I Converted To A Christian In My Adult Life

[Abiyoyo]

I responded to someone in another thread and wanted to just start a new topic about my conversion to being a Christian in adulthood. I am getting the vibe that people don't see that as possible without strings attached. This was my response and story of how it happened.

I was normal Normal guy. I never thought about God, and if I did, it was for just a thought, then vanished. I had no interest in going to church, and if I did go to church, it was only because my wife or girlfriend went and wanted me to go with them. Other than that, I had no use for church. I believed in God and all. I didn't know the Bible, names of books, where they were, etc. If you would told me to turn to Corinthians in the Bible, I was one of those that took 10 minutes to find it in the index, (of course, after flipping through it for a few minutes). So, my Bible my mom gave me had dust on it.

 

I did do the whole church, God, Bible thing for almost a year once, but it was just because I dated a religious girl. But, all I cared about then really was having sex with her, and didn't ever get it, so I stopped caring about all that churchy stuff.

 

The only way I know how to communicate my transformation into the person I am today may sound a little cheesy, but in my mind, it's the truth.

 

Have you ever bought a car, liked it and all, thought it was different, cool, didn't remember seeing that many around? Then when you buy it, drive it, clean it, you start to see your car EVERYWHERE and it seems like everyone has one The thing is though is that the car was around the whole time, you just weren't looking for it.

 

Religion came to me in this light. For me, one day I saw nothing, then I was introduced to the idea of being a Christian (follower of Christ) by my own mind, and I bought it, attended the idea, started trying to pray, believe, talk to God, etc. (No Bible as of yet, didn't like to read much). And, it was like all of a sudden, I saw everything different, churches, crosses, people, life, the world; to me, it was like that car, when I bought it, I saw it everywhere.

 

This changed me forever and I have endlessly searched high and low through the history of Christianity, along with other religions beliefs, read the Bible a number of times, analyzed different translations and the evolution of the Bible and am at a point where the isn't much content of the Bible that I am unfamiliar with.

 

For me, just typing that statement is a miracle, and if you knew me like I do, you would see it as a miracle as well. I hated reading, I had no use for anything educational, except maybe math; and now, I love to read, study, research, discuss, think of different ideas, theories.

 

In summary, though church and religion had been there the whole time, it didn't pertain to my mind, it was far from my mind. So, yes, I was Catholic as a child, alter boy, up until about junior high. Then I quit alter boy because it was embarrassing as people at school went to the church. Then, I didn't go to church at all for some years (which made me happy because I really hated going to church)

 

I got in trouble at school and was sent to a Baptist private school. There I was forced to keep a Bible in my cubby (which I ruined and drew on) and forced to learn Bible verses to pass my grades (which I resented). We couldn't wear shorts, couldn't speak at school, had to write thousands of sentences if we talked, disturbed the class, or any other offense. I went to this school until my senior year(where I dated the girl that was religious).

 

My junior year, I quit trying to be good churchy, Bible guy for my girlfriend, and went back to, "normal". See, even though I was surrounded by church, god, scripture, it ALL felt cultish, abnormal, not me. That is because I was not religious.

 

Summer of my senior year, I had a bad car accident and my mom couldn't afford to keep me on her insurance anymore, so I had to go live with my dad. Senior year, I got into trouble my first day, had to write 2000 sentences as punishment. My dad pulled me out of the school and put back into public school. I had alot of friends from public school still, as the private school was always like a prison or something. I went there for 2 quarters until my friends and I were considered gang activity by the school board, and one of my friends mom's put him in a private school. I also went to this more liberal private school for the remainder of the year.

 

Now, the scene was this. Religion was for geeks, and great material for my friend and I to crack on some folks. Happen to be, there was about a 10:1 ratio of cool to geek, which worked out good.

 

Graduated, was working, no church life going on, and all my gang activities led to me not being able to even go to the gas station without someone trying to jump me.(from the other side, you know East/West thing) My stepbrother went to a Christian college. He came home and talked me into coming up there with him to school. He is gay (though at the time he was still in the closet). I knew he was gay then, and figured that if he liked it there, and looked, acted, talked like a gay man, then it must not be to bad.

 

So, I went. Met my first wife there who is religious. Same deal as the girlfriend, Me + church = female happy. That's it. Her whole family was religious, and thought I was Satan I resented most of any church, or church people my whole life. Judging, telling me I am hellbound, etc. I really made me mad that people would seriously think I was a bad person because I didn't talk about church 24/7. It baffled me and I thought they were loonies.

 

We had a child together, and then I went from Satan to just a sinner That's how I felt anyhow. Life basically went on for about 6 years after that. We both dropped out of school, me year one, her year two; and we became a family. I moved up in my work, became a very successful manager in my market, and was considered for supervision before my changes happened. At this point in my life, work was my life, and made me go from sinner to really, really, good guy that needs to accept Jesus and come to church (Oh yeah, and tithe from my good earnings).

 

I tithed because of my wife, went to church, dealt with religion in general. When my wife would go into 'I need Jesus' speeches, I would contend with her, argue a good bit. I, then, felt that providing for my family, becoming responsible, caring for my wife and child, these things were essential to me, not church stuff. I would mess with her and ask her if my grandma, my sweet grandma was going to hell since she is Catholic and they don't do all that crazy stuff you guys do. She said Yes !!

 

I resented religion even more at that point, especially hers. So, life was normal for me, probably comparable to any other ExCer. Dealing with religion and the religious. The only difference is that I had no clue what the Bible said about what and just went with what seemed rational most of the time. To me, it was rational to believe in a God, one God over all stuff, Holyman from God, a Book about God, and also, that nobody knew the correct answers because my mind told me just from observations that one place does it this way and the other another way.

 

Going back to where religion came to me, and apologize for the long response, but, nobody here has ever expressed curiosity about my transformation as an adult. That in itself is a long story and I will summarize. Crazy stuff started happening to me. First, a lady who worked for me knew I was going to do something I considered bad, which was trying to cheat on my wife. The day I decided to go forward with it, out of the blue, the lady said she needed to speak to me, and told me she knew I was going to do something bad, and it would jeopardize my career. She specifically said that I wouldn't get fired, but it would end my career.

 

I followed out my plans anyhow, and sure enough it caused a big problem. She declined the offer basically, then couple months later claimed sexual harassment, which started a snowball effect. I was very successful at work, so they ended up transferring her to another location. But, it didn't end. I felt like my supervisor (female) looked at this not so good, and she already resented me because she felt like I was handed my successful location without any work needed (which wasn't true, far from it)

 

That summer I started praying to myself in the car, shower, alone. Asked God to help me, that's about it. The store started falling apart. Had bad Mothers day in our numbers, took longest in company to do inventory, then they got robbed at gunpoint, then I got wrote up for being down in a quarter. So, everything went downhill. My old supervisor told me to keep a notice on me just in case she stopped in to fire me. For the first time that I can remember, I spoke about my faith. I told my old supervisor that it was in God's hands.

 

After this it gets a little sticky. I really hope you read this, and anyonbe else reads this whole thing and doesn't just read this part because I have had to many people tell me that I need to get my brain examined, or go see a psychologist.

 

Life sucked, and my wife also was distant from me intimately and emotionally. She was mad at me because for years she was overweight and I was overworked and never felt up to extra activities. She lost about 90 pds, and resented me because later because I got my sexual urge back, I lost weight to because of changing my diet for my health. So, all this is happening at the same time. I came home one day, I was upset about my job, my wife and I were arguing, and I felt like it was all my fault, I felt worthless.

 

So the life of me didn't work anymore because I was screwing it up, and I didn't understand why God would be letting these things happen when I was praying to Him???

 

I prayed one last prayer. "God, I have my eyes open, my heart open, my ears open, please tell me what to do"

 

Andddd, ...He did. I quit my job, and decided to devote my life to God instead of the world. I honestly thought everything would be different, happy since my wife wanted me to know Jesus, get saved. It was very different, in all kinds of ways.

 

That car example, the day I quit, that day it was like my eyes opened to everything. I saw crosses, churches I never noticed, people everywhere! All in a different light, I saw the light. I bought it, owned it, claimed it, and now saw it everywhere. It was and still is quite amazing in my mind. My wife hated me and said that God didn't tell me to quit my job, He wouldn't do that. So the best day of my life was also the worst day of my life because now my wife was ready to walk out, and I now was unemployed.

 

Amazing things happened since then, and horrific things have happened since then. I have felt like God is right beside me, to feeling like I am in the pits of the most horrible of hells. I have been stable, going broke, broke, almost homeless, homeless. I have been alone, had friends, people use me, people take advantage of my kindness, people love me, hate me, care about me, disown me.

 

But, I don't take back any of it because I know now, even though much the same as before, I know what is in that Book, what walking with faith is, what God's strength is, what evil can be available in the world, how blindness and deaf ears are real within religion, and out of religion.

 

I started talking here about 5 years ago and have researched, learned, read, analyzed, discussed, debated, felt good in God, felt God did not exist and I was crazy at times.

 

It has been quite a journey. I have lost alot, and I have gained alot.

 

So there it is, the how I became a religious nut in my adult life. After all that happened with my job, I began to read the Bible and read it in four months. I read everyday. I have since reread it, done commentaries on my own, research the church's history, just dove full force into Christianity, religion, life, hope, faith, all that.

 

My new life has not been perfect, but it wasn't perfect when I left the old one either, and now, I at least know what I know about God and can make sense of it in my mind.

 

I posted to Shyone that I didn't want to hear about the strings that could have attached me to converting, but, ..I changed my mind. I want to know your opinions. Please, be honest.

[Legion]

Yeah Abiyoyo, I read it when you first posted it. (see comments there)

 

I think you're an interesting critter.

[Abiyoyo]

Yeah Abiyoyo, I read it when you first posted it. (see comments there)

 

I think you're an interesting critter.

 

Oh yeah, very similar except I spoke about some other things in this one that I don't think I have mentioned here.

[chefranden]

This changed me forever...

 

You have no idea if it changed you forever, because it has not been forever yet. I have no argument with your changing. If you are not changing you are dead.

 

This sounds like the story of growing up. Religion is part of the story, but it is unlikely to be the "one thing" that changed you. Settling down to certain routines is part of maturing, and developing a devotion to some sort of religion accompanies maturity for most people. There is nothing miraculous about it.

 

Being an unbeliever is an anomaly of the general human condition. Only small portion of the population is able to see that the emperor is naked. It is much more of a "miraculous" event that a person should become an unbeliever in his/her maturity.

 

There is nothing unique(uncommon - miraculous)about your story except that it is the only story that you've experienced in a direct way.

 

I'm not trying to belittle your story. I'm only trying to put it in context. If I examine your story from my story's perspective, I would say that you are about 20 years behind me. 20 years ago I would have and did claim to have been "changed forever" into a believer, bible/religion student. Turns out that I wasn't changed forever into a believer, bible/religion student. That is why I warn you that it hasn't been forever yet.

 

Edit: I don't claim to have been "changed forever" into an unbeliever, because it hasn't been forever yet, but for me the end of forever is getting close.

[Shyone]

I posted to Shyone that I didn't want to hear about the strings that could have attached me to converting, but, ..I changed my mind. I want to know your opinions. Please, be honest.

I would never belittle my wife for her beliefs, and I won't do that to you. I don't hold those beliefs, but I did. I was just as smart then, Graduated Summa Cum Laude, member of Phi Beta Kappa, and I was a Christian. I wasn't stupid. I was mistaken.

 

I'll tell you one thing that changed me - forever. I was in the car with my father, and we had driven to Mexico. On the way back, we stopped at the ATF tax station (used to be called LCB), and they asked my father what he had to declare. He pointed to a bag with two bottles of alcohol - the limit per adult in those days - and said "Two bottles of alcohol." I chimed in, "What about the bottle under the seat?"

 

Later, my father said to me that I had done the right thing, and that was more important than anything else. My father, right then and there, solved the "Euthyphro dilemma".

[florduh]

I chimed in, "What about the bottle under the seat?"

I thought you said you were smart. Freakishly honest perhaps, but smart?

[Abiyoyo]

 

 

Later, my father said to me that I had done the right thing, and that was more important than anything else. My father, right then and there, solved the "Euthyphro dilemma".

 

Religion sometimes is like a good bottle of liquor, a little is better than a lot, unless you just don't care, then a lot is needed