Jump to content
Goodbye Jesus

Here We Go With The Music Again


Mudflappus

Recommended Posts

I just finished a whirlwind tour of several sites that attempt to describe in great detail why Christian Praise Music and Christian Rock suck so bad. As a working musician of thirty odd years I had to agree with most of the points made. The stuff is pretentious bullshit crooned over whatever passes for top forty music (three years old). My rant here has more to do with the public reaction to every one of these lists. No matter who says it, no matter who eludes to it, no matter who calls this garbage what it is, there's always a fucking contingent of mealy mouth do gooders that complain that the person is painting it all with a broad brush and that they should try listening to X or Y because they are the cat's meow in the Christian Music world. Listen, I absolutely can not stand Christian rock. It attempts to steal all of the things that made Rock music cool to begin with and poorly couples it to positive messages that Jesus himself would approve of if he ran a radio station. It's crap. I don't want to hear ANY of it period. I don't care who the artist is, I don't care what the style id and I sure as Hell don't give a flippety flying dog fuck whether or not it's a "cross over band". If you label any music "secular" while you poof your chest out about your Christian Rock's moral superiority over the rest of us guitar playing slobs then you should have your ears poked out with a tuning fork. That is all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

bullshit.

Do you care to elaborate BDP? I tend to agree that Christian Rock sucks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

bullshit.

Do you care to elaborate BDP? I tend to agree that Christian Rock sucks.

As a retired weekend warrior I also agree. There's only so many ways to sing "let's kiss His divine ass."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

bullshit.

 

Tell me, are you going to say that I need to listen to (insert band name here) because I'm just not getting the right level of Holy Shit with the current Christian music scene too?

That's how I'm interpreting this double syllable reply.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Super Moderator

I thought Christian music sucked even when I was a Christian.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mudflappus - Love it!!! Right on!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

the hubster and myself were just talking about xtian music the other day....it all sounds the same! plus, suckie!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There are some bands that actually are pretty decent.

 

I'm still a big fan of Starflyer 59. They mix late 80s dream pop/shoegazer with laid-back mid 1960s Beach Boys type stuff.

 

Seriously, check them out: Starflyer 59 - I Drive A Lot

 

It ain't gonna fill an arena, but they're just as good as any other journeyman indie* outfit playing before crowds of a few hundred.

 

*Meant in the original sense, not the artificially marketed sense of today.

 

Otherwise, yes indeed, most Jesus music is shit. Particularly the stuff that entails explicit deity-ass-kissing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Actually I'd have to say my favorite Christian band is Faith +1.

 

But then I'm a bit twisted. :wicked:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Most Christian music does suck. I still like the Supertones' music, but I can't like to Xtian music any more because of the pain it brings back.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

gwen - HAH!

florduh - me fucking too. everything I've heard his Shit + 1.

Christian Rock = pretentious lyrics written by unimaginative christards who weren't good enough to make it in the "secular" music scene. Which is really, really bad, considering the crap that has passed for music in the last couple of decades.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the problem with most christian music, is that instead of just doing their thing, they are trying very hard to fit in.

 

Kind of like when you can tell the awkward kid in school that is trying real hard, but just doesn't get it. That is christian music.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I notice a couple of appropriate words got neglected in this thread, so for your convenience, I'll toss them in:

 

Insipid.

 

Inane.

 

"Christian Rock," is an oxymoron. Rock is all about rebellion against authority.

 

Christianity is all about sycophancy and making sure that everyone sucks the correct cock.

 

"Submit! Obey! Grovel before your owner so that maybe you'll get your teaspoon of 'joy' and personal security!"

 

Rock???

 

ROCK MUSIC, MOTHERFUCKERS?!?!?

 

How fucking dare they!

 

Where's the vomiting emoticon??? I NEED IT!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the problem with most christian music, is that instead of just doing their thing, they are trying very hard to fit in.

 

Kind of like when you can tell the awkward kid in school that is trying real hard, but just doesn't get it. That is christian music.

 

I think that's accurate. Though I think a different analogy is more apt. They are like vice cops trying to dress up like hookers to fool the Johns. It's awkward and only fools the truly gullible.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Actually I'd have to say my favorite Christian band is Faith +1.

 

But then I'm a bit twisted. :wicked:

 

Yeah, the lead singer is totally :rolleyes: sexy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, the lead singer is totally sexy.

 

I kinda had a thing for the drummer, m'self.

 

 

 

:wicked:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Precisely why I couldn't stand Xtian "rock" even in my emo (and Xtian) days. Secular music was better, and the Xtian lyrics wigged me out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

bullshit.

Do you care to elaborate BDP? I tend to agree that Christian Rock sucks.

As a retired weekend warrior I also agree. There's only so many ways to sing "let's kiss His divine ass."

"Let's kiss His divine ass..." hmmmmm. :scratch:

 

Notepad, awaayyyy!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

well i guess i'll be the one to shame myself most of all....

 

I enjoyed Petra....

 

esp their more "jewish-ish" sounding stuff.

 

(i was a fundy teenager in a home of band rodies atheists)

 

Never got onto anyone else, i thought it all rather sucked, but then i did not devolp an ear for ye olde rock n roll till i became a rebellious late teen, then it was straight to Queensryche, Alice Cooper etc.

 

but if i ever needed that "i am a true chrisian" feeling Petra gave me the warm fuzzys everytime, and i could dance to it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

weren't good enough to make it in the "secular" music scene.

 

Ever heard of Fugazi? Big festivals aside, even at their height they could have played before a couple thousand fans at the absolute most. Maybe a few hundred on an average night.

 

However...

 

...if it wasn't for Fugazi, and for Ian MacKaye in particular (who was also the frontman for the legendary Minor Threat), and others like him (such as Bob Mould of Husker Du), everything from Nirvana to the latest shit on Top 40 rock radio simply wouldn't exist. And I'm not exaggerating, either.

 

Legendary underground bands like Fugazi are easily better and more pivotal than 99% of the shit in the Top 10 at any given time. Yet MacKaye only ever had a lower middle class income at best, if only because he's also the owner of Dischord Records. If a band strikes it rich, that doesn't mean they're good. Such bands often, perhaps typically, suck. Some of the most demonstrably important, pivotal bands--as in, modern music as we know it simply would not exist without their influence and innovation--were never able to get a headcount of more than several hundred on an average night.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

but if i ever needed that "i am a true chrisian" feeling Petra gave me the warm fuzzys everytime, and i could dance to it.

Dance to it?

 

I always felt awkward dancing to Xtian music. It felt sacreligious somehow, and I went to a church that was OK with dancing (the "wholesome" kind, that is).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Generally I agree. However I would just like to say that I have seen tons of bands in my day, both "secular," and "Christian," and I have yet to see any band with guitarists that can match the skill of Michael Sweet, and Oz Fox of Stryper, both in performance, and musicianship. They are a wonder to behold live, and I still enjoy them, even as an agnostic. I would also like to add that Glen Kaiser of the Resurrection band is also an incredible musician, and a hell of a nice guy. Don't let your anger at religion, and Christianity blind you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

but if i ever needed that "i am a true chrisian" feeling Petra gave me the warm fuzzys everytime, and i could dance to it.

Dance to it?

 

I always felt awkward dancing to Xtian music. It felt sacreligious somehow, and I went to a church that was OK with dancing (the "wholesome" kind, that is).

 

 

 

Sure... if questioned i woudl answer back in my best jesus voice... Have you not read how david showed his praise by dancing naked before god?

 

i figured if david could dance then maybe it would be alright if i danced too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Net Eng

As a retired weekend warrior I also agree. There's only so many ways to sing "let's kiss His divine ass."

 

You asked for it so here's the first verse:

 

<80's rock, power ballad style>

 

 

:sing:

 

I was born of woman's stain

Brought to earth with a sinners brain

But jeebus taught me right from wrong

so now I sing his righteous song

 

So let's Kiss, his ass divine

for human beings are nothing but slime

 

< let others more talented than I continue>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.