Kurari Posted January 30, 2010 Share Posted January 30, 2010 There is a new woman at work, who's very Christian. On a whole, I don't care. I get along with her pretty well, she's nice, a good worker, and I just ignore the God bits. Whatever blows up her skirt, it's not my life. Well, she's taking a liking to me, and she asked me today if I wanted to go to church with her. I told her no thank you...I...uh...have one. Then I mentioned the name of a friend's church because that's what I pulled off the top of my head. We didn't get much beyond that because someone came up to ask her a work question. It seems assuage her for now, but I didn't like lying about it. I just did not see a way to be truthful without possibly setting her off and making life really inconvenient for myself. Then again, I'm not sure I did already if she thinks she's found another Christian buddy. You can't reason with crazy. Especially religious crazy. And it got me thinking ahead. There is a small town I'm hoping to move to at the end of the year, but it's like most small towns, centered on the church and I'm afraid I'm going to get this again, especially since my future husband is a Christian (so lax it's a non-issue and he doesn't give a shit I'm an atheist). How do you get past these sorts of situations without spilling blood in the water and making religious sharks swarm to come harass the new meat that obviously needs saving? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RankStranger Posted January 30, 2010 Share Posted January 30, 2010 I just tell christian co-workers that I'm not religious. Then I'll either discuss it with them (keeping it relatively shallow... this is WORK after all), or just feign disinterest- depending on what I feeel like doing. It's never really caused me a problem, even with hard-core Baptists and Pentecostals. I can get confrontational as hell if I want to (and sometimes I do if a christian knocks on the door, and I'm in a bad mood). But most of the time I prefer to deflect it. Not avoid- deflect. The best way I can describe it is to approach the conversation as a slightly disinterested skeptic- rather than the stereotypical Bitter Atheist. And it's funny how people react to this. In several cases (I can think of three), the Christian Coworker seemed to take this as sortof a challenge to live out some kind of example for Christ... making a point to display just how nice and honest they are. Now this might bother me if it was a close friend or relative- but a True Christian putting on that kind of show actually makes for a fairly pleasant co-worker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted January 30, 2010 Super Moderator Share Posted January 30, 2010 I agree with Burnedout regarding the privacy of beliefs. I'd just politely decline an invitation to church, and if pressed for a reason play the privacy of beliefs card. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted January 30, 2010 Share Posted January 30, 2010 As long as they are not my boss, I would just tell them flat out that I am an atheist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qec Posted January 30, 2010 Share Posted January 30, 2010 Hmmm. Interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurari Posted January 31, 2010 Author Share Posted January 31, 2010 Thanks for the responses, guys. Does the "not religious" and "I'm very private about my beliefs" actually work? I thought about saying that I wasn't religious, but thought that might be a trigger to make her want to recruit harder. I thought about the whole Matthew 6:6 thing and saying I'm a firm believer about praying in closets... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RankStranger Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Thanks for the responses, guys. Does the "not religious" and "I'm very private about my beliefs" actually work? I thought about saying that I wasn't religious, but thought that might be a trigger to make her want to recruit harder. I thought about the whole Matthew 6:6 thing and saying I'm a firm believer about praying in closets... I think it depends a lot on your personality and how you interact with said believer. If the believer has power over you (socially or through the structure at your job), then it's pretty likely that they'll use it- that's just human nature. But if this coworker is your peer, and you're just as assertive and confident as he/she is- then I wouldn't worry about it. Most people appreciate it when you're frank with them- it's one of the few social tricks that I'm really good at. So when I tell them I'm not religious, they can see that I'm being honest, direct, and not intimidated- but at the same time, I don't come across as The Bitter Atheist. One pentecostal that I work with right now followed that answer up by asking "so does that mean that you're an atheist". I told him something along the lines of "I guess you could say that, but I don't throw that word around a whole lot 'cause people generally think it means that I eat babies." He seemed satisfied enough with that- and he's been living his Christly Example for well over a year now. I've even gone drinking with him a couple times (don't ask me to explain how/why a Pentecostal goes drinking. I have no idea and don't care a whole lot.). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scepticjoe Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 I would say "No thank you." If pressed further, I would say "I don't discuss religion or politics, it leads to too much arguing." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freddy Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 This always works.... "Fuck no, I don't want to go to your church." It's to the point and expresses exactly how you feel. To your own self be true. Freddy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator buffettphan Posted February 1, 2010 Super Moderator Share Posted February 1, 2010 Usually I try to avoid conversations with people like that. They don't listen to reason anyhow. But if pressed too much, this is my reply: "If I believed that shit, I'd be in church." Sometimes I'll substitute the word "shit" with "crap" or "stuff" depending on who's trying to recruit me. Diplomacy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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