I kind of like the pig. My granddad used to collect "piggy" banks (though not just pigs proper) so I've got a bit of a soft spot for them. I'd repaint it. It would be easy to cover with that artsy granite texture looking spray paint at Michael's or other supply store (I don't know how a granite rock pig would look though).

 

mwc

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I SHIT YOU NOT- I got that same pig for Christmas this year from my grandma!! It was in a gift basket with some candles and The Prayer of Jabez. I could give it to my Muslim friend as a joke...

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I SHIT YOU NOT- I got that same pig for Christmas this year from my grandma!! It was in a gift basket with some candles and The Prayer of Jabez. I could give it to my Muslim friend as a joke...

Oh, lord that would be hysterical - assuming your friend has a great sense of humor.

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yeah, it's sitting in the livingroom now.

 

Anyway, I forgot to add, when my cousin gave me that pig, he specifically pointed out what it said and said is with emphasis!

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My boss "gave" me a donation in my name to her church's global ministry fund. Apparently they build wells while telling people that Jesus provides even better water, because its Living Water and it springs eternally.

 

Why my boss thinks this is an appropriate gift to give at a secular workplace is beyond me. I was thinking of giving a donation in her name to Humanist Charities. Is that subtle enough?

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My boss "gave" me a donation in my name to her church's global ministry fund. Apparently they build wells while telling people that Jesus provides even better water, because its Living Water and it springs eternally.

 

Why my boss thinks this is an appropriate gift to give at a secular workplace is beyond me. I was thinking of giving a donation in her name to Humanist Charities. Is that subtle enough?

Sounds to me like the ministries don't have faith that Jesus will provide anything. Otherwise they would pray or send bibles.

 

Anyway, how about a donation to a fund to support freedom of the press with emphasis on pornography? I did a google search and couldn't find one right away, but there is a lot of porno out there...

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yeah, it's sitting in the livingroom now.

 

Anyway, I forgot to add, when my cousin gave me that pig, he specifically pointed out what it said and said is with emphasis!

 

How old is your cousin?

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My boss "gave" me a donation in my name to her church's global ministry fund. Apparently they build wells while telling people that Jesus provides even better water, because its Living Water and it springs eternally.

 

That's pretty low. It's quite f'd up to presume that you would want to spend your gift on that! Does she think she's witnessing to you in doing this?

 

Why my boss thinks this is an appropriate gift to give at a secular workplace is beyond me. I was thinking of giving a donation in her name to Humanist Charities. Is that subtle enough?

 

That would be great. For namesake, the Freedom FROM Religion Foundation would be another one to consider, and she may even get the point even better from it. Either would be fine.

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